Not Serious

Mr Liow is not for continuing with Flixotide since Dr Lee sees that ER is ready to stop if not for the POX. l am excited that he is ready to stop but the thought of him possibly suffering from Bronchitis during this period scares me.

Call me overprotective or coward but a mother having to watch her child gasping for breath takes either nonchalance or a strong heart.
But he's been well since his last visit in March prior to the most recent one and after Mr Liow expressed his choice as well, we decided to stop puffing him.

Pray for protection.

As for the chickenpox, ER is actually doing better than l did. He has only 3 on his back, one on his arm and another on his earlobe.

There are more really tiny ones that come and disappear in hours. Out of the 3 on his back, one had burst and another is small and nice (not swollen like mine. Thank God!). That one looks like it's dried up. That's fast!

The rest of the bumps do not look much like blisters.

He complains of pain when he lies down once in a while for the last 2 nights so l got him to lie on his belly when he feels the pain.

And because of my Chickenpox, ER is about to be weaned. He hasn't latched for 2 weeks and doesn't insist anymore. In fact, he sleeps through the night now.

He still thinks he'll get to latch again l think. He's been counting the scars on my face and neck and declaring "Mummy no more bumps!" But l still have some on my belly and back.

He also squeezes my xx and sips the mem mem with his lips without latching.

l can't bear for nursing to end but it has to someday.

Baby has to grow up.

We're moving on...

Bye bye babyhood..

Ethan's Turn

Spotted a few blisters on his back and hand this morning. Brought him to Dr Lee (his Flixotide review is on Friday and I asked if I can bring him today).

Good news is,  Dr thinks he's good enough to stop the nightly puffs now but because of the pox, she prefers that I continue in case he's not strong enough at this point.

ER actually had 1 out of 2 Varicella jabs so this outbreak may not be how it commonly affects others. I can choose to suppress the pox with medication and jab him later but after learning that:

1. The medicine takes bad
2. It's compulsory that he drinks 4 x 5mls of it daily for 5 days, without wasting a single drop
3. It's costly

I decided not to suppress it.

He's going to gain natural immunity against future exposure if he goes through this period without medication.  Even though Dr Lee suggests he goes for the second Jab whether or not we suppress the outbreak this time, I figured the prevention with mediation definitely means no immunity formed.

So,  no mediation (except for something to help relief the itch).

It is likely he gets it at full impact, but he may also get very little blisters but recover slower than usual. Because he's "half immuned", Dr Lee says she can only quote me possible scenerios.

We'll see how it goes.

Apparently, he's not itching much yet.  He's complaining about pain, especially the one that broke.

Pain is good.  Pain prevents him from scratching or even touching those blisters. 

Poor baby. 

Hope AN doesn't get any of it.  She had all the jabs. Hope that she won't have to suffer much even if she really gets it from us.

Observant Adrielle

She is not a very focused little girl but she's observant.

l loved those potted flowers we had since CNY but someone else thought nothing of them.

Someone likes to dry clothes on poles in the balcony and it doesn't bother her that the clothes are sweeping all over the flower.

Best thing was, the flowers were regenerating after the first batch withered and both AN and l started looking forward to a new bloom.

Days later, l saw the plant was broken. She had the poles over them the day before. A pole probably fell onto them and broke them.

My heart ached. Even AN noticed and asked me why the plant look destroyed.

Mr Liow asked to0.

l give up.

l won't put in any more effort.

Mobile Toilet

She threw up so much it was more practical to hang the bag from her ears.

Just kidding.

For photo fun only. :p

To Laugh Or Cry?

The 2 of them are capable of confusing me so much I can be terribly upset for minutes before they tickle me soon after. .

AN woke up unwell this morning, threw up at least 5 times and is now running a mild fever. I hope it's not stomach flu. Her stools are firm and she has only gone once today.  No indication of diarrhea.  Hopefully this is just indigestion.

Am finally putting ER in underwear.  And he's making us busy. He's not totally ready (being able to hold his bladder is a good sign and he's not able to hold yet).

Despite acknowledging that, I decided to let him put on underwear today so that he understands the consequences of not letting go randomly. Just to let him get a feel of the discomfort being wet.

He's been peeing in the potty for a while now but it's mostly on my cue instead of his.

Which is why today is a busy day. Because we were busy clearing accidents (ER) and puke (AN).

Finally, it's nap time. But ER refuses to sleep. AN had been napping the whole morning and wasn't exactly sleepy.  But girls being girls, she obliged when I requested they both go into the room with me. Sweet, right ?

ER, on the other hand, had a thousand and one activities that keep him up and going around the room

He then asked for milk.  Sigh. ......

I gave him milk and AN followed us out.
And then I returned to the room to cool off because I was fuming. He looked sleepy but wasn't willing to nap. It was almost 4pm, not a good nap time either.....

10 mins later, there was complete silence from the living room. I went out and saw both had dozed off.  ER dozed off before he finished his milk and the cup was lying beside him.

AN woke up when I took this picture and posed for me.

After this, she dozed off again.

How to be angry with them for long? Kids are kids.  They have no bad intentions but sometimes it's so hard to stay cool with their non-compliance. Especially when routine is disrupted and you can forsee what may happen next is not to any one of our advantage.

Funny kids there.

Craters

One with compliments from Ethan Ryence who brushed a stuffed toy across my chin and rubbed a scab off prematurely.

Another got washed off by the strong gush of water when I showered.

The way my scars supernaturally disappear,  I'm going to be covered with craters all over me after this episode.

New TOOL

Finally a new phone after my S2 showed signs of failure.

I love NOTE 2.

In fact,  I am loving this big screen and convenience of writing with a stylus so much I think I'll be moving along with the Notes from now on.

The kids love this phone too! ER had been learning to write the alphabet. Hehe. AN uses the stylus for memory games (no particular use for the stylus)

It's so responsive and fast. 

Thanks dear.

Feeling Bored

I feel the urge to grab the bag and bring ER out.

It's a been a week. I'm starting to feel bored.

Promised ER I'll bring him to the library after my exam. Not only did I not take the exam,  I won't be able to bring him out till those blisters dry up and fall off.

Sigh...

Soon.  Hang on.

Bringing Him Out

To be fair, I thought it'd be good I note that MIL brought ER out so that I could go hide in the room.  Whether he will come back banging on my door after they come back is a different story.

He cried all the way to the LRT. Not a very willing shopper today as compared to yesterday when my mum brought him out.

MIL has a piece of advice to me: "You fall sick easily.  Quickly wean him off. It'll be easier for you."

Really?

Because he didn't cry for mem mem when I have to be separated from him.  He cries for me. 

Because we have a mother-son bond.  Because I spend time with him and on him. Because I give him attention and he is comfortable with me. Because we do things together.  Because I don't simply brush him off with "我不懂你讲什么" and walk away when he's blabbering.

Because this grandma doesn't bother, he knows.

Has this got anything to do with my mem mem?  Bottle-fed babies don't stick to their mums??

He can be bottle-fed and still need me by his side. It's normal,  no?

Whatever it is,  her efforts in taking him out today,  I appreciate.

That's about it.

Pimple or Pox

l feel like Squeezing this one.

L0L!

My Angels

My mum is always my greatest care giver when I'm in my worst of health.  (that's not to say Mr Liow isn't but he's not one who can differentiate between heaty ailments and cooling ones).

Even when she doesn't stay with us, she makes her way here to deliver chestnut drinks she started preparing since 4am every morning since Friday.   

And she offers to cancel whatever appointment she has to take care of the kids for us so that even Mr Liow could get some break.

Mr Liow had been picking them up from her when he wasn't working over the weekends and keeping the kids occupied.  The kids short-circuit his temper many times. Thanks dear for giving me that much rest time.  And for bearing with the Kids' nonsenseS.

I was lying down most of the time because my bottom hurt.  I cringed everytime I had to wipe myself after peeing. I couldn't sit. It was horrible.... Felt almost exactly like I had been stitched up after childbirth.

ER at this point, shouldn't still be nursing. It wasn't easy but he had learnt to ask for me to hug him tightly while he slept instead of "mem mem". He'll probably be weaned after this.

His little brains figured that since it was those bumps on my body that stopped me from nursing him, if those bumps vanished, he should be allowed to nurse again. So, he asked me to cover the bumps on my neck with my hair and face with my bangs. Then he victoriously declared: "Mummy, no more bumps!"

When that failed, he got me to check his body for bumpS by insisting he felt one. l did find one but it didn't look like a pox. When l admitted that was a bump , he frowned and pleaded: "Ethan has lots of bumps. Ethan needs "Mem mem". 

Didn't work, so he gave me a hard time before deciding that a hug to sleep was the best mum can afford to give now.

AN is another angel.

She had been updating me on my hideous appearance daily.

l look obviously frightening but she assured me that l wasn't. That she loves me even with those bumps.

And every morning, she'Il tell me l look better than the day before.

Well, my MIL, giving the reason: "反正我在家他也不要我", either goes out as usual or doesn't give a damn even when she's home.

My mum cancelled her appointment on Saturday just so we could rest. MIL was in such a convenient position to help but she had no such intentions.

Only when she heard me tell Mr Liow that my mum would help on Saturday did she suggest bringing AN and ER out herself to meet the nieces after AN's lesson yesterday.

Today is the same.

My mum will be coming to take ER to her home. MIL left home early before lunch. ER is none of her concern.

Tommorrow will be the same. My mum will help so that MIL can go out without feeling guilty.

What kind of a MIL is that? What kind of a grandma do my kids have?

l won't die without rest but the kids should keep a distance as much as possible.

After so many months and ER is still rejecting her. That just shows how much effort she makes in bonding with him.

* ROLLS EYES *

Chicken Pox

At 34 years old, I'm sitting for my first exam in over a decade.

Guess what?

I am showing signs of chickenpox too!

Really cannot describe my feelings now.

I won't be allowed to re-take my exam unless it's hospitalization, or on compassionate ground.

How? Sob.

Fever, Now?

Mildly high temperature at 37.6°c yesterday, so I left KFC earlier than usual.

Felt feverish whole of today, so I stayed home. ER didn't spare me; he stuck with me in the room from after lunch to dinner.

Today was wasted.

I'm 38.1°c now.

WHY??

Exam is this Saturday and Sunday. I've been fine this year. Till now.

Please.

It's one important target I have this year. I must fight a fair battle.

I will recover by tomorrow.

Carrying Her Brother

ER pretended to be a baby and AN wanted to carry him.

Reminds me of when she carried him when he was really a baby.

Happy Mother's Day

AN made this last week and had been dropping obvious hints to me that she made something special for me.

She too learnt a chinese song about mums that she said she would sing to me on Mother's Day. But she couldn't help singing it randomly throughout the week at home. I asked if it was that song she was supposed to sing, she went "oops",  smiled and confessed that it was.

Since Thursday, she didn't allow me to look into her bag. The surprise was inside and I was banned from packing her bag.

On Saturday, she went "oh yes! I almost forgot!", dashed to her school bag and showed me this card.

Love it!

She then said: "Mummy, I don't want to keep making you angry. I want to obey but I cannot help myself sometimes. But I really want you to be happy."

That is sweet :)

Because I'm not bounded by your schedule

She went out to meet her ex-celebrity friend on Tuesday by telling me on Monday night.

I didn't want to give my mum last minute notice to help, so I did whatever revision I could with ER by my side.

Just for the record, she didn't help on Monday either.

She was available on Wednesday and told me on Monday.

But because she WILL leave whenever someone dates her, I'm NOT SUBJECTING MYSELF TO ONLY STUDY AT HER AVAILABLE TIMING.

I left ER at my mum's place after pre-arranging with her.

Since that Wednesday, she (not my mum) would subtly suggest that she was available on Wednesday but I chose to leave ER with my mum.

She then innocently added: "我有在家，可以帮你看， 可是随便你们喜欢"

Mr Liow suggested he'll take leave to help me and she repeated that I chose to bring ER to my mum on Wednesday.

Today when Mr Liow asked her again, she repeated she will be able to help from Monday-Wednesday (tomorrow onwards). AND ADDED THAT SHE WAS ACTUALLY HOME TO HELP LAST WEDNESDAY.

I'm trying hard not to retort that I bought ER to my mum on Wednesday because she (his mum) "flew kite" on me both Monday and Tuesday last week, at last minute.

I haven't much time left to ther exam dates but she doesn't feel the importance of it.

I don't blame her. My exam really doesn't benefit her (neither makes her richer, or prettier, famous nor younger).

But to keep using the Wednesday's incident, apparently against me, implying that I was the one who didn't appreciate her "help", that's just testing how long I can hold out before getting defensive.

What help did she give? Just some convenience to spare. Don't go bragging about it....

Another Treasure Hunt

This time, AN had to search all the words in the quote from "The Seven Ravens".

Not the actual, scary version but the kiddy version.

I read the story and AN listened hard.

She perked up when I read: "Keep these in your pocket. You never know when they might come in handy." and started searching through the jumbled pile of words that she found marked out on a map of the living room.

She then pieced those words together and voila!

ER came out of the room in time to take pictures with AN's finished work.

He posed, like he was the one who found the quote.

Lol!

"Because I'm home"

She made lunch for ER despite me telling her that I will do it.

Go ahead.

But she cooked and then went back to "her" room. She didn't inform me to watch the fire (but because I'm not as nonchalant as she is, I saw when I went into the kitchen, more times than the one who was cooking!)

The liquid in the pot dried up and I heard sizzling. I shut the fire off and went to inform her what she was making for ER was dried up.

She rushed out to check and said she totally forgot about it.

But it's never her fault. She had to add: "I'm usually very careful. It's because YOU are home today."

My fault for being home?? You, not remembering to turn off the fire, my fault?

I swallowed that offending remark and added a little boiled water to the porridge. Always porridge. Only porridge.

She then commented that she hasn't added salt.

I was surprised because she advocates healthy food and boasts to her friends that she never added salt to food she prepares for kids.

She even commented once that the pasta soup I made was too salty. It was made with scallop. Tasty, not salty in my opinion. I never used salt in their food.

Hypocrite!

I showed my surprise: "Huh? You add salt in his food?"

You'll be amazed at her answer: "No! I never add salt!"

Shuts me up everytime she lies through her teeth.

Then she continued: "At most a little (touching her pinky to emphasis how little). If not, it tastes so plain, he won't eat."

So she does add salt.

I told her I usually make soup stock from chicken, pork, scallop, anchovies etc to make soup tasty. Salt is not necessary. 

I don't mind salt but I hate dishonesty. Can you trust someone dishonest? She claims impressive ways with your kids but then you have to find out otherwise.

No, she's not ER's caretaker. She just forces her way around. And till I pass my exam, I'm allowing her.

Beggars cannot be choosers.

I'm glad though she has grand plans to save the world outside on most days so I don't have her "help".

In case you wonder, I added cream cheese to the porridge. She asked if ER gets diarrhea eating "mixed-up" food like this.

He never did. At least there's protein and calcium together with sodium in his food instead of PURELY SODIUM.

And she so confidently boasts to friends how she handles kids, even mine now (that apparently are just sweet nothings, to impress)

Help?

"I have something on today. I'll help you tomorrow", she said.

Whatever. I don't NEED her convenience.

Suddenly this morning, she updated me that she will be meeting Mavis Hee (the singer) tomorrow and cannot help me with ER.

Her star friend that she's so proud to know. She'll drop whatever she's doing for that glam gathering, a boost to her already high status.

Whatever.

Help? What help?

It's more like a coincidence that she has no tai tai business going on that she's home and it's convenient for me to leave ER with her.

I'm not upset.

I just want to bookmark this in case she starts using "her sacrificial help" to claim credit after I pass, or shame me if I fail.

世上的妈妈不是每个好。

Proud Mummy Moment

Not in this picture, but after this picture was taken, at AN's music class today, Miss Lim asked to listen to the kids perform one of their 2 chosen pieces individually.

Being strict as usual, she gave pointers for improvements after each of them performed.

When she came to AN, my heart started pounding as if I was the one being checked on (reminded me of when I used to be the one preparing for exams..)

And AN has performance anxiety. So I expected some slips, although she did spend time to practice everyday, and played well enough (by my standard. My expectation very low. hehe).

This afternoon, she was confident.

She knew she did well too because she smiled after she was done. Lol. Cheeky girl.

Miss Lim gave her a pat and "Good!" and asked her to play to the speed of the same song in the CD and that was all.

Keeping my fingers crossed she maintain this standard during the exam.

Treasure Hunt for Stories

AN had been testing my creativity.

It was play-acting serving and dining in a restaurant few days ago, and story telling and checking books in/out library on Friday night.

Last night AN asked me what it would be but we ended up sleeping earlier than usual because the kids were tired.

Today, I drew a map of daddy's room (that we have invaded in his absence. I've not had time to update that he's been away to Phoenix for the past week and back in 4 hours. Yeah!)

I hid 3 quotes from 3 stories. And "astrix-ed" where I hid them.

Each time AN found one, I'll read one of the 3 stories to see if she could match the quote to that story.

She already enjoys listening to stories and this made her more attentive than usual (at other times, she usually does her own analysis of the story out loud as I tell it). The searching for hints just spiced up her anticipation more.

My baby asked if we could do it again tomorrow.

Hehe.

I'm happy she enjoyed it.

Because I really have little ideas what we can do with a destructive little boy lurking in the background as we play, if our activities are not age-appropriate for him.

Today, AN engaged him in searching.

I'll do the treasure hunt game again. Probably, the next time round, we'll hunt for words to piece up to make a familiar sentence.

Like AN excitedly told me after the game: "I feel like Jake and the Neverland Pirates!"

Whatever makes her happy :)

"How can you learn this way!?"

I teach AN chinese characters for 听写 in groups of 3-4 at a time, depending on her familiarity of the word or difficulty.

AN mastered 3 and is still unsure of the rest.

The grandma was lying down to rest when AN went into her room just to be have someone near her while I was in the toilet.

AN showed her the words she's currently learning and I heard her "testing" AN. When she saw AN had a whole page of chinese characters, she exclaimed "哪里有人这样学听写的?! 哪里学的会!"

The whole page is to expose her to those words that will come later. For goodness sake.

I don't need you to criticize how I teach my daughter, in front of her!

With a grandma like that, no children will have respect for their mothers.

I HATE HER! FOR INSTILLING IN AN THAT DOUBT THAT MUMMY IS USING AN INEFFECTIVE METHOD TO TEACH HER.

Everyone has their way of coaching. Even if I'm teaching AN that way, she has no rights to criticize that method. She's not qualified by her level of education, and also by the fact that she isn't even familiar with Adrielle's capability and what's effective for her.

Shutup! SHUT UP!

Somebody.....please.help.me.

It's easier to not care

than to be constantly worry about stupid things like hygiene, health,upbringing, foundation for education, cleanliness.

why care? nobody else cares, why should I?

she entered a house and turned that house upside down.

now she has peacefully invaded this household.

like what she's always inculcating, I'm going to be just like her daughter. I'm going to work like money is the most important thing in the world.

heck what values, what upbringing, what love and peace.

it's going to be all about me, myself and I soon.

soon in my world, I am not going to care about everyone else.

it's going to take time and training. I'm in training now. the trainer is doing a good job.

I'm getting there. soon.

"Mummy, Play With Me"

AN pleaded for me to play with her. I was busy and asked her to wait.

She then lamented: "Mummy, you never play with me anymore."

I tried to defend myself but I realized I have no track records lately to prove that I do play with her, so I asked: "You sure?"

She thought about it and said that I play with ER but not with her.

We went into a discussion with me explaining that she look grumpy everytime I played with her and her retorting that she doesn't like to be tickled.

How I really wish she is still a baby.... Cuddling and teasing was enjoyment then, like it still is with ER.

I'm quite an idea-less person. But I don't want to disappoint my baby.

Last night, we opened a restaurant!

We renovated the restaurant, she decided where to setup the dining table (ER's potty with a lid), where to place the cash register and where kitchen should be.

We took turns at role-playing server and customer. ER was the baby of the 'customer' and he did well pretending to be a baby.

We ended with a "Family hug!" suggested by AN, all of us went: "cheese!" for some reasons. Then the little boy hurriedly scrambled to the table to grab my phone and suggested "mummy take picture!"

Lol!

That was fun!

I must remember to play with my kids more, the way they want me to.