Blessed

Times like these, I can never bear to.close my eyes and fall asleep.

I had a good hour of watching the kiddos share what they each had, of listening to AN read to ER, of playing with them and hearing them laugh with and at each other.

There are times I wished I didn't hv to be around to face tantrums. But it's a tradeoff. I don't see tantrums, I don't get to correct them. And I also miss such lovely moments as well.

I lament that they love to antagonise me by refusing to cooperate. But a quote reminded me that kids show themselves, who they truly are, what they truly want, to whom they trust most.

So I make it a point to listen to an explanation and stand by them if it doesn't hurt them not to obey, even if I get criticised for "spoiling" them.

By "them", I mean AN for now. (ER takes instructions rather well without much resistance most times).

Situations like these usually happens with instructions coming from the grandparents, who spoil them in ways I see no benefit to the kids as well. Generation gap.

Today was good. It wasn't easy for me to end the play time and insist it's time to sleep.

:)

I pray for more of such sessions.

And I realised too, that I'm more patient when I can't see well. AN was upset with me about something this morning and told me about it. I was apologetic but she continued nagging about it.

I didn't blow up like some other times when I wondered why she would be that reluctant to let go.

But when I saw her angry face, I got upset. I lost my specs earlier and couldn't see her angry face from a distance.

This time, I didn't become very angry after I saw her angry face. It occurred to me that I could have been slow to anger every time, just as long as I do not see.

An easily angry mum doesn't benefit my kids. I'll make another point to not look into too much details and be more tolerant.