Are you going home?

As we were departing SIL's place on day 2 of CNY, AN saw MIL putting on shoes and asked: "Nai nai, where are you going?"

His mum replied that she's going home with us and AN asked: "I thought this is your home?"

I was telling mr Liow this and he said AN did the same on the evening of reunion dinner. She asked his mum if she was going home that night after dinner. Probably because this was the first time SIL and the mum met after the "breakup" in Oct/Nov last year.

His mum was affected and questioned Mr Liow if he was the one who told AN she would be leaving with SIL that night.

He didn't, of course. 哪里敢?!

Then he looked at me: "you didn't too right?"

I wish I had the guts, man! In fact, I wish I dare to tell her that her presence made me want to walk out.

I'm serious. Many times I almost wanted to pack my bag and walk out. But I didn't because I don't want my kids, especially AN who is learning as she observes, to think leaving home in spite is normal. This grandma of hers is already bad enough of an influence..

But I flare up at the kids to relieve the pent up anger and hate. Just as bad. What else can I do? There's a limit to my forbearance. When I hit that limit, what else should I do? This sickening situation that SHE shoved into my face, what else can I do?

I'll learn to scream into pillows.

Telling AN she's leaving obviously isn't going to make her leave, right??

But then, did AN feel me? Is AN that sensitive? Or did she still think that grandma is only staying with us temporarily?

I wondered if AN is also wishing she'll go but I doubt so. AN has nothing against her.

I so wish this is an indication to her that living together with us isn't like the perfect picture she's been painting to her friends.  That MAYBE, she IS intruding into the life of her son's family which had been managed by her son's wife, till she barged in and disrupted all routines.

I wish I had AN's guts to ask her: "Are you going home yet?"