Joy is Like the Rain

"I saw clouds upon a mountain, Joy is like a cloud.

Sometimes silver, sometimes gray, Always sun not far away.

Joy is like a cloud."

I claim to find joy in my role a a mum but there have been countless time I feel so....restricted by my duties, and unhappy.

It doesn't make sense to me that I'm looking to see if I can have both kids attend school with short hours so that I can spend time with them but when they are with me, I keep my fingers crossed and pray the day will be as friction-free as possible. Because when we do not agree with each other (mostly AN and I. The little one is still a bundle of joy), I am tested. And yes, life IS better without friction, won't you agree? Am I asking for trouble then, by wanting more time with the one whom I struggle with more?

So, am I happy or do I hate what I'm doing now? I know I enjoy being with my kids and around for them, but how do I explain it well enough to myself so that I can encourage myself to not give up on challenging days?

The Lord sang me this song we used to sing during primary school :)

Sometimes silver, sometimes gray. But the sun is never far away. I face good and bad days, and yes, the fact is, I love my kids and want to be a nurturing mum. The point is, my love for them will never be far away. I They are my joy!

I can keep going, by the grace of God.