She Will Run

My dad reminded me to not punish Adrielle so much. For a minute, I thought he was going to be a typical grandpa who feels the pain when he sees the grandchild being punished. But he continued with these words that struck me: "When she grows up, she will run away."

These words weighed more than what our mums had been nagging me about punishment. To me, a child has to know what is right and wrong, and understand consequences that come with her decisions. To the mums, "she's still young." Yes, she is. Kids are as teachable as they are young. Do they suppose I'll get my message across to her when she's a teenager and if she had never known what's right, wrong and consequences?

But this time, I have to agree with my dad. I don't want my baby to run away when she's older.

I remember the 5 languages of love. I forgot to love AN enough. Punishment and reward goes hand in hand. She cannot be punished without being sure she's loved. I can declare my love for her on my blog but she will never know.

For the weekend that has just past, I tried spending more time with her. I tried to be the one who held her hands more, and I really tried to speak patiently to her. I wasn't successful 100% of the time when she acts up, but I will continue to try till I can overcome the anger. I hugged her more, joked more, and teased her more. But I didn't budge on rules. What we had always said she had to obey (for an instance, she is not allowed to choose who helps her when she needs help), she still isn't allowed to throw a fit and get her way.

I think her language of love is touch. I may be wrong, and she may outgrow it. I'll continue to observe and pray for wisdom, and self control. I pray that I'll be slow to react in anger, and that I'll be able to generously lavish her with love. Attention has to be shared. ER at this age needs lots of attention. I can't draw that from him to give more to AN, and that means Mr Liow has to bear with less of my time.

I'm thankful he's helping me fill up the kids' need for attention whenever I'm unable to. After the traumatic 2 weeks of high fever and flu, both Mr Liow and I are shagged out and I couldn't spend quality time with Mr Liow without falling asleep after the kids step into lalaland. In fact, I suddenly felt feverish after dinner last evening. And Mr Liow had tension headache (or migraine?) for the past 4 days.

The Aftermath.

So, they say, think positive thoughts, because thoughts turn into actions. I'm going to evict reminders of how disobedient AN can be and plant reminders of how better behaved she will be after my attitude towards her changes.

I don't want her to be bad, but aboveall, I don't want her to run away.