"Mummy, I'll throw my sweets away"

AN's cough was improving, till yesterday. There was Easter celebrations in school and when my mum complained that AN had been coughing whole day, I half expected that she had been having sweets in school.

I asked her and she admitted to having sweets. I was upset because she used to be able to say 'no' to sweets when she was sick. Just last Thursday, she was caught hiding behind the fridge door 'stealing' chocolates she was given in school.

Why are they given so much sweets and chocolates in school??

Anyway, I told her off for not obeying when I said no chocolates till she recovers last Thursday and now this time she had sweets.

She appeared shocked when I asked if she had sweets in school and seemed to suddenly remembered she was supposed to recover first. And then she apologised for having them.

The more I thought about it, the more upset I got. We were on the way to recovery....and then this cough came back again....! I ignored her and she panicked.

Out of desperation, she asked: "Mummy, can I their my sweets away?"

My heart softened when she asked that. Mr Liow had been prompting me to forgive her when she kept apologising for having sweets before recovering but I couldn't help ignoring her. I realise I'm having problems controlling my emotions more and more these days.

Something tells me that how I ignore AN so much will actually affect her confidence as she grows up. But I just keep doing it :(

I gave her a hug and went with her to dump those sweets but allowed her to keep 2 chocolates in the shape of an egg. She can have them after she gets well.

I do have a girl who tries. She is sensible but she's only 4 year old. I keep forgetting and I place too much expectation on her :(

For fear of spilling milk on our big bed, or dropping bread crumbs, she will, by default, sit on the floor in our room to eat/drink without being asked to. We no longer have supper in the living room. The floor is COVERED in pee stains and fur after we get home from my parents' place. Everyday. Everytime we step out of the house, even if only for an hour of lunch or dinner. It's taxing to hv to clean up so many times a day. So, we retreat into the room upon reaching home. That's the only place where we have a clean floor to sit on :(

If it makes some more comfortable to hear, BM gets more of the house than we do now. We are confined only to the rooms while they get the rest of the house.

I feel bad for AN. She should have the freedom to sit in the main hall of our home. She should have the freedom to roll on the floor, and leave toys all over the house like children do. She shouldn't need to shed tears over a precious origami that BM tore up, even after she tried to push it as far onto the dining table as she could before we left the house. She should be able to drop a gummy bear vitamin on the foot of our home, pick it up and then eat it without picking up fur with it.

What am I doing? She's growing up and soon, she'll not be a little girl anymore. But I'd only kept reminding her not to sit on the floor coz there's fur, not to touch the floor coz there are pee stains, not to snack at coffeetable coz BM will come. There are more things AN can't or isn't allowed to do because of BM than the other way around.

What do I expect of my baby? What more can I expect from my 4 year old? She's already giving in so much and she's only 4.

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