Maen

Mae,

I dreamt of you last night. Was it because you were thinking of me?

I dreamt we were back together and I couldn't stop crying as I hugged you. You kept really still in my arms.

But I woke up and hated that moment of reality when I realized you were not home with me. I wasn't cuddling you. My face was wet. I had been sobbing in my sleep. I shut my eyes tight and hope to sleep again. I want to go back to cuddling you.

The busy-ness of life takes my mind off you each day. But when memories of us together comes back, it hits hard.

Of the many times I dreamt of the both of you, this is the first few that I actually post. I'm not worthy to even speak of you and Baileys.

But my heart still aches for both of you.

AN asked if we can have dogs in future. I told her I only want the both of you back. I don't know how many more years in future will you still have. But the Lord will be really merciful to me if I ever get to spend your last days with you.

I miss you, babies. I miss you so much it hurts.....

Taking Risks

Last year when her sister informed her that her son will be getting married this year, MIL bluntly told her: "I don't know if I'll be around. I may be away on a holiday."

Selfish reply. When one informs you a year in advance, you make that day free. Not as if it's official matters... Who's the one who keeps shoving her "family is important. One MUST not lose their relationship with distant relative" value into our face? So damn double standard.

And because nobody dated her for a holiday during this period, she has no excuse to be absent.

Now, she blames SIL: "You are always working. You should keep in touch with the family in Malaysia...blah..blah".

Oh, work is less important than holiday. What lousy standards she has...

She kept poking at SIL till SIL got defensive and started explaining that she has a business deal and all. She got upset at the 'excuses' and snapped back: "If you are not going, then forget it. I'm ok with it. Stop giving excuses already. Let's stop talking about it."

1 minute later, she starts chewing on SIL's unavailability again.

She suggested bringing the nieces in by herself. For obvious reasons, SIL refused.

She then confidently announced: "I'm such a detailed and careful person. You can trust me with your girls."

Detailed? Careful? People who read my updates about her already know she's EXTREMELY careless! And I don't update every lousy encounter.

That reminds me:

I was holding AN and MIL wanted to hold ER. Mr Liow had his hands full with grocery bags.

We came to the escalator and I was on alert mode because ER was with the careless grandma. I made sure AN was safely within a step, turned to ER and saw MIL let go of him right where the steps were moving, to clutch her handbag and hold onto there rail, herself!

My then 18 month old innocently tried to step onto the moving escalator by himself.

I quickly grabbed him and led him down a couple of steps to where AN was standing!

If I trusted her, ER would have fallen off the escalator!

She saw me guiding ER down and suddenly realized she forgot him. She was apologetic. I just smiled but was very very upset. ER COULD HAVE FALLEN DOWN THE ESCALATOR!!

SIL was short of telling her right in the face she's is NOT a careful person and she doesn't want to lose any of her daughters in Malaysia!

Respect mum. SIL did well, but not according the unappreciative mum. Because SIL didn't obey her commands to attend the wedding that she wouldn't attend too if her friends dated her for an overseas trip...

The trip to Jurong Bird Park last Friday was a display of my forbearance. She held a huge umbrella over her head the whole time, poking whoever was in her way.

Mr Liow and SIL, even the elder niece reminded her to be careful because she got poked in the head each time they walked near each other. Just casual reminders. But she got upset, shouting back at SIL "I'm not a little kid. Stop telling me what to do!"

Loud enough to attract the attention of the surrounding crowd.

Regardless of how selfish she is, she's my elder, a family forced onto me by the legal system here. It's my husband's duty to tolerate her. I will comply and have keep my mouth shut to every bit of her nonsense since 15 years ago.

I hope she leaves me alone.

Do not antagonise me, or mess with my kids. I too, will not let her take them into Malaysia by herself.

She needs to stop thinking that highly of herself.

AN's Curls

AN has longer hair this time than when I curled her hair for the first time.

This time I used the curling tong on her hair instead of the twisted hair curler.

She likes it better this time, so much that she wanted it again. hehe.

When I feel compelled to be the breadwinner

This is the first time in my life that I feel so strongly motivated to be the one earning the dough and so that Mr Liow can stay home.

With the top-most being the queerest human ever, I really wish he can throw the letter and just leave.

He slogged for him but his promotion had been postponed once, just so that the boss can post someone else out. Because the boss dislikes that guy.

Just because the boss dislikes that guy, he got posted out to where Mr Liow would have deservingly gotten to the next step.

Just because he is in a powerful position, he could overwrite all requests and attempts even from another powerful man over at the other side.

It's about who's more powerful.

And it appears the same thing is going to happen again. With some wild accusations going on and ridiculous work load (because the others have left the force, all thanks to this extremely hard-to-work-for superior and no replacements), the hubby is drowning with responsibilities.

Not after having shed a major 'secretarial' post that posted a year and achieving much during that period.

No rewards (if being delayed for promotion counts as reward), only verbal appreciation then.

When bosses up there can't agree, the people down there suffers. You do ehay one says, the other points points finger at you and asks you why you had to comply. When you agree with the other, you get questioned, yet again.

Power struggle in the truest form.

They don't make you do things. They make you decide, and then grille you.

What's more evil?

But mr Liow will survive.

He's a fighter.

And I'm working towards saving him from it all.

kids are growing up. I'll soon be able to take on more.

My mum, my daughter and I

We were having dinner yesterday my parents' place.

I was helping AN cool her porridge and mum was scooping fried onions into mine.

I noticed mum scoop without draining the oil and I complained that I didn't want so much oil in my food. Then I turned to my complaining daughter who said she didn't want something in the porridge.

It must have been comical to watch how a mum and a daughter behaves in each other's presence, no matter how old they already are.

Lol!

Pretty Peep Toes

Choosing the right pair of shoes to wear for Ah gu's wedding weren't easy either.

There were other pretty ones we saw but she didn't want to try them on because, for once, she was allowed to get a pair with a tiny bit of 'heels'. Those pretty ones were flat.

Many of those with 'heels' didn't look pretty enough.

Mr Liow caught sight of this pair which looks so sweet and had 'heels' after she tried on a couple.

She loved it, so do we!

He's so cute!

I told him he's cute and he agrees with me. Not humble. Lol!