My parents had an argument since Monday. Mum cooks for us almost daily, then leaves the cleaning up to my dad. She then hurriedly showers and helps me with the kids so that I can shower and hv my meals, depending on what time she's done.
So, what's the argument about? Dad told mum off because he didn't think she needs to cook daily. But mum cooks daily because she didn't want AN to eat out everyday. I am on mum's side on this and secretly wonders why my dad can be so selfish (updated: I cannot say my dad is selfish because he gave us allowances more than he had for himself...maybe lazy is more appropriate..?). He's sick of cleaning up everyday but wouldn't let me do the cleaning up.....
They have had disagreements over this issue a few times already, so mum is already cooking less but she will make lunch for AN at least.
I am in no position to speak up. This is not my home, and I'm not doing anything constructive each day (they only allow me to handle the kids). I can't side mum, although I had defended her when dad complains about her. And mum is soo pissed off with dad that she's mumbling about divorce again. And that is frustrating....divorce at this age? But I do feel her, given that my dad had been rather selfish since they were young. He never helped her with us and when he speaks up about us, it's something negative. Never once had he appreciated her, not even a word of thanks for her leaving her job to care for us because grandma had to leave us to take care of our younger cousins.
Mum too, never saw anything worth complimenting about dad.
They both only had negative thoughts about each other. (do I see my own marriage moving that direction too?)
I feel like a culprit. If not for AN, they would not need to fight over this. I'm contemplating bringing AN home so mum can work (since mum always enjoys working). And the kitchen won't required daily scrubbing, so dad will probably be less grumpy.
I cook for ER anyway. It won't make any difference preparing a larger portion for AN.
And for dinner, we already thought of ordering tingkat since after my confinement ended.
But I'm worried that if I bring this topic up, mum will blame dad for causing us to have to decide on a less comfortable arrangement and the anger may evolve into hatred. I'm not exaggerating. She can't stand the sight of my dad these days....
What should I do? Wait for things to be back to normal? It will, but the root cause is still there. Problems aren't solved. Or should I daringly suggest and ignore what that may spark off?
Oh...gosh.
So, what's the argument about? Dad told mum off because he didn't think she needs to cook daily. But mum cooks daily because she didn't want AN to eat out everyday. I am on mum's side on this and secretly wonders why my dad can be so selfish (updated: I cannot say my dad is selfish because he gave us allowances more than he had for himself...maybe lazy is more appropriate..?). He's sick of cleaning up everyday but wouldn't let me do the cleaning up.....
They have had disagreements over this issue a few times already, so mum is already cooking less but she will make lunch for AN at least.
I am in no position to speak up. This is not my home, and I'm not doing anything constructive each day (they only allow me to handle the kids). I can't side mum, although I had defended her when dad complains about her. And mum is soo pissed off with dad that she's mumbling about divorce again. And that is frustrating....divorce at this age? But I do feel her, given that my dad had been rather selfish since they were young. He never helped her with us and when he speaks up about us, it's something negative. Never once had he appreciated her, not even a word of thanks for her leaving her job to care for us because grandma had to leave us to take care of our younger cousins.
Mum too, never saw anything worth complimenting about dad.
They both only had negative thoughts about each other. (do I see my own marriage moving that direction too?)
I feel like a culprit. If not for AN, they would not need to fight over this. I'm contemplating bringing AN home so mum can work (since mum always enjoys working). And the kitchen won't required daily scrubbing, so dad will probably be less grumpy.
I cook for ER anyway. It won't make any difference preparing a larger portion for AN.
And for dinner, we already thought of ordering tingkat since after my confinement ended.
But I'm worried that if I bring this topic up, mum will blame dad for causing us to have to decide on a less comfortable arrangement and the anger may evolve into hatred. I'm not exaggerating. She can't stand the sight of my dad these days....
What should I do? Wait for things to be back to normal? It will, but the root cause is still there. Problems aren't solved. Or should I daringly suggest and ignore what that may spark off?
Oh...gosh.
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