Herbivores

My bad, my kids are both herbivores. They don't hate meat, just that they have preference for greens, but greens have no protein. Thus they cannot wean off milk!

Many Faces of the Little Tiger

My chou baby (I call him that and he calls his sister that. Funny, lol!)

Monkey See, Monkey Eat

I offer him biscuits but he goes "no".

I offer AN the same and she happily starts chomping on them.

He sees AN eating biscuits and gets inspired enough to ask: "eat eat um!"

AN must have made these simple biscuits look delicious!

Telepathy

Almost forgot to post this:

I was settling the kids in bed for afternoon nap one Saturday and Mr Liow was outside (for foot reflex I think). All of a sudden, I craved for Gong Cha but didn't have access to my phone so I couldn't sms him to help me get.

Hours later, he came home, with my Gong Cha!

hehe.

Muacks, dear. Thanks for hearing my inner thoughts when I couldn't speak.

Translation

AN leant about the millipede. And another creature that she could exactly remember. She said it has many legs like the millipede. Not a caterpillar though.

Then she went: "It's the 中间 (center) pede!"

That was a funny way of remembering a centipede!

Random Solid Toys to Bed

Kids love to hug soft, cushy toys to bed. Even AN does, although she doesn't have a particular favourite.

ER, my funny boy, has a penchant for solid, hard items that he enjoys holding before he falls asleep.

He has held cars, big bulky books, a box, balls and his favourite is his water bottle.

So Unglam

She was so tired she fell asleep in less than 5 seconds of silence and remained fast asleep as the little tiger walked all over and around her.

And she was so tired that her body made a flip but her limbs couldn't follow suit.

So unglam! Lol!

So Tired

Little boy was so tired he stood up in the car and fell asleep. Funny boy!

HATE SELFISH PEOPLE (PART 2)

I'm not finished.

Some selfish comments are just too extraordinary to forget:

One more:

Photo taking time!

We took a picture together first (Mr Liow, me and our kids. 4 of us.)

Then he waved to our folks to join us for the second photo.

Empress sarcastically joked: "We are family too? I thought you only want your own picture of the 4 of you." And she laughed.

There was an awkward silence. The guys then went "uhhh......" To break that moment of awkwardness...

Empress must go first. Too bad, she only acts like one, but not respected as one.

Here's another:

Since my parents were going to Chinatown to see the lightup, Empress also got interested. She casually suggested (while mum and I were packing and her, just yakking away): "Maybe after YJ comes back from his soccer game this evening, YOU (she wants me to TELL him when it's her own wish...make me the bad guy?) ask him to drive us there too."

My mum then replied that it would be crowded. Difficult to drive in there for sure. I too commented that driving in will be near impossible but we can take the NEL there. She then gave a disgusted look and went: "So hot and stuffy. If go by foot, I rather not go." And she walked in to refrigerate her bobochacha without a second word.

Such spoilt behavior.....

I wanted to rant to Mr Liow but I see no more need to. I don't want to sicken him with my constant negativity towards her but I really am sicken by how highly she thinks of herself, deservingly.

I would still let the kids bond with her of course. She is grandma. I just wish AN will stop behaving bossy and obnoxious like her after all these 'bonding'

Even AN tells me: "Nai nai keeps scolding the auntie. The auntie very stupid and slow."

What bad influence! I told AN that auntie has endless things to do and clean. AN replied yes, and that auntie cannot finish everything so soon.

I hate the way AN behaves at tones because I see her unreasonable behaviors in my baby.

It is hate.

Very detrimental to my relationship with AN, I know. But how??

HOW?

Warning!! Rant Alert: HATE SELFISH PEOPLE

We had a birthday celebration for ER with our parents and ministry yesterday.

The kids had fun as usual: the running after each other, stacking of blocks, dispensing of drinks on vending machine and all.

Food left at the end was in abundance when my initial worry was that it may not be enough. I ordered for almost 10 pax less than invited (because I was worried about too much leftovers like everytime.)

I think it's just tradition that no matter how little food you prepare, it will always be too much.

Pictures are with daddy. Will upload after I grab them from his phone.

After the lunch, the guys had a soccer match. Seeing that majority of them were leaving, my mum started asking if anyone wanted to pack some food home. No one went for the offer though.

While my mum and I were outside packing, Mr Liow's mum came out with her usual bossy attitude and suggested: "你不会叫你朋有带点回加吗?" (wont you ask your friends to bring some food home?)

Obviously, we did. She was watching tv and behaving anti-social as usual then.

I told her no one wanted the food (I took 3 seconds to answer her because I intended to ignore her).

All while we were packing, she was walking about, commenting that I ordered too much (ya, talk talk talk....like she very smart!), that I didn't order fried chicken (she said: "you should order fried chicken. I like fried chicken", to which I replied that most guests won't want to get their fingers dirty especially since most came with kids! They need to quickly finish and need clean hands to help their kids. Who cares that u like fried chicken, but I didn't tell her that last sentence....)

She repeatedly suggested: "must pack the bobochacha! It's very nice." I ignored the repeated suggestion. Mum and I were busy! She just stood there talking all the time.

Mum then asked if I have containers for food with sauces. I did and took some out. For once, the all-talk-no-action one helped to rinse the containers.

Then she came out, took her bobochacha, and went back in. She did not help with anything else.

ALL SHE CARED ABOUT WAS HER BOBOCHACHA! How selfish!

She then asked my mum to bring food home but my parents wanted to go out. She then sneered: "Ordered so much food but so few guests. Your mum should help bring some home..."

I was really tempted to retort her! SHUT UP, JUST GO INSIDE AND WATCH YOUR TV SINCE IT'S BELOW YOUR LEVEL TO HELP! I'm so good at self control here. I kept quiet. My mum not her maid!

Late at night before Joan and Phillip left, Joan actually helped me wash a basin full of dishes while Mr Liow's mum read her papers and TV tuned to her channel. ER was making noise, AN was feeling cranky (no nap) and I felt bad Joan was doing my dishes.

I loudly asked Joan (so that the empress could hear me), to leave the dishes there. Joan didn't mind helping. But MIL couldn't care less. She was in her own peaceful little world.

Can you believe people like these actually exists?

I still am amazed everytime I watch her. She no rich tai tai. Does she really think she's higher class than everyone else?

She was even ashamed when her facebook location showed "Seletar Hill Estate" and asked if Mr Liow could edit that. So shameful that it's not Cambridge Road instead... Soooooo shameful that she was in a HDB flat in cheapo sengkang.

I'm so ashamed of her.

Ear Wax

This is one of the few things that I do despite baby books recommending not to: I dig my kids ears.

ER saw me doing it with AN couple of months back and wanted to have his ears dug too. He couldn't keep still back then, so I pretended to dig.

This time, he saw me digging my own ears and pleaded: "dig ears!"

He volunteered to lie down immediately, so I started to pretend again.

He laid down really still and I saw wax inside, so I dug a little further than usual (usual = outside the ear). This boy loved the session so much he didn't move an inch.

I did both ears and he kept asking for more, lying down without any movements besides his mouth, asking for more.

I showed him his wax, and did all sorts of wierd things to get him to forget about the digging.

In pic: My baby's wax over 2 years, other than those which fell over time.

The Frog Prince

They are my least favourite creature. In fact, they rank the same as lizards in my preference.

Somehow, my least favorite creatures seem to appear around me quite often.

Thank God we are not living on ground floor *snigger*.

A Blessing in disguise.

What's a Birthday Without Birthday Song?

A Simple Candle Blowing Evening

The Birthday Boy
 

Happy 2 years old with his loving sister
 

The bad about having a sister for a boy: She turns him into a girl by giving him a "special hello kitty hat because it's his birthday!"
 

The good: his sister repeatedly reminded us to get a cake and sets it up for him..


Finally, the family
 

He went straight for his sister's hair accessories after the birthday song.

We love you Ethan, even with the hairband on your head, but no, it does not look good on you.

Blessed Second!

You are 2, baby! I can't believe it.

One moment you were crawling and now, you are sprinting!

You are my bundle of joy and recently a bit more of terror as well. It's typical of this age and I'll just wait for it to be over soon. I want to enjoy your original cheekiness more!

Blessed birthday baby. Your jie jie loves you, daddy and mummy loves you too.

The world is a complicated place. I pray you will be spared the most extreme and that the Lord will lead you through the common complications. You will grow up a righteous man, sensitive to the Lord's calling.

What I Love

Spicy food, the spicier the merrier!

But my kids don't take my level of spiciness.

AN takes prata with curry, tolerates 933 curry chicken bun and some others. At ER's age, AN loved sambal belachan kang kong. Not anymore.

ER takes a wee bit of chilli in my fishball noodles.

That's about all. We're in the midst of training them. No food taste good enough without chilli la.

If you see me having lunch without my kids, you can be very sure the food in my bowl look red hot at least, even if it doesn't taste that. And I don't get to eat without my kids often. Argh!

Kids, you have to start taking spicy food so mummy can share them with you!

Inhaler Instructions

Treatment for current bronchitis relapse (after completing 1st 4 days of nebulising)

Ventolin: 2 puffs every 4-6 hours (for 1-2 weeks or till wheezing ends)

Flixotide: 2 puff 2 times daily till 7th December appointment.

September - October: start ventolin (2 puffs every 4-6 hours in addition to Flixotide) the moment ER COUGHS

November - December: start ventolin (2 puffs every 4-6 hours in addition to Flixotide) the moment ER PANTS

ER at 2 Year Old

Baby boy likes to ask questions:

"what chu doing?" (What are you doing?)
"where you going?"
"are you ok?"
"wat ahpen?" (what happen?)
"what zat" (what's that?).
"where zit?" (where is it?)
"where eee go?" (where did 'insert object' go?)
"zit painfoo?" (is it painful?)
"what zis?" (what's this?)
"You see zat?" (Do you see that?)

He's quite a chatterbox. We don't always understand his language but we get by if we observe him hard enough. He usually speaks and acts out his requests.


He's a drama baby

"Argh! So painfoo! OUCH!". All that dramatic exclamations because the tag from behind his t-shirt scratched him.

"UH! OH NO!"
Because mummy dropped a table cloth onto the floor.

"Sowee! Are you ok? Zit painfoo?" (Sorry, are you ok? Is it painful?"
He accidentally stepped on my toes.

"Argh!!!"
Just to warn us about his idea of something dangerous.

Runs hurriedly and jumps into us cupping his ears: "Listen! You hear zat?"
A plane just flew past.


He's also learning to take instructions with repetition. It helps when he recognises what it means to wait (but I have to keep my promise that waiting means he gets to do it, but later. Different from 'No'.)

I love how he'll pick stray items from the floor as he passes them by, and  puts them back where they belong, or into the table.

He's feeling better now. And when he's well, he's irresistibly cute (in his mummy's books at least).

There are also terrible times. He's still learning afterall, and definitely not eloquent yet.

I'm soaking up his innocent cute-ness while it lasts. AN is already maturing in thoughts. Someday ER will too, and by then, I'll only get to envy others who are struggling with their 2 year olds.

The Daddy

I've not mentioned the most important role taken up by the most important person during my absence:

Daddy

He had the toughest time among us.

Morning:

He drove to and from the hospital to keep me company (and to escape from the jungle back home temporarily, regain his sanity before returning to the screaming toddler and energy-packed 5 year old.)

I'm noting the obvious here: he sent me in, settled my admission, did my discharge and sent me home. We had lunch before stepping into the house on the day of discharge.

Noon:

He goes back to help them nap. Thank God falling asleep in the afternoon wasn't much of a chore.

Evening:

He returned to keep me company. I enjoyed it. It felt like we were dating again. Hehe.

Night:

The most horrifying of all horrors.

Daddy carried the toddler, read to him, rocked him, offered pacifier, water, Ipad, handphone. Anything the little boss wants, Daddy tried to give.

Finally, little boss is sleepy! And we thought that was good, but he started screaming for mummy and "mem mem".

When he wants mummy, HE WANTS MUMMY.. Poor daddy couldn't do anything, except carry him through his screams, till he dozed off.

The little boss took 2 hours to give daddy a good time, rested for an hour to recharge before unleashing his fury against daddy again for as long as he could. The cycle of recharging and releasing his energy carried on till dawn when MIL was awake (on Sat) or till my mum came over (on Sun) to take over so that he could finally rest before making an escape to the hospital.

And in the middle of their the first night without me, ER's cries woke AN and brought about her urge to pee. Mr Liow had to juggle a screaming toddler and urgent 5 year old.

hehe. So funny (sorry dear, it does tickle. Hahaha!)

He now cringes at mere mention of putting ER to bed.

Lol!

It is frankly not an easy task putting a young child to bed unless one does that nightly. I too, can only tuck mine in and have no confidence with others. I can try, but I'd probably end up struggling with a very upset child and not sleeping too.

Mr Liow did a fantastic job! Although ER didn't accept any of daddy's substitution of me those 2 nights, he actually preferred his water bottle to me the first night I came back.

On my first night back, after falling asleep, ER was confused, had nightmares, during which he actually appeared awake, visibly upset and threatened me: "I beat you!" and he did walk over to me a couple times and beat me... I'm left wondering if MIL had been threatening him while daddy was away visiting me! *heartache* this is something I've never, ever experienced from him! I can't even trust his paternal grandma??? Let's just assume she had been trying to discipline him, not venting her frustration or easily provoked anger on him.

Reminder to self: Stay positive.

During those commotions, he cried dreamily for daddy and water.

My turn to struggle with him, but I was happy to hear him ask for daddy especially!

I'm glad they bonded in my absence.

Daddy has to be credited for his efforts at entertaining the kids, the sleepless nights, the rushing between places, tolerating insensitive remarks and more that I can't exactly name at this point.

He could have shut himself in the other room and hide with AN as I struggled with ER that night (finally the ball is not in his court!), but he didn't. He kept coming out to check on us and kept me company till ER calmed down.

ER woke up screaming a few times that night, and daddy came to help just as often.

I am thankful for you dear. I just have not mentioned it enough.

Thanks for setting aside work to settle the kids despite the busy schedule back in the office.

If ever any strong virus or venomous bugs has to attack any of us again, I'll gladly be the victim again.

Lol!

But I know you rather be the one relaxing in hospital the next time.

Love you dear.

Battle of the Will Part 2

Tolerance level dips when one doesn't get enough rest. It's true.

When I'm not battling with a 2 year old, I'm battling with a 5 year old. Sometimes, both battles happen concurrently.

This morning, AN wanted "princess hairstyle". Since beginning this year, I stopped tying her hair that way for school. It is not an acceptable style for primary school and, call me Kiasi, I just want her to get used to it early.

But she gets whatever hairstyle she wants during weekends, and for today, because she was going for an "Arabian Night" play, I agreed.

"Princess hairstyle" can get messy, so I told her I'll improvise a little. It's minor.....BUT SHE GOT UPSET.

I didn't take it as well as I usually would. I could have re-tied it the usual way but I walked away. She can take the rubberband out and go to school looking like a crazy girl.

I always fail such testing of patience during sleepless periods. Let's not talk about daytime when sleep is only when I'm too sick to even stand. Since I came back on Sunday, I get, on average of 4 hours of shuteye in 24hours.

I'm not complaining. It's just that lack of sleep does make one crankier than usual.

So, I'll go recharge a little more before ER wakes up or till the next neb at 9am. I'm not looking forward to him waking early for this period. We'll start the 'Rise-n-Shine-@-8am" schedule after he recovers.

Eating Again

It's back to normal. Normal for ER is small appetite and tiny meals with milk in morning and before bedtime. Eating little feels so trivial now that he's no longer throwing up, or even gagging.

So, he had been unable to eat, not unwilling to eat for the past 2-3 weeks. Bad mummy misread his signs.

He's drinking milk again, ready for more with each scoop till he slows down, indicating he's almost full. He's accepting meals we offer too.

What's more, he shows interest in snacking. He points to whatever snacks he sees on the table and goes "um! Eat!" and eats them offered. He doesn't eat a lot, maybe a coupe of bits, but that is bonus for me. I'm more than contented.

But he's still not a strong chewer this food accumulates in his mouth. I learnt from a friend that I can wait for him to outgrow this. And from AN, this its true.

I'm happy the way it is improving!

Thank God for the change!

Battle of Will Power

ER will be two years old in a few days. His package includes: improved speech, higher level of independance (not usually the type that benefits me), a stronger sense of will and need to make choices (he chooses which breast he wants to latch onto, switches from "this side" to "this side" and gets upset when both sides are wrong sides. Baby, I have only 2 "sides"), the ability to excel at imitating us, expressiveness, etc.

Sadly, it includes constant Bronchitis as well. This doesn't go away with age. Neither does it go away with constant exposure to viruses because Bronchitis doesn't go away with a trained system. Instruction to mummy by the PD, is to conscientiously protect him from unnecessary exposure to triggers (be that allergy or viruses).

ER doesn't get flu or the common cold often. He gets Bronchitis, even during this stupid haze where others start having runny nose and cough. HE GETS THEM TOO BUT WORSE! HE HAS DIFFICULTIES BREATHING.

I'm still a little breathless and weak myself after the weekend at Mt A. My appetite is picking up. My energy level should pick up soon. My doctor's advise to me is to rest a lot. How to? Daddy tries to help but it only worsens the situation. It's Mr Two Years Old's choice, not ours.

The frequency of the nebulising (4 hourly) means I do not have even the luxury of enough sleep at night (preparation takes time, as with trying to fall asleep after that, provided he doesn't wake up to torment me like he had been doing).

I am never one with strong will power but I realised this comes with motherhood. Motherhood itself is a new level of power.

I would have fainted from all these physically challenging scenerios if it was years ago. Now, all that I feel is the need to rant.

What am I ranting about exactly?

I also don't know. Lol. I just feel very noble at this point and wonder how more strong can I be when all I used to think of myself was that I was a weakling.

Can non-mums do what I am doing now?

Mothers deserve a special Mother's day tribute. Sadly, it only takes a mother to fully appreciate the value of another mother's sacrifice.

P.s: this post is not to put down fathers. I just feel noble, and sleepless.

Coughing

ER's bronchitis is back. We went back to Dr Lee yesterday and ER had to be nebulized again. The haze affected his breathing so badly there was no time for the inhaler to work on Sunday. By night, he was panting, worsened by some nightmares which made him scream and cry.

Looking at how ER's body is still unable to tolerate a hazy period, Dr Lee decided not to reduced Flixotide dosage like originally advised. She was optimistic about recovery after 3 months of Flixotide treatment initially. Now we may have too stretch.

How much to give, how long more to puff him, Dr Lee will advise after this episodE.

AN is coughing too. No other signs yet and hoping there there won't be.

We need to review ER's panting this Friday.

What an expensive week....

Inhaler Note For Bronchitis Relapse

Regular dosage:

Ventolin: 2-4 puffs 3 times daily

Flixotide: 2 puffs 3 times daily

Rescue dosage (panting that doesn't reduce after regular dosing):

Ventolin: 4 puffs every 4 hourly

Flixotide: to be advised

Memories of My Retreat at Mount Alvernia

Upon admission and then checkout


Because my blood pressure was low, I was not allowed to move around much. I wouldn't want to anyway. I have to push my drip and stand around. I obediently stayed in bed :)


One of my enjoyable moments in Mt A each time I 'holiday' there, is the wait for food. This time a little different. I can only eat light and soupy food.


I didn't expect to be engorged till I finally felt it. By then, I couldn't clear a single but mid-sized lump of blocked ducts. These were over a period of 18 hours trying to clear that lump...


Where my blood got drawn from. At a point, the blood just didn't want to flow through one of the vein so they had to draw from the back of my palm.


AN called me on Friday afternoon and said she was making me a ard. She wrote "I love momi a lot" and I really felt loved. Mr Liow said she wrote everything in there without help. Although there were not many words, I felt as if I was reading a letter and not a card. I love my dear girl too...

His New Love

ER found new way to soothe himself to sleep: by hugging his water bottle and drinking from it randomly.

I feel a strong sense of loss.Oh my goodness... It's beyond words!

Where I used to be is now a water bottle. And instead of "mem mem" when he dreamily awakes, he now asks for "water", and "turn" (turn the straw so that it reaches into the water when he gets nothing out of the straw).

Is this his first step to weaning?

I have to be prepared to let go. When he's ready, I should be too.

心痛和不舍得，不过应该是时候放手 我还是放手吧。。。

I Miss Mt A

I'm home, and missing the peace in the hospital. Lol!

Reality bites. My boy is coughing and having runny nose. Must be the bad air that's irritating his sensitive system. If not for Flixotide, he should be in worse shape now.

While in my absence, the mums had a good time enriching each other about how we (not we. I'm main caretaker, so they are pointing at ME!) do not feed ER.

They are so smart. They actually could tell that I want to starve my son to death.
(updated Sunday, 15 Sept: MIL commented that she felt heartache that ER hadn't been eating but she added that my mum said I had been feeding him and feeling the pressure worse because of it. I love my mum. She actually defended me. She wasn't the one bad mouthing me!)

And MIL is so good at taking care of ER that he's so bony after just 2 days despite claiming that he ate a lot. And he's even unwell now.

Logical side of me knows these are environmental factors, but since she enjoys pointing finger at my 'incompetence', I'd like to see how competent she is.

Apparently, I can keep the house in shape while caring for ER. Even with Mr Liow at home with her, housework hadn't been done (till MY mum washed my laundry this morning, and cleaned the sticky oily kitchen after SHE whipped up a feast yesterday without cleaning up).

I don't blame Mr Liow. I blame the one who points fingers and thinks I do a lousy job when she can't even do half of what I can with Mr Liow at home and I do it all by myself while he's away at work.

I'm glad MIL is away in JB now enjoying herself (she won't halt her holiday for us one lah! In fact when Mr Liow asked her for help on Friday, she was hesitant and reminded him that she would be going away...nothing new. When she came, she was upset that I had to fall sick at such a time..)

The last thing I want after being discharged, is to have her ask me why my son eats so well when she cooks (who knows if real...) and not eat for the past few weeks that I had most problems with. Maybe I should ask her how come ER became so skinny after 2 days, although she claims he ate.

Don't interrogate me when you have no standards yourself .....

Updated at 11pm: Her holiday is a one day trip. And she made it seem like a 14 days tour to Europe. She called to ask about us the moment she touched down. That was so kind of her and I am really mean because I totally found that fake.

Discharge-able

My platelets are down by only 5 today, so I can go home.

Hurray!

The Lord's been protecting me.

Doctor emphasised time and again since day 1 of admission, that my symptoms are so untypical. Not that everyone has the same signs but fever is almost always present. Because it's Dengue Fever. And victims dont usually gets discharged after 2 days. In some cases, there has to be blood transfusion.

Today is already day 6. My platelets are not dropping too badly by now, and unlikely to drop too much more in the next few days.

I'm to come back for another blood test on Wednesday and see the doctor to ensure my platelets are increasing.

Doctor doesn't foresee that I will get any worse, and commented again that this is so untypical. Lol! She wondered if I was already in trouble the few days before I was admitted. Because on the day I was, she was shocked at how dehydrated I was that day (she appeared doubtful I only threw up 5 times the day before I came) and my low blood pressure. Even the nurse commented as she 'unplugged' me a while ago that they don't usually insert the plug where they did.

Maybe I was already very unwell but the Lord sustained me! The ability to operate through Dengue symptoms is humanly impossible.

Anyway, Doctor Chia said I'm not anaemic but I'm running low on iron. She will start me off on iron supplements and reminded me to continue eating iron rich food.

I'm going home!

Yeah!

Mt A ROCKS

The nurses have never failed to keep me comfortable.

I was surprised they didn't seem very pro nursing because those at the maternity wards are.

But when I was engorged, one went to get a pump for me. It cleared part of the engorgement but not a mangled lump of milk ducts :(

I returned it after use, in case anyone needed it but by lunch, another nurse came up with it without even me making a request!

The engorgement didn't clear at all, so I asked for painkillers. The doctor ordered some for me.

This nurse actually went 'down' (to maternity ward I guess. I don't even know where I am now. LOL) and said the nurses there told her cabbage can help relieve engorgement as she set my painkiller down for me to take.

I knew, but where to find cabbage?

I didn't take the pill immediately coz the ministry would be coming and the pill may cause drowsiness and nausea (eeeeks. I DON'T WANT!)

She came back again about an hour later, with cabbage. Cold and soft, like maternity ward nurses taught her. And she helped me put them in place.

She said those were all they have and asked Mr Liow to remember to get some.

Now at 2 hours later, the area has softened and I pumped out the milk that were stuck. That side still feels sore. It had been swollen for the whole day afterall.

I'll continue pumping on case it gets chocked again.

The nurses here are soooooo kind.

I love Mt A!

Dengue Positive

My blood test shows a dengue positive.

Dr Chia just came and gave me a little more insight about what may be happening in a few days.

In summary:

I am in the early stages of the virus. Judging from my symptoms, this is day 5. It takes anywhere from 7-10 days for my antibodies to build up to fight the virus (she mentioned antigen but I don't know how the word can be used here).

I hv to have my blood taken daily to be sure my blood platelets are not falling too drastically and once there its an increase after the drop, I'm safe (that means my body has enough soldiers to fight). For now, because it's still early, she expects the figure to drop, hopefully not too drastically (by the 50s) or I'll need transfusion.

That sounds scary.

My kids need me at home. My questions to her repeatedly emphasised the point and she mentioned that if my bloods platelets, it's hard for her to let me leave knowing that may be life threatening.

I didn't think I got bitten, and she said most victims are not aware..the virus hibernates in the body for about 10 days.

CHANGI COTTAGE! We were there for bible study 2 saturdays ago. AN had 2 big bites on her legs.

I'm getting worried now. For as long as I was outside, ER was too. AN was outside for even longer, and she got bitten.

Please pray that none of them got it from the Andes mosquito...my symptoms are setting in now. Please pray none of them will show any of such signs in the following week.

And we have 2 important appointments on Tuesday.

I need to be ok...

Sleeping Without Mummy

Mr Liow is trying to find ways to pacify the little one and here comes the pacifier! Wahahaa! Soooooo cute! He's never used one and when I tried putting it in his mouth, he spat it out.

PRaying that the pacifier can take over mummy tonight.

Makes my day. Lol!

Missing The Kids

AN just called me from home and asked me how I felt. I had a short 10 mins chat with her and felt better. I missed them, her especially.

I love her voice over the phone, so sweet, demure and polite. Both our mums are around to help with the kids. My mum actually thought she would leave first because MIL said she could handle them. When I asked about the grandmas, my sweet girl volunteered: "I don't know but I'll go check now."

She reported that "ER cried twice but he didn't cry until he throw up". Sets my heart at ease.

I told her I'm on drips, like I was when we were in Tucson. She promised she will be the brave girl like last time and behave till I come home. And I assured her that I'm sure she will.

Omg....

I miss my baby girl. Like I missed her so much I cried while giving birth to ER.

My tea break


My first meal in 3 days, provided I don't throw up again.

I miss fried hokkien noodles! I miss real food... And I won't get any until Dr approves it because my stomach is not ready. *sob*


Updated @ 8pm:


My dinner. I LOVE Mt A's food, even fish porridge. And I got it. Lol!

Had no appetite and had only half of it, and half of the spinach. So far so good. I'm not nauseating.

Mr Liow just left. ER is at home crying now. Heartbreaking....I can hear him crying "mummy" from here.

*sob*

Other than that, I am at peace. For once, I'm away from any commotion.

I hope it's not dengue, as tested positive for. My blood pressure has stabilised. I think one night of peace is good enough.

Hospitalised

I'm in Mt. A now. Went to see a GP and got referred here coz I'm "Hypo-something".

This is going to be another tough day for Mr Liow.

辛苦你了，老公。。。。

Day 4

ER was fine yesterday. He was in a happier mood and didn't throw up. He didn't eat much but had 3/4 of his usual milk intake.

We managed to wake up at 8.30am this morning. I gave him fresh milk which he finished fast.

I'm unwell though. Cant say exactly why. I threw up once last evening and felt better after. While at my parents' place, the discomfort came back.

We went home and slept a little earlier, at 9.30pm.

Mr Liow was so sweet. He came over to our room to bring AN to the toilet in the middle of the night. I was knocked out by Diamenate (Diamente) but constantly got woken by the little boy who would whine when he's out of his comfortable sleeping area.

I'm still feeling dizzy. ER will be watching lots of TV today while I rest. I can't do much, just had another anti-nausea pill that didn't indicate "may cause drowsiness" but feel drowsy nonetheless.

Poor baby, mummy's going to neglect you today.


Updated: ER had total of 400 cals from milk today. Nothing much from food as usual, except for a few pieces of fried carrot cake that my father got me. I'm happy he had interest in my food. Any food. I gave him potato chips when he asked for some. He didn't want much tho.

He's having runny nose now, since morning. Hope it's because of the dirty air and not another virus.

As for me, I couldn't eat. Each time I tried, the food came back up an hour later. :(

I think it's iron deficiency. Suddenly got reminded by Shirl and recalled what Pam said about keeping our iron in check after she got hospitalized for the same, and she didn't even know.

Hair Affair

AN has a tangling affair with her long hair.

I was hoping to grow out her bangs so I can style her hair more but it proved to be a little uncomfortable for the 5 year old.

So I chopped off both front and back, in one snip.

The last time I cut the back, I couldn't get it right. When I finally did, it was short. Thank God she was too young to realise the difference.

This time, one snip and since it didn't appear uneven, I passed myself on this cut. I'll be nagged to death if I cut Rapunzel's hair too short.

I enjoy tying her hair but she only loves to let them flow...

Tired

It's time of the month for the second time.

sigh....

And I'm so extremely tired.

Had been feeling giddy past 2 mornings and couldn't get up to prepare AN for school. Good thing Mr Liow is always available to help (and it's funny when AN came home telling me: "Miss Sue asked if daddy tied my hair today. Lol!)

Along with giddiness, I have cramps, nausea, lethargy and I'm feeling so sleepy :( I had terrible cramps before my first pregnancy but after AN was born, my monthly affair was rather painless. The same body can experience such different symptoms.

I'm reading with ER in the room, hoping to get him to nap early (and wake up early). I need to lie down too.

Nap is actually too early at this hour coz he woke up at 9.30am. I gave up trying to wake him up earlier coz I was so tired myself. And I had plans to bring him to the library after breakfast.

Probably I will after his nap (and hopefully some light snacks).

If WE can wake up at 2pm, that will be perfect. Snack, and go out!

.......I feel so dead today. Weak and feverish...but no fever :(

Day 2: Puked

Milk in at 10am. No problems. Not much and I didn't dare push.

I gave stick carrot, apples, sausages and banana on a plate. He showed no interest. I pushed a piece of banana into his mouth at 1.30pm and he liked it. He didn't want to feed himself, so I did. Gave him tiny sized bites...and after about 3 pieces, he made a funny face and threw up.

:(

No sign of anything except milk from 10am.

I didn't get too upset this time. Just disappointed, but it's ok.

I'm just glad I didn't scare him by reacting negatively towards the throwing up.

Gave him 160mls of milk shortly after and he finished most of it.

AN Then and Now

We just collected AN's class photos again. It's been a year!

She has grown.

My princess...

Day 1: No Puke

It's hard to break out of his biological clock. Attempting to wake him at 8am was suicide, for me.

He dragged me back in to the room and laid down, chanting "men mem" as he sobbed pitifully. I gave in and nursed him.

He was up at 9.45am. I gave him fresh milk in a straw bottle, allowing him to reach for him at will. I heated up noodles from the dinner on Sun for myself. He wanted some, so I let him feed himself. We were at the coffee table and he was standing. Was messy but it's ok. He had a wee bit. Ok too.

As long as he's not stressed up at the sight of food.

I fed him milk which he drank a few spoonfuls of. Drank the remaining myself because it's been an hour or so at room temperature.

I offered cheese rings in a bowl shortly after, then cubes of cream cheese. He rejected both.

He didn't want my lunch, and I let him be. Before nap, I fed him 120mls of pediasure. He hungrily accepted but stopped at about 100mls.

He was super cranky when he woke up. In fact, he hasn't been his cheery self for weeks. He still plays and can be really adorable but the very uncooperative behaviour, in addition to his food hating campaign made it hard for me to get much done.

Dinner was at my mum's. He didn't want dinner either :(

I know I promised to keep cool but he had only 100 calories by evening. I can't help worrying by then. And he was super cranky. And super clingy. He would usually follow my mum to playground, and be really excited. And mum would help me shower him.

Not today. He wouldn't let me out of sight. Even at home, he would follow me to the restroom when he would usually be at ease playing, knowing mummy can't disappear from the toilet.

My sweet Mr Liow helped feed the last milk session and ER finished 160mls.

For once in days, he hasn't puked at all.

Total input: 260mls.

Praying that he'll be more comfy in the presence of food tomorrow...and that the Lord will hold me as I go through another day, watching my baby grow skinnier. I pray he'll not throw up tomorrow, that he'll get more than 260mls and most important, receive nutrients from whatever I offer.

"Now I realise the problem of breast feeding"

What a downright brainless discovery!

I know countless mums who do not breastfeed and have children who are clingy to them. Because THEY ARE THEIR MUMS! And some breastfed children who are independent.

She assumes my kids are so clingy because I nurse them and FINALLY, she found A problem with breastfeeding, since I started 5 years ago!

Good job. You finally found the cause of a natural bond between a mother and her children and blames it on breastfeeding!

You just brought your level of ignorance to a new high!

Congratulations!

And hurray to discovering this piece of important information at the mOst appropriate timing during which my son is hating food and announcing your great find!

You are beyond my amazement!

Waste of Her Time

We went out for a few hours to get some stuff done.

ER threw up milk for breakfast (I gave more after he was done), slept past lunch (argh! He can really sleep....) And threw up whatever tiny amount he had at 3pm. I gave him milk after that. By the time he finished at 5pm, I felt relieved..

Mr Liow went to fetch his mum after work. She came earlier today at 7pm to help watch over ER. There was still food for ER (because he didn't eat earlier), so I told his mum that she could feed him if she wanted.

She did and was giving him the very last spoonful when my mum and AN came back. Mum took AN to the library.

Apparently, according to his mum (who appeared really pissed that my mum and AN came back at the wrong time..), ER started crying when he saw his sister and threw everything up (AGAIN!)

As she recounted the scenario to me, she shut her eyes and looked away as a sign of displeasure, repeating: "They shouldn't have come back at that time. It wasn't easy to feed him. What a waste of my time...."

She was upset ER wasted her time. Upset that my mum brought AN back at the wrong time, causing him to throw up. And wasted her precious TV and sms time!

She didn't believe when we told her ER throws up easily. She assumes I do not 'force' him to eat.

Yeah! Force him lor. And conveniently blame my mum and AN. She insisted ER could have finished that last mouthful if they returned later.

Like as if my mum knew that was going to happen and brought AN just to make ER cry and puke.

It's never her fault. I'm not even blaming anyone and SHE had to point fingers. Who is she? She didn't even put in a single effort to care for him, only till recently when we had to be out with the baby once in a while for some matters.

ER threw up on her once and she was already so upset, to the extent of exclaiming that was a waste of her time.

Am not going to waste her precious time (idling). I feed my own son.