My Big Baby

I never fail to be amazed by how fast time flies.

AN will be turning 4 years old in a month. I can recognise every part of her growth in photos we have of her: that taken when she was born, after her first shave, her first flip, her first semi solid meal, her first crawl, birthday, first independant step, in Tucson, on holidays elsewhere, activities, and the list continues.

If not for ER, we will not be able to actually FEEL her growth! It's easy to carry ER around because he fits into our arms, not AN. Her limbs dangle when we carry her. She's 1 metre tall now. She didn't FEEL that tall, heavy and big, till ER came.

Looking at my little girl in pictures, we can can clearly see how she has grown! That cute round face is slowly growing longer and leaner. What is never going to change, will be how beautiful she had been and will always be. Beauty lies in the eyes of her beholder. I'm sure you think the same of your juniors :)

It warms me each time we sit down to watch videos we took of her: from a cooing infant, to a blabbering toddler, to the witty preschooler that she now is. In fact, she can still remember most events that happened, even some dated as far back as when she was 2 years old.

I love our little princess. There are times she puts me to test, but I can't ask for anything more normal. She's learning to make choices, some of which do not go down well with us. Someday, she will improve at it.

This explains why we went on to have ER, and possibly stop at number 3. Life itself is an amazement, from this tiny 7mm dot in the womb, to a foetus with limbs that grow. From feeling kicks from within me, to holding my baby for the first time. From learning to breastfeed her, to learning to cope with her fussy eating habits. From watching her crawl, to watching her brake in time when she cycles. From listening to her baby talk, to conversing with her about what her future may look like.

I can't stop at just one. :)

True enough, AN does test my patience. Each time I wonder why she just can't obey, my conscience throws a question: "Aren't you just as stubborn?"

With children, I see myself better. I see my imperfections, and how merciful the Lord has been to me. In His anger, He could have struck me down. But not only did He not, He has a place waiting for me, a place in heaven that I do not deserve.

AN reflects areas about myself that I overlooked all the time.

Most of all, the innocence of my child leaves me much to learn from. Things one will understand more when one spends enough time with a child to see beyond kiddy tantrums and disobedience.

If you wonder why you have kids when all they do is upset you, take it from my friend: you are experiencing what life is really about. And it is good because you are experiencing life at a different level.

Enjoy life. I'm enjoying my big baby ;)