Met a good old friend

AN craved for pumpkin seeds so we went to get some at an hour that we wouldn't usually shop at.

Was glad we did! Coz we bumped into 5U and William!

Omg! We've not met since 2008. That's 5 years.

The last time we arranged to meet at their place, either one of the kids fell sick (I think AN started throwing up and had fever the day before our date).

Must arrange again. That short chat at NTUC was not enough. Lol!

My first

Not as high an amount as we all expect. It's a co-broke, that's why. But that's a good start. This will probably all go into start-up (buy laptop, advertise etc).

That's providing there's no hiccups in between (hiccups such as hdb not approving the purchase, Co-broke agency refusing to acknowledge the transaction coz of mistakes in the forms etc).

Bye Nails

I'd very much love to get a manicure done and the last time I had one was before my wedding day in 2004.

Along came Baileys. And then Maen.

They were so tiny and fragile and their paw pads were smoother than my own skin back then. I couldn't keep my nails long because I do not want to poke or scratch them (but they do more damage to themselves when they fight...)

Nail polishes were impossible because I don't want them to lick me and get poisoned. Or risk bits of these polishes flaking off into their food without me knowing.

With human kids, it's the same.

I can tell when it's time to trim my nails when I see scratch marks on the little ones' body after I shower them.

AN looked like she got attacked by an animal yesterday after her shower. Disclaimer: I didn't attack her on purpose!

Today, these nails have to go.

Maybe when I do not need to shower them anymore, I can go for a manicure.

Or maybe I can get AN to do it for me (she's been asking me to go for one because she REALLY wants to see how it's done. She's been watching tutorials on YouTube and dying to try them on me.)

Paperwork Settled

Took me 1.5hrs to get to SLP office in Spring Singapore. Thank goodness I dont have to be in office everyday.

Submitted copies of whatever is required and met up with Alvin. 6 weeks to getting my license to represent clients!

He'll be my direct mentor.

I was shown a presentation of the company structure and its subsidiaries. Alvin assured me that everyone in SRI5000 (in which I'll join Alvin and Serena) are very willing to help us "new recruits" learn the ropes and be independent.

It's still like a dream. I still am stuck mentally at how helpless I felt when I had Chickenpox and couldn't take the exam in May. Up till now, I still cannot believe I passed my exam and am now awaiting CEA to grant me my license.

If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up.

I'm not dying to go to work and be away from my kids. I just don't want to wake up realizing that nothing I ever worked hard for bears ideal results. It always seems like I can never do anything well no matter how hard I tried.

Failure is so part of me that success always feels like a dream. And too often, success only happens in my dreams.

I don't aim for big bucks (although I wish out loud that I do whenever I feel bitter about all that happened). But I do wish that I can find satisfaction somewhere.

With some extra allowance, I could go for upgrading courses and then continue with my makeup services. And these extras should allow for more flexibility in what I plan to spend on that I don't feel comfortable doing now on only 1 salary.

To start off,  before CEA gives me the go-ahead, I'll be attending briefings and courses conducted by the bosses to network and learn.

I'll grab whatever I can so that hopefully unimportant people and memories fall through the gaps of my fingers.

Another step closer.

Another Step Completed

Photo taken.

I'll been going to the agency either tomorrow or Friday. Before that, I need to get a new number for work.

One step closer to independence.

Short hair

I like how this looks. Nice? :)

My Angels

My mum is always my greatest care giver when I'm in my worst of health.  (that's not to say Mr Liow isn't but he's not one who can differentiate between heaty ailments and cooling ones).

Even when she doesn't stay with us, she makes her way here to deliver chestnut drinks she started preparing since 4am every morning since Friday.   

And she offers to cancel whatever appointment she has to take care of the kids for us so that even Mr Liow could get some break.

Mr Liow had been picking them up from her when he wasn't working over the weekends and keeping the kids occupied.  The kids short-circuit his temper many times. Thanks dear for giving me that much rest time.  And for bearing with the Kids' nonsenseS.

I was lying down most of the time because my bottom hurt.  I cringed everytime I had to wipe myself after peeing. I couldn't sit. It was horrible.... Felt almost exactly like I had been stitched up after childbirth.

ER at this point, shouldn't still be nursing. It wasn't easy but he had learnt to ask for me to hug him tightly while he slept instead of "mem mem". He'll probably be weaned after this.

His little brains figured that since it was those bumps on my body that stopped me from nursing him, if those bumps vanished, he should be allowed to nurse again. So, he asked me to cover the bumps on my neck with my hair and face with my bangs. Then he victoriously declared: "Mummy, no more bumps!"

When that failed, he got me to check his body for bumpS by insisting he felt one. l did find one but it didn't look like a pox. When l admitted that was a bump , he frowned and pleaded: "Ethan has lots of bumps. Ethan needs "Mem mem". 

Didn't work, so he gave me a hard time before deciding that a hug to sleep was the best mum can afford to give now.

AN is another angel.

She had been updating me on my hideous appearance daily.

l look obviously frightening but she assured me that l wasn't. That she loves me even with those bumps.

And every morning, she'Il tell me l look better than the day before.

Well, my MIL, giving the reason: "反正我在家他也不要我", either goes out as usual or doesn't give a damn even when she's home.

My mum cancelled her appointment on Saturday just so we could rest. MIL was in such a convenient position to help but she had no such intentions.

Only when she heard me tell Mr Liow that my mum would help on Saturday did she suggest bringing AN and ER out herself to meet the nieces after AN's lesson yesterday.

Today is the same.

My mum will be coming to take ER to her home. MIL left home early before lunch. ER is none of her concern.

Tommorrow will be the same. My mum will help so that MIL can go out without feeling guilty.

What kind of a MIL is that? What kind of a grandma do my kids have?

l won't die without rest but the kids should keep a distance as much as possible.

After so many months and ER is still rejecting her. That just shows how much effort she makes in bonding with him.

* ROLLS EYES *

Chicken Pox

At 34 years old, I'm sitting for my first exam in over a decade.

Guess what?

I am showing signs of chickenpox too!

Really cannot describe my feelings now.

I won't be allowed to re-take my exam unless it's hospitalization, or on compassionate ground.

How? Sob.

Fever, Now?

Mildly high temperature at 37.6°c yesterday, so I left KFC earlier than usual.

Felt feverish whole of today, so I stayed home. ER didn't spare me; he stuck with me in the room from after lunch to dinner.

Today was wasted.

I'm 38.1°c now.

WHY??

Exam is this Saturday and Sunday. I've been fine this year. Till now.

Please.

It's one important target I have this year. I must fight a fair battle.

I will recover by tomorrow.

Time Alone

I'm enjoying some peace, walking to the coffeeshop to get dinner while Mr Liow tends to the kids.

The sun went hiding and it's breezy. Such a lovely walk.

I'm contented.

Who's This?

Mr Liow thinks I look like Tanya Chua. I didn't think so. Or probably there is some resemblance afterall?

P.s: This is Tanya Chua's picture by the way. Hehe.

Clumsy Landing

Haven't fallen for a long time and when I do, it has to make an impression.

Hurts. Ouch.

Sweet Girl

Ok, I'm not hospitalized this time. Thank God! Was really feeling terrible last night after throwing up twice and passing liquid stools. I was really fearful and couldn't stop praying. I took diamenate which is a way, put me into a state of hallucination. I drifted in and out of dreams and almost couldn't tell when ER was disturbed out of his sleep (he rolled out of his comfort zone).

Saw the GP this morning to get more meds. I'm hit by stomach virus so much I run out of such meds fast.

MIL was around, so she helped me with ER and housework. Am thankful for her help!

AN is my sweet sweet girl.

After having been 'tortured' by cranky ER who had no nap this afternoon but refused to sleep even though he was obviously tired, I lost my cool and shouted at him "No, we are not going outside!" He wanted to get out of the room.

AN was concerned and asked why I shouted "ouch". She thought I hurt myself.

I told her I lost my patience and raised my voice at ER but she was so sympathetic. She assured me that she could hear me coz she was in daddy's room and it's just next door, which was why she could hear. Not because I was loud.

My dear girl...

And because she knew I was unwell, she actually patted my back as I turned to nurse ER who FINALLY stopped resisting sleep.

I love how she patted me: soooo gentle, assuring and loving.

My girl is growing up and I love what she's turning into. I pray she continues growing up to be sweet, understanding and affectionate.

I told her I love her so so much and she replied: "Mum, I love you more than so so much."

I love you Adrielle, more than I can tell you.

Stomach Flu Again?

I had been tossing in bed but couldn't sleep. Didn't feel right. Been wondering if I should go pop some panadols for flu.

Then I got the urge to poop. What came out was liquid stools, afterwhich I threw up!

Oh no.......

Not again!

Sick

Mr Liow got his flu shot last week and ER started dripping mucus yesterday.

AN looked a little off weather today and she's sniffing a little.

Me? Was fine, till I suddenly started sneezing continuously after dinner and my nose hasn't stopped leaking since.

What's worse? ER had been tossing for 2 hours and is still not sleepy.

I'm extremely tired now, and extremely touchy!

Hate sickness.

ABHOR it!

I'm tired, sick and upset that I'm still not allowed to rest after a long day today.

And I've been hearing "I woke up at 5am this morning...so tired."

How about finally knocking out at 1am last night but waking up hourly to the baby with stuffed nose? And then waking up at 7am to attend the PTM, then rush to prepare the kids for the wedding lunch?

I know I sound unreasonable. It IS tiring for those who have gotten out of bed since 5am AND for me who's gotten hardly any sleep at all.

Just shows how cranky I really am now. I really cannot fall sick....please dont attack me........

And there's AN's music class tomorrow.

I can NOT fall sick........

Anyway, I'm giving ventolin together with Flixotide just twice a day since yesterday, just to prevent ER's bronchitis from acting up.

He can't suckle.....please do not choke and throw up tonight....

A Day Out

Mr Liow volunteered to take care of ER today so I could bring AN out. Just my daughter and I!
AN asked to do sand art, so off we went to Nex.

We got there at about 10.30am but realized the art stall opens AFTER 12pm. Having lots of time on hand, we went shopping.

It's hard to resist shopping for a girl. I got her leggings, a necklace and a magnetic dress up set. She was super hungry by then, so we went for prata! Timing was perfect, because she was hungry before starting on the art work. If it was the other way around, she probably would have missed lunch.



I had a great time with her and I think she did too. We laughed and joked and she hugged me as she walked. It was such a lovely afternoon together that I suddenly wished that she is my only child. I missed giving her all these attention.

While waiting to do the sand art, AN asked to check out the puppies at Pet Safari.

We walked through rows of BM's favorite treats. I told AN what we used to buy for them. And I saw a ceramic bowl that was perfect for keeping their spaniel ears out of their food and it was only $7.90.

I told AN of my find and she looked at me sympathetically, squeezing my hand that she had been holding and softly reminded me: "Mummy, Baileys and Maen are not with us anymore. Don't be sad, don't cry anymore ok?"

Her words of consolation made me feel like laughing and crying at the same time.

We were done by 3.30pm and AN was hungry again. We grabbed some finger food before heading home. She fell asleep on the bus.

I totally forgot about the little boy at home with his daddy while outside, but the moment I stepped in the house and saw that adorable smile and heard his enthusiastic exclamation: "MUMMY!", I melted.

I seriously wish I can divide myself so that they don't have to live with divided attention.

I love my little ones.

Praying Mantis?

I was clearing the toys without my glasses and almost dumped it into their toy bin. But it didn't feel familiar like any of their toys. To think I actually held it between my fingers

*shudders*

ER looked at me admiringly like I was some hero when he smiled and asked: "what's zat?", pointing to that bug I was holding.

I am not a hero.

I'm just myopic.

*sob*

My mum, my daughter and I

We were having dinner yesterday my parents' place.

I was helping AN cool her porridge and mum was scooping fried onions into mine.

I noticed mum scoop without draining the oil and I complained that I didn't want so much oil in my food. Then I turned to my complaining daughter who said she didn't want something in the porridge.

It must have been comical to watch how a mum and a daughter behaves in each other's presence, no matter how old they already are.

Lol!

5 More Days: When all the stars line up

...........

All urgent matters happen at the same time.

I had to settle some legal issues (will share later) and had to check for details.

Little tiger refused to let me go during their nap. When he finally did, AN woke up. She's no trouble maker, so I managed to still dig into my files. But I couldn't find what I thought I remembered was in there.

I switch on the iMac (which I hate because it senses urgency and hangs on me when they are reputed to never hang. To iMac: I really hate you, and I think you hate me too.)

Then, little tiger woke up.

He starts meddling with my keyboard, wants my mouse, screams when I told him no.

My little helper AN helped distract him with books but he didn't stay distracted long enough. He walked about, turning my wifi off, opening up playdough bottles and poured them millions of tiny pieces out. AN found something that caught his attention again, and he left his messy mission for a while.

Then I couldn't log into my email, my passwords were all wrong, I had to wait for wifi to come back and got one call after another (which I selectively answered. No time.)

While struggling with the iMac, AN announced: "Mummy, his mucus dripped onto the cards!"

Argh!

But my girl saved me by wiping his constantly dripping nose.

Then, "Mummy! He pooped!"

Argh! What next?

I had no time to change him and prayed hard his diapers do not leak.

And that little boy is a terrorist who takes his sister's kindness for granted, so I constantly hear her complaining that he hit her, snatched stuff and such. But my sweet girl let his meanness pass and continued to entertain him shortly after each fight.

I finally got things going and realized dinner wasn't in the pot! I had to rush out dinner, but thank God, AN's dinner request was fairly simple: Mac and Cheese.

And while cooking the animal-shaped pasta, I realized I had clothes in the washing machine I hadn't hung up to dry. Before I can hang them up, I had to take existing clothes off the drying poles.

Water boiling, sauce would be ready soon, kids fighting and making up, ER removing things from my drawers and flooding kitchen floor with them.

Then a call came in to say she doesn't receive my email.

-_____-"

I asked her to wait a little. Maybe the server was a little slow. My smartphone is left with 1 bar of battery but allowed me to check the email which I cc-ed to myself from Mr Liow's email. I received it, so she should too.

Finally, the kids are eating. And food tastes yummy, except that I forgot to make my own.

Sigh.......

Nevermind.

I hope rush hour is over for now. I hope the lined up stars have gone their separate ways...

What I Love

Spicy food, the spicier the merrier!

But my kids don't take my level of spiciness.

AN takes prata with curry, tolerates 933 curry chicken bun and some others. At ER's age, AN loved sambal belachan kang kong. Not anymore.

ER takes a wee bit of chilli in my fishball noodles.

That's about all. We're in the midst of training them. No food taste good enough without chilli la.

If you see me having lunch without my kids, you can be very sure the food in my bowl look red hot at least, even if it doesn't taste that. And I don't get to eat without my kids often. Argh!

Kids, you have to start taking spicy food so mummy can share them with you!