All about her

Hate it that my posts are mostly about her lately.

Hate it that there could have been more if I had more time to write.

Hate that home is no longer home...

Hate that she tries to help clean the house by wiping high and hidden corners while suggesting "you should hire a part time helper".

I never asked her to wipe these areas and I never intended to wipe them that often either.

I'm only particular about cleanliness and hygiene where my kids and hubby can reach.

My consolation is, she made me realise that despite being particular about the above mentioned, I'm not a clean-neat freak that I thought I'm turning into.

Selfish

Was giving AN a revision for her  Chinese spelling test and TV was on. MIL was sitting at the dining area, sms-ing (AS ALWAYS).

It was disturbing us and since no one was watching, I asked her if I could turn it off. She looked up from her phone, replied: "I'm listening to the TV." And went back to sms-ing.

HUH??!!

I could have insisted it was disturbing us and I will the next time. Just caught by surprise at her selfish answer to react sanely.

After revision, AN had to practice her music. I turned her volume louder than the TV so that both of us can hear her (cant be bothered to ask and wait for another selfish reply.)

She got up, sounded frustrated and commented: "So noisy.....", and then turned the TV off.

She'll be exceptionally selfish if she meant that AN was disturbing her "listening to the TV", won't she?

Maybe, she's not aware that AN needs to revise for a test or that she needs to practice her music.

Maybe, after nearly 3 months of staying here (and 2 years of staying over during weekends), she hasn't gotten used to lowering herself to commoner status.

Maybe she's just forgetful like he says.

Maybe I'm just not accommodating enough.

Lizard

Lizard, again!

4th sighting, 5th lizard in a 38 days. They appear faster than I am applying lemongrass...

Why am I always bumping into them?? There are either so many lizards loitering around that chances of seeing one is that high, or they love showing themselves to JUST me.

Sigh..

I shouldn't be complaining though, because I'm not the one catching them. At about 1am, my dear hubby got up to get rid of it. Must give credit where it's due.

I hope this is the one that escaped last week. Seriously, I wish we can build a window at the yard so they.do not have the freedom to come in as they please.

Answered Prayer

AN's music lesson is held at Thomson Plaza every Sunday at 11am. It coincides with church and we've been missing service for 1 and half year.

Miss Lim is a very good teacher and I didn't want to change AN to another class, but it'd be nice that AN gets to enjoy Sunday school too. So I had been praying that the JXC class timing will shift. AN wants to follow Miss Lim and because Miss Lim teaches piano, AN has already decided she'll continue with piano.

The good news (an answered prayer) was delivered today when Miss Lim announced that she will be stationed solely at Plaza Singapura (PS) after this JMC class (after JMC, it'll be JXC). We will either have a change of teacher at this same timing and location, or have the class changed to PS from 12-1pm on Saturday with her. We are to inform her by end Feb if we'll like to join her there because if there isn't enough students to form a class, there has to be an alternative.

AN immediately turned to me and clearly stated: "I want Miss Lim." That's perfect.

It'll be convenient coz NEL takes us to PS. Mr Liow can choose if he wants to follow us and we don't need to drive. JXC class won't require parents to sit in anymore. And that means I can go shopping every  Sat in town!

And we get church time back. Without having to sacrifice Miss Lim.

I have always preferred a busy Saturday and restful Sunday.

This can't be more ideal.

The next thing we need to pray for is that AN's classmates will want to continue with Miss Lim so that we have enough to form a class.

:)

跟家婆住

Met the housekeeping auntie yesterday and she knew MIL.

She even knew MIL went to SHPS to help out yesterday.

And she knows I'm staying with my MIL.

It's actually no big deal when she asked if I'm staying with my in laws but as I walked on, I'm starting to wonder if she meant I'm staying in my MIL's house. Wondered what MIL said. I so wanted to clarify "No. She's staying with us."

Forget it. It won't make any difference. I don't own this house too.

And because she's sleeping on the super single mattress now, she said she'll go get covers. We have existing covers and told her so. But she didn't like those covers, because they are cartoon-designed.

She puts her iron on the floor. There are cables all over.

What's supposedly in the study room has shifted out. I put toys inside so they can play but that's one dangerous room (with her around, the whole house is dangerous). Instead of toys, ER plays with her iron, her lamp, the cables and extension cord.

And she hates kiddy bedcovers.

That's not study study room. Neither is it playroom.

It's her room.

And I'm staying with my in laws.

Chinatown

Brought the kids with Chinatown with my folks this afternoon.

It was a hot afternoon and really crowded. AN was really excited and I'm happy when she is.

ER is cranky though, coz he napped for only minutes whole on the train. And he wanted to be carried as we explored Chinatown. Apparently, the mini 'lion heads' scared him; each time I encouraged him to walk, he'd go "lion so scary."

I had a good workout today. I'm not complaining. I seriously need to work every part of my body. I've been only working my mouth and vocals since I started feeding an ex-picky eater AN and current picky eater ER.

Didn't get anything CNY but bought stuff like chopsticks and the chinese manual handheld fans. And oh, a windmill.

Lol!

Yeah, you didn't think the kids would take interest in CNY decor, did you?

:p

Leaf Insect?

See what I meant? Another interesting insect!

It looks like a tiny, torn part of a leaf. Like a broken leaf insect, but it cannot be, right?

The camera on the phone is starting to disappoint. Out of 6 pictures, this is the 'clearest'. The rest were not close enough, and just as clear (macro mode nt functioning?)

Let's see what we're going to meet next.

Bite Allergy?

AN got bitten by something, unlikely a mosquito. And this is this 2nd time in 2 weeks. This second one appeared just a couple of days after the previous bite got better.

We're suspecting ants.

There are ants in Mr Liow's room and I'd been bitten once, just sitting on the bed. Those are big ones. Not those commando-type ants on trees but bigger than the 2 different species I eliminated back at Fernvale.

It's a miracle Mr Liow hasn't been been bitten when he spends more time with those ants than any of us.

This bite looks frightening...we need ant traps and exterminators now, in addition to cockroach and lizard ones.

This house is like a mini insect museum, showcasing LIVE insects. We've had beetles, wasps (most common visitor), lizards (not insect), cockroaches, flies, and those teeny-weeny insects that we do not often see them flying around as much as we see them dead near the window.

My kids now do not fear insects. They are well socialized. In fact, AN protected me when we saw those lizards on New Year Eve. She stood in front of me and assured me: "Mummy, don't worry. I won't let the lizard jump on you."

First Tooth's Journey Out

The loosened tooth since 18th December is finally out!

It's been extremely shaky the last couple of days and as recommended by online articles, I encouraged AN to constantly wriggle it.

Our chinese tradition was to pull it out with a string, stand with feet neatly next to each other, and throw tooth up (for teeth on lower jaw).

I'm done with old wives' tales but at this point, I think I'll let her throw the tooth tomorrow, just so she gets to experience what we did as kids. Hehe.

She was the one who removed her own tooth! My brave warrior princess....

She tasted blood, touched the tooth and saw blood. I got her to step up at loosening the tooth further. Move it like how she loosens lego pieces from each other.

It finally came off BUT was still hanging onto the gum by that bit of skin. There was more blood and she felt more pain.

I stood her in front of a mirror so that she could see it was already out. Took her a while of playing with the tooth using her tongue and lips before it totally detached from the gum.

Bleeding stopped after she bit on a gauze for a short while.

I was excited about this tooth loss, as much as I was with the eruption of it (this WAS her first tooth).

Another milestone.

I still had both Baileys and Maen's milk teeth in my little ceramic holder while we were in Tucson but it's nowhere to be found since the boxes reached Singapore 2 years ago.

:(

I'm going to treasure these new ones as best as I can.

Responsibility Chart

AN's selected responsibilities for the next 7 days starting today.

Time she gets praised for good behaviour, remembers her good deeds and be encouraged for them.

Cheeky Boy

AN accidentally kicked me and apologised: "Sorry mama."

ER: "Sorry mama."

Me to ER: "Jie jie said sorry coz she kicked mummy. Why did you have to say sorry?"

My boy, lifted his leg towards my belly, gave me a light kick and a cheeky smile: "There. Sorry mama."

Growth Spurt

ER eats his meals real slowly but from yesterday, he had been snacking non stop.

I went to fetch AN home from school and before I did, I went to get a large pack of popcorn chicken. AN finished his popcorn chicken before Genevieve's birthday on Sunday (because he chews too slowly. Lol!) and he had been asking for it since then.

The moment I reached home with AN at 2.30pm, he started munching on the chicken. AN had some too. He finished the last piece (sweet jie jie said she won't finish his snack this time...my sweet girl...) at abt 4pm, had diner (negligible amount) at 7pm, and then snacked on cashew nuts from 9pm till it was bed time. AN used to survive on cashew nut at some point of her life too.

Probably doesn't sound much to mums whose kids have no problem eating. But that's one rare occasion for ER!

He just asked for banana. How cool! It is cashew nut and banana morning today. The first "non-milk" breakfast in at least a year.

And healthy too.

Yeah!

Cockroach

We've had wasps, unidentified flying insects, lizards. Today, it's cockroach.

Mr Liow whacked it and it fell. He then sprayed Bygone at it and waited for it to stop moving. It fell on its back but continued kicking, so he sprayed more.

MIL was talking on the phone but couldn't help commenting "哇不要再喷了。他都要被你喷死了， 你还在喷。。。 你好可怕。。” (stop spraying already. It's already dying and you're still spraying. You're so frightening.")

Lol!

It continued to kick but couldn't get up. We watched on, worried that it'd start crawling the moment it got back on its feet.

I suggested Mr Liow whacked it hard and stop its suffering altogether. But when we needed newspapers to bundle up, there were none.

Mr Liow asked his mum where she kept her papers (she was still on the phone) and she tore a piece from her notebook.

We looked at each other, wondering what Mr Liow can do with 1 piece of paper.

While still listening to her friend talking on the phone, MIL walked towards Mr Liow with the paper, passed him and bent down to grab the kicking cockroach with her paper, calmly. With one free hand and the other holding the phone.

We were stunned for a couple of seconds before we burst out laughing!

It was that simple, pick the cockroach up and dump it in the chute. We spent more time waiting for it to stop kicking.

After settling the cockroach, Mr Liow shut all windows. MIL was STILL on the phone.

We took the kids into the room to sleep. Soon after, we heard MIL walk by the kids' room complaining “哇！ 你们窗口关到完。热死我。。。”

Lol! We are scaredy cats.

I love you because AN loves you

AN has many many dolls and this is her first. Up till the day before the shift, AN reminded me to remember her princess bag "because Kerry is inside".

After the shift, we forgot about Kerry. As I was sorting out some stuff, ER found 'her'. I was glad he was happily occupied with Kerry, leaving me some peace to continue organising stuff in the room, but it bothers me, the fact that HE'S A BOY AND PLAYING WITH KERRY.

Only consolation is, he's throwing her and her accessories around, unlike how girls play with dolls.

By the time I was done, Kerry and accessories vanished. I asked ER where he hid Kerry and he gave me several bogus locations. I finally found all the accessories BUT KERRY WAs STILL MISSING.

I felt guilty for allowing ER to play with AN's VID (Very Important Doll). And he lost her.

The guilt turned to heartache. Like as if I lost something precious.

I spent the next hour or so, looking for Kerry. ER helped too. Erm.... He tried.

Couldnt describe the joy and relief when I found her.

Sets me thinking how when one loves another so much, one actually loves what the other loves as well.

Love overflows.

Genevieve's Party

Baby Genevieve turns 4 and is no longer a baby. Haven't stopped lamenting how time flies! We weren't around when she was born. When we came back, she was 2 (effectively only 18 months). Now she's 4! 

The party was parent-friendly! There was a jumping castle that took the kids' attention off us (for ER, it was only for a short while.) We had time to eat and chat without having to divert our attention to needy little ones as often as usual.

ER was hesitant about the jumping castle when we first arrived. AN loves jumping castles and headed for it the moment she saw it.

AN was actually braver than ER in this. At ER's age, AN wouldn't hesitate joining her friends in jumping around.

Sweet sweet AN actually took on her responsibility as an elder sister and kept encouraging ER to follow her! She helped him up the castle after he finally dared to enter it, watched him slide off (after which he decided it was fun!) and kept him company throughout the whole play session, ensuring he didn't get trampled on.

Each time I looked up to check on them, AN would be near ER.

Many times I punish AN when she becomes selfish with ER. Sometimes, we would jokingly suggest that we'll put ER away. Because she didn't enjoy sharing. I know, it's a phase. I know, she's young. But I know too, that behaviours not corrected from young, values not reinforced from young, they become habit. Habits are hard to break.

I am aware I'm too harsh and react too fast. I'll work on that.

Anyway, this shepherding spirit in AN touched my heart. At that point, I told myself that I must be patient with AN. I mustn't destroy this loving, caring sister ER is blessed with.

What a journey motherhood is. The blood boiling, pressure building moments, versus the touching moments when the kids behave like they are the best kids, best buddies ever.

I must learn to be patient.

Mummy knows Everyone

Incident 1
AN: "Mummy, you know this guy, Einstein?"
Me: "Yup. Why?"
AN: "He's a singer. And he's very smart."
Me: "Errrr.....then I don't know this Einstein. The one I know of, Albert Einstein, is an inventor. He discovered light."
AN started thinking and corrected herself: "Oh yes mum! You are right! You are so smart! Did we have the same teacher?"

Incident 2
AN: "Mum, do you know Florence?"
Me: "Nightingale? Florence Nightingale, the nurse?"
AN: "Yes! Wow, mum! How come you know everybody?"

Blessed

Times like these, I can never bear to.close my eyes and fall asleep.

I had a good hour of watching the kiddos share what they each had, of listening to AN read to ER, of playing with them and hearing them laugh with and at each other.

There are times I wished I didn't hv to be around to face tantrums. But it's a tradeoff. I don't see tantrums, I don't get to correct them. And I also miss such lovely moments as well.

I lament that they love to antagonise me by refusing to cooperate. But a quote reminded me that kids show themselves, who they truly are, what they truly want, to whom they trust most.

So I make it a point to listen to an explanation and stand by them if it doesn't hurt them not to obey, even if I get criticised for "spoiling" them.

By "them", I mean AN for now. (ER takes instructions rather well without much resistance most times).

Situations like these usually happens with instructions coming from the grandparents, who spoil them in ways I see no benefit to the kids as well. Generation gap.

Today was good. It wasn't easy for me to end the play time and insist it's time to sleep.

:)

I pray for more of such sessions.

And I realised too, that I'm more patient when I can't see well. AN was upset with me about something this morning and told me about it. I was apologetic but she continued nagging about it.

I didn't blow up like some other times when I wondered why she would be that reluctant to let go.

But when I saw her angry face, I got upset. I lost my specs earlier and couldn't see her angry face from a distance.

This time, I didn't become very angry after I saw her angry face. It occurred to me that I could have been slow to anger every time, just as long as I do not see.

An easily angry mum doesn't benefit my kids. I'll make another point to not look into too much details and be more tolerant.

Love the Girls

Written the might after gathering but forgotten to post. Lol!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We did make it to the Christmas gathering with my SHSS girls at the farthest end of Singapore yesterday.

Wonder if it's coz I'm too tired, or if I've not had a proper conversation for too long, I actually needed to warm up to these girls I've known for 20 years!

Needless to say, kids had a blast.

This time after gathering, I felt like a terrible mum though.

I can't exactly say why. Maybe I was already feeling melancholic lately. Everything I see appear bleak and colorless these days.

ER falling sick every month and not enjoying proper food caused him to look undernourished. I could already see his skin and bones. And when the 3 boys showered together last night, my heart sank even more. He looked sickly beside the other boys who still have baby fats on them. ER had none.

Guess it's in the genes. AN was worse back then.

I can't seem to find anything that I did right with my kids. I spend more time telling AN "no" or "wait", than I actually get to do stuff with her.

ER is not thriving physically, and that bothers me most.

After analyzing the whole night, I realized I spend too much effort on watching the weight chart. So much that I neglected other aspects of his growth.

I'm envious of Is' free spirit and T's discipline. ER is still very much mummy's boy who comes check if I'm round the corner every now and then, but lacks the discipline to keep still when he's supposed to.

I know every kid is different. But I can't help reflecting constantly if I'm doing right.

This stage should pass.

I see AN playing with the girls and am rather contented. Other than some kiddy disagreements here and there (none that I personally chanced upon though), it seems she's already comfortable with them. She even took a shower with them, her first outside home!

Just one session like this and my brains keep me up the whole night reflecting and planning, worrying and comparing.

Mr Liow says I think too much. But how do I worry less? I'd like to quote my mum: "there will never be a day a mum stops worrying for her kids."

Anyways...

Thank God the kids showered before we came back, because it was late and they were tired by the time we reached. Smart ideas these mummies have! Lol!

Thanks to Pei and Terry who gave us a lift home despite having tired kids on board themselves.

I'm thankful for this group of who were around through most part of my life. 20 years, as Yun pointed out.

Am just waiting for the kids to grow up so that we can make it our Girls' Gathering again (having a choice whether to bring the kids) like it started out long ago.

Start of the "Painful Journey" again??

Before stomach flu symptoms kicks in fully, I usually get wierd dreams that keep me waking up frequently. And during those interruptions, I gradually feel worse, start visiting the toilet (stools change from hard to soft, and then watery).

And the nauseous feeling leads to uncontrollable throwing up.

I'm having one of those kinds of wierd dream  again and I just went through the usual "stage 1" symptoms.

I upon a charcoal pill and a Maxocolon. My last charcoal....

Lord, please cleanse my stomach so that I do not have to end up in hospital again. We can't afford such medical commitment every 3 months. :(

P.s: I'm fine. phew...

Safety Hazard

I knew I'll be writing this post soon.

There's no grilles in the study room that she's occupying. So we've told her that the windows will have to be closed whenever she doesn't need them open.

Since she likes to sleep with fan and windows opened, I left the key to the windows for her.

We're worried, knowing how she thinks she's watchful but is not at all. But what can we do? Can't possibly deny her this simple request of sleeping with opened windows, right?

I passed her the key and specifically reminded her that ER attempted to step onto the little table so that he could reach high (for his own toddler reason. I don't see what he could be reaching for..)

She proudly replied: "Oh! Rest assured. I'm very careful. I'm also worried about children falling out of windows."

*roll eyes*

She just can't stop thinking so highly of herself, huh? Asking her to be watchful but instead of listening to advise, she put up her I-also-know-what-to-do line of defence.

As I passed by the room, I saw windows wide open. She left the door to the room open as well. But she was already not at home then. So inviting.

And so careful, huh?

Mr Liow saw it too.

Each time I tell her to be careful with how she holds and places sharp/ dangerous stuff, she'll question me: "Did I?"

Argh.........

Glad he was still around to be my witness before she starts assuming I'm making up stories..

With her around, I have to more than teach ER what not to do. I have to look into every corner to be sure he doesn't find something before I do......

Seriously, I havent met another grandma who has no such instinct of watching out for dangers....isn't it usually the grandmas who are particular about safety????

Why is this one staying with us creating danger???

Almost There

Mr Liow has been doing the unpacking. This picture was taken last week after curtain was finally up.

Previously before we took over the house, it was neat (empty) and classy. Very much like a showflat (like no one lives in it).

But housekeeping was not up to par (disgusting, in fact... BLACK toilets and basins like they've never been washed, slimy sink lined with dried food pieces glued all over inside, wasp nests in curtains, mamee and twisties inside wardrobe wrapped up in furry dustballs.

Like what Mr Liow used to comment on girls when we were teenagers "Pretty from far, but far from pretty".

Apt description for what we took over.

Now, the classy-ness is compromised. As we can see, we moved our mess into this house. Haha!

There is absolutely NO WAY we can keep the house neat and tidy.

The kids help in their own ways. ER surprised me by putting a toy back in its box and brought it back to study room without being asked to. My darling! AN keeps her stuff too. But somehow neatness is always a challenge.

It should gradually improve once boxes are dumped and more stuff gotten rid of.

At least the house is now clean enough to live in. We love it here.

Could have been better. I'll wait.

Experience?

MIL is mopping the floor now. I should appreciate, but I just mopped on Saturday morning, before the kids awoke.

I've reminded her that if she really wants to mop, do so when the kids won't be up and about. If she doesn't want to wake up early to do it, or sleep late because of mopping, leave it to me. It's always been my job.

Did she mop when the nieces were awake and at this age when they could hardly sit for more than10mins?

ER apparently can't remain still for that long yet, and already he fell once when he slipped on his way to look for me and I was making him milk. She saw and told me I have to be careful. I was upset then and retorted that I don't mop during the day unless kids won't be up for next 30mins...

It didn't get to her.

I'm ungrateful. But really, too many cooks spoil the soup.

I've seen her hold stuff with sharp corners sticking out from the back, countless time. At ER's eye level.

I've reminded her countless times but it doesn't get to her.

And how she places kitchen knives on ceramic bowls near the edge of the tables. ER only has to feel around (given that he's too short to see what's up there) and both bowls and knives will rain on him.

Why does it seem like she's never cared for little children before? Sven rookie mummies of my age are sensitive with dangerous stuff around their little ones.

My mum just asked me out. She thought I could leave ER with MIL.

I rejected mum's offer. Unless necessary, I prefer to care for my own kids. SHE'S more dangerous than any household dangers...

P.s: She questioned the way I kept the utensils, saying it's hard to get them.

That's precisely why I placed them that way. I do not want them within reachable distance from the kids, especially ER. Those reachable ones are non-breakable ones.

She can go gossip about me for all I care. My kids, my home, my family....these responsibilities are mine.

Lizard Again

Another lizard!

Because I haven't been scenting the house with lemongrass for the past 2 days? Because one of us forgot to block the gap under the yard door last night?

-____-"

I hope it left the house. It was headed that direction out. Mr Liow spotted one outside but we can't be sure if it's the same.

While still figuring out if the lizard could have left, we heard our neighbour ask a family member: "Where got lizard?"

So many, or the same one that keeps getting spotted?

Time Alone

I'm enjoying some peace, walking to the coffeeshop to get dinner while Mr Liow tends to the kids.

The sun went hiding and it's breezy. Such a lovely walk.

I'm contented.

Funny Baby

Little boy woke up the same time as AN, so after she left for school, I brought him for a morning walk to Punggol Park.

It's past nap time and he's still not sleepy. I'm dozing off.

Since he's not sleepy, I said I'll make milk for him. He said he didn't want. I insisted on milk because he insisted: "Than Than don't want sleep."

Finally he caved and decided: "Than Than don't want milk. Than Than sleep."

But....

"Than Than poo poo! mummy change diaper."

Sigh....

He laid really still after I changed him and he repeated: "Than Than don't want milk. Than Than sleep."

I went out to throw his diaper, came back to find him missing and playing with MIL's new fan in the next room.

He saw me and got a shock (he looked irresistibly cute when he looked at me with wide eyes!). And he went: "Uh oh! Ok, Than Than go sleep NOW!" He emphasized "NOW!" And hurriedly scrambled back to his room.

I didn't even utter a word. And I felt like laughing.

This funny boy.....

P.S: He's still not sleeping. His excuse: "Than Than wants Animal Book!" And he starts showing off his animal recognition skill. At times like these, I don't usually they stop, unless it's past 11pm on weekday's night.

We Talked

I asked if his mum will keep to her word about finding a place to stay after CNY. He said he'll ask her.

Frankly, I didn't start off wanting to ask her to leave. In fact, I still do not. Only at times, I'm reminded of how selfish she is and how I really do not have to return kindness for selfishness.

I released my pent up unhappiness, like loose stool. We had a long talk.

And I feel better now, even though she still doesn't appear to be leaving until something happens that make her. She's even going to get a fan for herself (she doesn't like aircon...)

Like I told her, she can stay for as long as she wants, even if it's till the end of her tenancy agreement end of this year. She was the one who said she would find a place soon. And then she decided to stay. All decided within her and she didn't even bother to discuss with us.

All I ask for is respect. She is his mum and I'm not relieving ourselves of our duty towards her. But that doesn't give her rights to behave like a queen....

I don't know what she wants next. But having Mr Liow listen in and empathize with me in my position helped a whole lot.

He said he doesn't complain much about his mum (until he can take it no more), because he doesn't want to fuel my existing anger towards her behavior. Not because he agrees with her.

I told him that hearing him complain about her helps assure me that at least my hubby is normal. That he's not irrationally tolerating her nonsense like I perceive him to be when he doesn't seem bothered about how his mum behaves at times..

My tank is refueled. This should last me for a while. Thanks dear for listening and understanding.

I Give Up

I'm going to get myself assignments again. Am also looking at other channels, whatever keeps me out of this house constantly. I DON'T WANT TO BE WHERE SHE IS.

Once pay starts coming in, I'll put ER at AN's school full time. AN may be there full time as well.

Our original plan of giving our kids a stay-home mum will have to go. Thank you VERY MUCH!

I wish there's an escape route that we can take. Since there's none, the next way out is to give up, and jump.
Seriously, family had always been priority. It's going to take a while before I get adjusted back to spending time with and on strangers, more than my kids and family.

I can't bear to.

But no point now.

She's Back

Soon after she came back, she started to appear hostile, as if offended by something. No one could tell why.

We both thought it might have been the room: "Her" room, our study room, that upset her. It was empty when she left, and very packed now (Mr Liow opened up the remaining boxes over the weekend and these were labeled "study room").

What did she expect? I hope she didn't really think that's HER room! We had tonnes of things that originally should have gone in there since day 1....

And just because Mr Liow commented during dinner that 2 servings of rice would have been enough for us all because SHE asked for 3 servings, insisting she was extremely hungry (specifically adding she had no lunch, as if it was our fault. We didn't even know she was coming back yesterday...and I hope she's nt trying to hint that we are at fault for not knowing..).

And she took a tiny portion of her order, inciting Mr Liow's comment.

She loves to order for a village, eats like a mouse and then make us finish by repeating "don't waste food." I thought she wouldn't do that yesterday after Mr Liow's comment (and after her display of offence at what he said), but the moment Mr Liow walked away leaving me with her, she targeted me and insisted "finish up...don't waste."

Can't anyone understand why I HATE to be alone with her??

Mr Liow commented that  we'll meet his cousin (who also stays in the same estate) anytime soon, finally. We had wanted to invite then over but not till the house looks more presentable.

Her hostile, loner inner being, surfaced and she appeared upset, insisting: "why should you invite them? If they are interested, they will drop by. Anyway I don't even see a need."

She was upset wor! What's wrong with her?

The same person who keeps emphasising on maintaining family ties, is upset that we were planning on meeting his cousin. Or was she only concerned that we maintain family ties with HER side of the family?

I don't know how to be be selfless with selfish people like that.

This same person who tells us and the grandkids "don't waste food" is, again, the one who orders more than what we can eat. How not to waste? It's not about how cheap another bowl of rice is (she retorted that the additional rice cost nothing significant and was upset he voiced out the fact that she ordered too much).

We teach the kids not to be greedy. We teach them not to waste. She teaches them the same but doesn't practice what she preaches.

Hurray to double standard in our house from now on!

She was upset about this and that the moment she got back.

This is OUR house, not hers. She's starting to show dominance now. Her "forbearance" is wearing off as reality sets in: we need the room, not just some wardrobe space (originally ours to begin with) that she was willing to share.

I hate her presence.

I hate her ability to spoil everyone's mood.

I hate it that we were happy and enjoying the weekend...till she stepped into our home with her grumpy behavior and spoilt it all.

How I hate knowing these will rub off onto the kids because it's already rubbing onto me...

How much I hate where I am now.