Night Terror or Sick????

He is still coughing and dripping mucus. It's been a month. When will be recover???

That's not all.

He's been waking up screaming in the middle of the night since Monday. Not once nightly but so often I lost count. He would wake up screaming for some random toy that he wanted me to find at 2am, then 4am, then shortly before they both wake up for school.

AN'S cough got better before it is starting to get worse again. AN had been coughing since end of April, sometimes sounding like she had recovered before the annoying cough would come back. I can't even tell if she did recover or not.

Why are they not recovering??????????

And I'm being questioned over how I discipline my children. They are exceptionally tough lately. My lack of sleep isn't doing me any good.

Her unwelcomed comments do not help either.

And Mr Liow had been on course for this whole month so I'm solely responsible for preparing 2 sleepy kids for school, out of whom one is extremely difficult because he is now starting to hate school (except for toys morning, the first morning this week that he went in happily). Even when he didn't hate school, he is an angry one to rouse out of dreamland.

The kids drive me up the wall, give me no sleep, she's still here to haunt me and the man is out of the house every day even before I wake the kids up.

Like it is  every single time when they are sick, I feel so alone battlibg everything on my own at night.

And randomly find dirty utensils or dangerous items (medicated creams, nail clipper etc) lying in full view of my kids just kill me more.

As if I don't have enough.

I still have to ensure my home (wrong. Not me. I'm just a tenant.) is safe for the kids.

The tantrums. And then the interference when we discipline.

Let's see how strong I am before I crumble.

My husband says she's leaving. As if that's end of story.

He doesn't see how badly damaged I already am over this period. Or maybe he's keeping silent because he doesn't want to say the wrong thing. Or maybe he's tired. Maybe he's overwhelmed too.

Maybe.

Maybe?!

Maybe by then I'm already gone and things return to their old peaceful self again.

What is sleep? When was the last time I was victorious because I was protected against this intruder in my life and everything I used to care for?

I'm just really unimportant. Like the many maids who came to work for his sister and left.

The only difference is we have a marriage contract and offspring obligations. The huge responsibility that crushes me knowing my children need to vent their tantrums on me. They cannot do without me.

Otherwise I'm dispensable.

So, what does that make me?