Sleeping on my belly

ER behaves a lot like Maen. Maybe because he's still young. Maen is like a little girl who never grows up. She is lovely that way.

She loved to sleep on my head and rest her head on my neck after Mr Liow left for work in the past. He wouldn't allow them on the bed but they knew I loved sleeping with them.

Baileys' favorite spot is between my legs. He rests his head on my belly and snuggles the rest of his body tucked nicely between my thighs.

ER had been sleeping on my belly lately. It used to be random and I didn't notice when he started getting used to it and by now, I'll his pillow.

This felt like the times I had with Baileys. I could imagine it was Baileys and not ER.

The only difference is, ER faces up at the ceiling as he lies on my belly but Baileys will be looking at me.

The mystery of time travel. If only my mind is strong enough to take me back, I said I wouldn't have brought the furkids home.

But I also long to go back to when I was their pillow. When Baileys was my trusted buddy and Maen, my shadow.

Where should I start visiting?

Bye Nails

I'd very much love to get a manicure done and the last time I had one was before my wedding day in 2004.

Along came Baileys. And then Maen.

They were so tiny and fragile and their paw pads were smoother than my own skin back then. I couldn't keep my nails long because I do not want to poke or scratch them (but they do more damage to themselves when they fight...)

Nail polishes were impossible because I don't want them to lick me and get poisoned. Or risk bits of these polishes flaking off into their food without me knowing.

With human kids, it's the same.

I can tell when it's time to trim my nails when I see scratch marks on the little ones' body after I shower them.

AN looked like she got attacked by an animal yesterday after her shower. Disclaimer: I didn't attack her on purpose!

Today, these nails have to go.

Maybe when I do not need to shower them anymore, I can go for a manicure.

Or maybe I can get AN to do it for me (she's been asking me to go for one because she REALLY wants to see how it's done. She's been watching tutorials on YouTube and dying to try them on me.)

Nice Warm Water

Been swimming with the kids for the past 2 days (AN went 4 days in a row since Saturday) and by now both love the water.

AN had been swimming in the deep pool for 3 days and the baby pool no longer speaks to her.

She splashes her way around and doesn't fear even if she's away from the side of the pool (under supersivion of course! She cannot swim and is only learning to keep herself alive for as long as possible as of now).

She has learnt to float on her back and it's a life saver. If she ever falls into the pool or finds herself too far from help, she can float to breath before swimming back to safety. She can track quite well too (tiring but she likes to do that). Her strokes are erm....just enough to bring her somewhere. Work on that as we go along.

ER feared the water for a long time (both my kids started off fearing water, even when showering -___-"). He wouldn't even step into the baby pool without us (which is not such a bad thing. One can only drown once, right?)

But as he watches AN splash around, dipping in and out from the surface of the pool, he is inspired.

We did a "group dunk" when we all hold our breath and dipped our heads into the water to blow bubbles. ER held his breath. He'll learn. hehe.

And watching AN float effortlessly on her back made him want to try that too. He lies on his back but his body stiffens up and he sinks because he wasn't totally flat on his back. hehe. He's loosening up though (as little).

I like the water the last 2 days I brought them there.

The water has always been COLD. That first time I went swimming, I shivered every single minute, even when I was underwater. I didn't get used to the temperature of the water. It was almost freezing cold and the strong winds blowing along the tunnel back and forth at the pool didn't warm me up.

I gave up joining up in the pool for the next 9 months.

Water was warm and nice on Monday (Sunday too, according to daddy) and I went in to swim with them (ER was happy coz he could imitate AN while clinging onto me for safety).

No swimming today (for the sake of my hair and AN's. hehe). Kids need better goggles because the one AN has doesn't cushion around her eyes well. They either fall off when loosened or leaves 2 big swollen rims around her eyes after swimming.

I still want to put them in swimming classes. Effectively, AN still cannot swim. They both just do not fear the water anymore.

p.s. (negative rant)
ER was excited when he told her "Nai nai I can swim. I not scared of water."

She was watching TV and spared him little attention with eyes fixed to her show.

After ER repeated several times those same words, she replied in frustration: "我听不懂你讲什么啦!“.

So encouraging.

And this same woman criticised me for losing my patience with him when he screams alien language during tantrums. She criticised me for not listening to them and said that I am unreasonable.

She doesn't even HEAR him when he speaks clearly to her. But she has the cheeks to jump at me for getting upset at him when I have to deal with the screaming kid who's not speaking human.

So cool right?

I KNOW "SHE'S LEAVING SOON". You can stop reminding me that. Instead, tell her over and over again to stop throwing stones at me till she's blameless herself.

The same one who tells my daughter that I'm messy with their clothes do not have keep her own wardrobe space neat and tidy herself.

The same one who got chased out of her daughter's house has the cheeks to gossip that my mum gets upset with me for being too harsh with the kids (yet my relationship with my mum is still going strong, unlike hers with her daughter's).

The same one who rolls her eyes at how unreasonable I am with my kids during their hissy fits used to slap the nieces on their cheeks and cane them so hard the teacher had to call up their mother (her daughter) to ensure there hadn't been any child abuse going on at home.

I am unreasonable but I love my children. I am doing my best and I do not need criticism from someone who cannot even set her own records straight.

"LEAVING SOON" gives her no rights to tell my kids "mummy doesn't love you if you misbehave'.

I have to continually undo potential damage she causes and assure them that I love them even when I'm angry at their misbehavior.

Anger DOESN'T EQUAL lack of love.

I THOUGHT SHE'S VERY WISE AND KNOWS EVERYTHING AFTER THAT COUNSELLING COURSE? IF THAT IS SO, CAN I ASSUME SHE DELIBERATELY TOLD MY KIDS I DO NOT LOVE THEM WHEN THEY DO NOT BEHAVE???????

What other excuse do you have for her this time? Still that she doesn't know what she's saying?

She's leaving. So what?

Diaperless

Wrote his teachers a note in his green book informing that he would be in underwear from now on.

He's in underwear at home now and doing relatively well with only occasional accidents.

He'll still be in training pants when we're out though. The lines at restrooms can be intimidating to a trainee underwear-er.

He was still in underwear when I fetched him this afternoon.

Miss Cindy said he refused to pee in the toilet and needed some coaxing. Eventually he did his business in the toilet twice after that.

He's improving. No accidents today!

I must thank his teachers for their attention. Like what Linda said, it's probably a blessing he's still in the PG class because teacher-student ratio is low.

But I thought he's regressing in speech and behavior.

Still for now, I'm thankful he's improving in his toileting skills.

Achievements

ER
He appeared to have acrophobia. Or maybe not. I can't tell.

He refused to go across narrow beams and wobbly nets that are hung from level 2 and above at indoor playgrounds. He even asks to be carried when we cross bridges to get to the other side of the road.

He says: "It's so dangerous!"

That makes me wonder if he had phobia of heights.

But he's Ok looking down from high places and walking up stairs. Just not across them.

AN is a cool sister. She continued running across the fearsome elevated narrow beams and wobbly nets,  encouraging him to follow her.

He would always refuse but last Friday, he took his first step over the narrow beam. AN was so excited she shouted for me to look at ER take tiny but quick
steps to get to the other side.

He attempted the wobbly net too.

Soon these no longer posed any challenge to him and he was all over the playground with AN and their new friends.

Told AN that she gave him the best birthday present anyone could give him. She helped him conquer his fear of height (at least over these 2 obstacles). Boys need to be brave and she helped him find the courage.

Told her that it wasn't something that anyone can buy for him. She was very excited to hear that she gave ER such an impressive gift. Hehe.

AN
She used to fear water. She didn't like water running down her face when I washed her hair. She wouldn't dunk her head into water.

Weekly swims (on less hectic weeks she got more than one swim a week) didn't exactly help much.

Peer motivation did!

Each time she went to the pool with Gwenda or Eugenia, she would push a little further (she started dipping her face into water, swimming in the deep pool with the float etc).

She met Gwenda for a swim earlier today and both girls jumped into the deep pool.  Horrified,  I couldn't blink. I was ready to pull AN to the side and I imagined her to gasp and struggleher way up to the surface.

But she did not struggle a single bit.

In fact she looked as though she could swim.

Omg...... that was like a miracle. Linda said AN didn't look like she can't swim. At that moment I agree.

She was tracking water steadily (where did that come from??) And she kicked herself away from the side of the pool. She turned to her back and floated effortlessly.

She tried swimming like Gwenda but from there, one can tell AN couldn't swim. She didn't do proper styles. But she paddled and got around nonetheless.

I was beyond amazed

That splashing around with Gwen totally destroyed her fear of water. So much that she could waddle around confidently.

2  achievements. One each.

I'm amazed with my mouth wide open.

We're so going swimming again tomorrow after school. Forget the nap. Hehe.

I want to watch AN with my mouth wide open again tomorrow.

Heartbroken? Part 2

Part 2

He refused school yesterday. . 

Miss Sue, AN's form teacher, is one of the teachers ER likes to mingle with. She brought him in crying as I left them. He wasn't happy leaving with her this time. 

I met her at the door in the afternoon when I went to pick them.

She said she spent a long time coaxing him. He refused to go join his classmates in the playroom during breakfast time. When it was time for Miss Sue to return to AN's classroom, Miss Angeline came to take him in and he willingly left with her. He bounced his way into the playroom happily.

Miss Sue jokingly complained that he bullied her.  Hehe. 

In our chat, she said he likes to play with that few kids. One of them was Ansa.

I was surprised to hear that and told her that he beat her on Monday! 

Miss Sue laughed and said children have this love-hate thing between them that lasts for no longer than an hour. 

She said that she heard ER tell Ansa few days ago: "I love you. I want you to be my girlfriend."

Ansa's reply was "I cannot love you. I can only love my mummy."

Omg. Sounds cute. 

But I think Miss Sue added in the "be my girlfriend" part. It has never in our conversation or shows they watch.I don't think the word "Girlfriend" is even in his vocabulary yet.

He probably told her he loves her (he's generous with his "I love you-s" when he's in a good mood.)

That leaves me wondering if he felt offended and because she refused to return his love, he didn't want her as a friend anymore. 

Hmm...

I asked him and he coldly replied: "Ansa is not my friend".

When I asked about Ayden, he smiled and acknowledged: "Yes! Ayden is my friend!". Rayden is a friend too when I asked. Just not Ansa.

Does he prefer to play with guys? It's going to be a few more months before he gets to join the boys in the bigger kid class :(

Sigh.....

One more child to decode. 

AN was MUCH milder (and behaved even better in school than at home). The only problem with her is that she is TOO talkative and constantly distracted.

I've come to realise that as much as I spend time talking to AN about boys, dating and marriage, I must not neglect ER too. 

There will come a time when he will have to handle rejection from new friends and girls.

I pray that he'll learn to take things in his stride. Like a man.

Heartbroken? Part 1

Miss Suzanna informed me that ER beat a friend 3 times on separate occasions on Monday. Needles to say, I was mortified! 

She said he was probably tired and suggested I ask him why he did that. She said she didn't exactly see the commotion before he striked and didnt want to wrongly accuse him. I wanted to tell her that ER had complained about being beatened by Naja for a couple of weeks and that he probably picked up that behaviour in defense. 

But that is lousy explanation for being an attacker regardless.

I found out that it was the same classmates by the name of Ansa whom he laid hands his hands on., all the 3 mentioned times.

AN later corrected me when I told him good boys do not fight in class: Ansa is a girl. 

Why haven't I thought of that. He's the only boy in his class....

My son beat a girl.

*horror*

I had to keep reminding him constantly on Tuesday and yesterday that he's Superman. Superman is a hero who protects others. Reminded him too that if Ansa or whoever does something mean, he should let his teacher know. 

AN helped me show ER how a victim feels to beaten.  She pretended to cry when I hit her and then I asked ER: "Is jie jie in pain? Is she sad?"

He was empathetic and comforted my little actress.

Each time I asked him if it was right to beat anyone, he heroically replied that its bad.

He has in fact,  been very rough with AN the past few weeks himself, even as he disagreed with me going physical with AN.

I really hope it's a passing phase but I will not let that go without correction.