Happy New Year of the Lizards

What a memorable end to 2012.....

2 lizards in 15 mins:
- First (spotted by AN crawling on the ceiling) was terminated (sorry but I really cannot live with lizards under the same roof).

- Second (that showed itself while I was clearing the earlier evidences of murder) is hiding for dear life.

The superstitious cell in me is jeering: "One lizard for the year that has past, one for the new year! Many more lizards to come!"

This is it. I can never live another day looking anywhere else but the floor and walls....

Happy New Year, Dear.

Edited:
Mr Liow got the second one @ 2357hrs. The lizard didn't cross over to the new year with us.

I know reading about dying lizards make some of you uncomfortable. My apologies.

For now, the house should be temporarily lizard-free till further notice.

Dear lizards, there are people who appreciate your capability in keeping the insect populations under control and welcome you with open windows and doors.

It'll be much safer for you and your clan to work for the appreciative human.

Please try not to enter gaps of a particularly strong lemongrass-smelling house. Lemongrass is supposed to keep you out, just in case you were not briefed when you were younger.

Happy New Year to all! I think we can all sleep better tonight..

Just a Petty Record

This is nothing worth writing and reading about, but I just want to remember how a person can be so pretentious:

Long ago (during our poly days), days after they shifted, she couldn't find some shoes. That fateful weekend, I had a date with Mr Liow but he had to postpone our meeting time till further notice. He wasn't too happy but he had no choice coz his mum, now my MIL, was kicking up a fuss about finding her shoes. Even his dad was ransacking boxes to find them and I remembered Mr Liow complaining that his mum hadn't stopped grumbling since that morning.

I remembered, because I wondered why she had to be so upset over just shoes, and why because of her shoes, I couldn't meet her son. Was young then, those were childish thoughts.

Now, it's our turn to shift. Obviously, things go missing. And I don't think either Mr Liow or myself were urgently looking for anything (I was looking for something most women need on a monthly basis but went to buy some after searching the earlier boxes in vain).

When she saw me searching (but didn't know what I was searching for), she calmly counseled me: "It's like that. I have shifted house before and I know. Things go missing. Slowly look for your stuff. Be patient."

Ha! Firstly, I wasn't kicking up a fuss and making the whole family find what I need. Secondly, I do not have the luxury to "slowly look" for what I need to prevent some bodily fluids from creating a mess. Can't find, go buy. Simple. I don't know what she's trying to teach me.

I just keep silent.

Neatly Packed

I'm a neat, clean and safety freak when it comes to kids' stuff. They rely on me to know where to find what, for safety and cleanliness. (As long as ER's airways don't get clogged, I can live with any amount of dirt!)

But I'm a super absent-minded mum. Thus arranging stuff in their room takes not just meticulous planning, but constant self-reminder where I keep what. There are invisible post-its at every corner of the room that only my eyes can spy.

Being the monkey that ER is, I have to ensure furniture arrangements do not compromise his safety (or AN's, should she be dangerously near him when he's about to manifest a disaster). I need to foresee how he'll use the bookcase to climb up the ledge to get to the windows and in the process, either gets crushed by the toppling bookcase, or fall 5 storeys from that window. Sounds ridiculous, but trust me, he did try to get to that window the moment he sees an opportunity (the bookcase). I'm not taking chances.

So I took unimaginably longer than a non-mum can understand why.

Mr Liow has been sweet.

I couldn't care less about my own clothes. But he packed them all, neatly folded and categorised, onto the shelves for me.

That was something I never achieved since we moved back into Fernvale after returning from Tucson. I dumped my clothes into my cupboard and from that day on, I had to dig into a pile of mess to look for what I needed to wear.

Thanks dear, for helping me pack.

The boxes are slowly disappearing. Credits go to him too. I seriously have no idea where to even start storing belongings from these boxes.

Why do we have so much things?

Where do they come from?

Someone should help us lose a box: Out of sight, out of mind.

Today, Freedom

Finally I'm alone with ER today. I could do what I want, clean wherever I feel like without having to check for leaky garbage bag in kitchen or trails from it towards the rubbish chute, hair all over the house after blow drying, washing spit-out food from basin, feeling like someone's looking over my shoulder whenever I'm either giving medicines to ER, or clearing stuff. I even feel guilty placing anything in the study room which she's been referring to as her room.

I finally did. I put their easel table inside. In the whole house, that room is the neatest, and most empty. Whilst the whole house is still littered with boxes and bags, she has gotten that room ready, clothes all ironed and neat (her own..)

She said we can put things in her room. She's trying to sound reasonable and like she only needs a sleeping space. Very pitiful?

So pitiful that she can get more if she wants. Just do it, none of us can fight back. But she isn't. She's actually showing me benevolence and I should be grateful.

I'm still bitter. I'm not talking to her. I only respond to questions, speak only when spoken to.

I'm told she said she'll start sourcing for a place after CNY. Doesn't seem like it. She's infamous for changing her mind without bothering about what we think anyway.

I've been dumping stuff openly, things I used to value. Because if we do shift again in 4 years, the new place is tiny.

I'm constantly reminding everyone that we are down sizing.

That's the only point that got her to consider moving out, because there will be no space there.

But she probably will take time to desensitize that fact these few years. And join us through every stage of planning that never involved her from the beginning.

Why have I turned this heartless? Because I'm nothing....just some noise, like the traffic outside the house that shuts up once the windows are closed.

I'm waiting to see when she keeps to what she says.

Yamaha Book 3 Concert

Memory Singing Pretty Bouquet Little Bluebird Jingle Bells

Something old, Something New

Kids Are Down

ER had fever since the morning of Christmas and started coughing badly by evening.

AN had low grade fever from afternoon yesterday (Christmas day) and stated coughing slightly as well.

By this morning, AN was fine, except for occasional coughing. I'm really thank she's been really strong this year! Few fevers and cold/flu symptoms that she recovered relatively fast from.

ER hadnt been very well this year but I'm also thankful that he didn't have to be nebulized since October despite catching the cold/flu virus and having to go through the hazy period.

As of now, he's feeling terrible but the inhaler is working on him. He's panting, but not breathless.

We didn't get to spend Christmas eve with the ministry this year. Hope they recover by this weekend coz we have another celebration with the girls to make up for it.

Be well soon, kids!

That's Me.

AN: "Wow! The shoes outside the house so neatly placed. Wonder who packed them."

Him: "I think it's nai nai."

"No. I DID." AN heard me. He didn't.

We entered the house and he realized his mum wasn't home yet. He then wondered: "She's not back! Who could have packed these shoes?"

"Me. ME! I DID!!"

Irony of it was, she came back later in the night and kicked her shoes off at the other corner without even putting them together. They were, messily apart.

Now besides the house, I even have to share credit for maintaining my own house. And she's nowhere near my standard, to be frank.

Damn it. Really.

Moved

Whatever's left of Fernvale, only in pictures and our memory.

Falling Milk Teeth

AN complained about soreness coming from her bottom front tooth at my mum's. Kris felt it and told me it's shaking. That was on 18 December (coincidentally our 8th wedding anniversary)

My baby's first experience with a falling milk tooth!

She tells me it hurts once in a while but when it doesn't, she can eat hard food (like prata) without complaining. When the pain comes, it hurts even when she's drinking soup.

Our parents would have pulled it out but I read the tooth should fall out in about 5 days.

I don't have the guts to pull, so I'll wait.

AN told me the story about the tooth fairy leaving money for little children's teeth and reminded me to leave her tooth under her pillow so she gets paid when it falls.

I found that cute, till I read that we parents are the paying fairies.

lol!

Whatever makes my baby happy.

Last Night

19 December 2012
We're sleeping in our home, our very lovingly established home, for the last night.

But our last night is stark contrast to our peaceful first night. Back then, we indulged in our newfound freedom. Today, it is total chaos. Mad chaos. The kids enjoyed themselves play-pretending to live in a castle with boxes piled up high as castle walls. Fights are expected and they happen too often. Then someone comes crying in pain, or anger. That's usually AN. Because ER is indeed rough.

It really gets on my nerves!

Every move is different:

When AN was 1, we moved to Tucson. Packing was tedious but my parents could easily entertain her.

When AN was 3, we moved back. She was old enough and packing was only dreadful because we had lots of things.

This time, she's 5 and ER's 2. It's harder than ever! I don't even know how much harder.

So hard we are past bedtime but still I dare not stop packing.

Just wish for it to be over soon!

We Are Moving

It has taken us this long to update this:

We will be moving out tomorrow. I'm sure some of you would have guessed but Mr Liow insisted on keeping it a mystery for the past 6 months.

that's all for now.

argh...

"I have clothes I still want to wear tomorrow. and I'll pack my shampoo and shower foam tomorrow."

I said ok. We have things to bring over anyway. It doesn't necessarily have to be what she needs till then.

BUT

She has to carry on with a comment, slightly sarcastic: "Anyway you have your stuff still in the bathroom too."

And what's that supposed to mean? That I can't tell her to pack because I havent packed mine? That's the least important among the many things at home.

If it was SIL, there would have been a fight. She always thinks SIL wants to pick a fight.

Why won't she just listen to herself?

I don't need her to sneer at unpacked corners when we're already so busy.

Too bad for me, I just have to live with it. And I really hope not for too long.....

心寒了

Went to the new place yesterday. While I unpacked some stuff, she was busy checking the place out.

Fine. That was her first visit, so she probably was excited. She told the kids as we were making our way there: "We are going to see OUR new home!"

The way she she said "我们的新家", it sounded as if she was telling me there isn't anything I can do about it. You know, like "just face it".

Once at the new place, my dear hubby excitedly showed her around. I had been excited too.....till he brought her to the study room and said "this is your room."

My heart sank. Whatever excitement in me shattered. I felt as if I just fell 5 levels down from the balcony, but realised I was still standing there, savouring every moment of anger and increasing hate.

He asked me why I appeared upset. He was concerned if she said something nasty about the house that disturbed me.

NO!

PAST EVENTS, EVENTS THAT INVOLVE HER WHICH COME BETWEEN US, MY UNHEARD VOICE! THAT DISTURBS ME!

WHEN WILL ANYONE START SHOWING SOME RESPECT FOR MY OPINION!?

He said her staying with us is not final, that we just havent had time to talk about it.

So what if we talked?

I clearly remember how selfish she had been to us as we prepared to leave for Tucson in 2008. Those things she wanted from us, she kept PRESSING us to bring to her. She didn't help a wee bit hut was so damn concerned we would forget her things. And hw instead of appreciating, she scolded us for bringing those things to her because some stuff were bulky and she mistakenly thought it wasnt what she asked for.

My encounters with her selfishness cannot be explained in 1 post but friends who have been with me read my updates. Trust me, I do not update every incident. Stupid me. I wanted to forgive and forget sometimes. But it's not worth. Keep silent and people conveniently step on you.

Was saying, so I told him I didn't want my parents to bring her stuff back.

The last night, he asked my parents a last time ifthey could help.

Whatever shit discussion we had, my opinion was just shit. Plain noise. They ended up bringing those stuff back.

"We havent discussed". What are we going to discuss that will change everything?

She didn't even tell him she has decided to stay. She told me. Because obviously, I can't say no, right?

Better still, he went to tell her our study room is HER room.

How do we salvage anything from now?

JUST SHUT UP, LIVE WITH IT. ACCEPT THE FACT THAT NO BLOODY OPINION YOU MAKE WILL MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE, OK? JUST SWALLOW IT!

No need to discuss anything. She made it so hard for us to even bring up such a sensitive issue. Had she waited long enough for us to invite her to stay? So to protect herself, if she said she wants to stay, we, the younger generation, will hv not choice but to take it. This is such a sensitive topic and she obviously is taking advantage.

Who cares a single shit about what I think or say?

Who cares?

WHO CARES??!!

My opinion doesn't count.

JUDY, YOUR OPINION DOESN'T COUNT!

GET IT???

SHUT UP AND MOVE ON.

STOP HOPING FOR A MIRACLE. MIRACLES DON'T HAPPEN TO YOU, JUDY.

Live With It

She wants to give my kids $200 each every month, to save up.

I said they have saving plans. That will be sufficient. I insisted they are well taken care of.

Hours later, she's back at the same topic, with the real reason: "Since I'm now staying with you, expenses will increase. I've decided to stay on. Other people will gossip if I move out. This should help with utility bills."

So she has decided to stay.

I can't ask her to leave. I can't ask my hubby to suggest she doesn't make our place her permanent home. He will not ask her to reconsider.

The decision is final. So convenient.

She was the one who insisted she wants to have her own place. Then she's worried about gossips now.

Frankly, I'm depressed by her decision. I really am not prepared to stay with her.

I hate it that we are now back in Singapore with the mums interfering in even the most subtle ways, the things we do with our kids.

But we HAD a home to return to, where the kids gets adjusted back to rules and regulations.

The home is no longer mine. I either voice out my displeasure and risk being labelled as a difficult DIL or suffer in silence.

I prefer no sweeping at home and did tell her but she insisted she prefers to sweep. Despite me telling her that ER has sensitive airways and is prone to bronchitis.

And how carelessly she held the spoon with the back sticking out and barely missed poking ER in the eye........my heart almost jumped out. Thank God for protecting my boy!

And how we've been taking turns to have diarrhoea (even AN who hardly complains about stomachache...)

And how I see puddles of water in the kitchen from who-knows-where.

And how she hangs those clothes in the drying rack overhead with clothes stuck at odd edges and then they go out of shape.

So many differences. I'm difficult. I'm a perfectionist in this sense. I want my home to be the way I want it to be.

I no longer can.

She wants to help. It's goodwill. But then what do I do? How do I get my neat, dry, whatever-sparkled-must-sparkle, pest-free environment back?

I don't have to like it. I just have to take it. It's unfair to me. Why do I have to? Why must I be made to choose between living in agony or telling the truth about how I feel. Obviously, I can only be truthful in my blog. I can never tell her "I don't want to live under the same roof as you."

So even if someone asked me for my opinion, I won't tell the hurtful truth.

Stupid Judy. You deserve to have things happen to you because you are a coward.

Test of Sanity

Put the kids at my mum's.

One sleeps, the other loiters...

I scold this one, and then the other, and then this one, and then the other.

Mum encourages AN to draw for a competition and AN starts. 5 mins later, mum blames me for delaying AN's nap.

I only to keep things within my control at hm (not anymore now.....)

All hell break loose. There's not a moment of rest to regain sanity. Not even when I'm shitting. Not a single moment.

Calls for servicing or delivery usually involve background interference: fights, requests, screams. When they need to bug me, it has to be when I'm occupied.

This is a phase.

Sigh.....

But it is exhausting.

What Competes My Day

With kids who survive on air and water alone (at least for first 4 years of life), it makes me happy just to see them interested in food.

I don't like senseless snacking.

When I was pregnant with AN, I told myself I'll never give my kids sweets like MIL gave the nieces (a tube of Fruit Tips in a bowl, each. Every day.) I don't think anyone does that anyway.

When AN came, and started solids, I realized choice of snack is crucial. It gives her the energy and calories to grow because I couldn't rely on her meals. She just didn't like to eat!

So, I stopped guarding against salt, sugar and seasoning. And she ate what I cooked for ourselves. She didn't want rice, only wanted the vegetables. So be it.

Was a horror feeding her back then.

I gave her ice-cream for supper because she didn't enjoy milk. And I offered her chocolates. We made brownies together and she looked forward to eating the brownies she made.

She started nibbling. Better than nothing.

I'm trying to do the same with ER now. He's all skin and bones :(

I eat chocolates in front of him, a lot. But her never showed interest, till 2 days ago. He took a bite and that would be it. I know why I'm expanding. I'm eating 70% of ER's snacks. High calorie ones.

He still doesn't like ice-cream. That will have to change, if I sacrifice my waistline.

And he's starting to be interested in the Sarah Lee cake in the fridge. Because it's chocolate cake.

Yeah!

He had a full cup of milk (240mls) and half a slice of cake last night.

I'm super happy. Lol!

Still, no sweets. There are enough sugary snacks to give them sugar rush, and I rather they eat something sugary (if they have to) WITH NUTRIENTS THAT BENEFIT THEM.

Documenting this picture because he rarely eats like this!

Here to Stay

- She needs the new address so that she can change the address on her IC

- She bought many extra hangers

- She says we are not supposed to let everyone know what happened exactly. If anyone wonders, tell them she's going to stay with us from now on.

And when I thought better of her because she mentioned she wont tell me more about her fight with SIL (which I thought was the fairest comment from her since I met her), I realized I was just gullible.

She said her good friend's daughter is a little loony in the head. And she thinks she's in the same shoes, that it's her misfortune she has SIL as her daughter, forgetting how sweet SIL had always been with her, obviously except when they argue.

The friend's daughter was made out to sound like a loafer who wishes her dad dead through sms every other day. SIL gave MIL a private place to stay when MIL wants to rent her place out. And SIL showered her with (branded) gifts and praises every once in a while.

But she thinks she is in the same plight as her friend.

And she even commented "these ang mos are brainless, anyhow find a woman to marry", referring to SIL's hubby?

I'm starting to believe SIL who said MIL called her a prostitute for always getting home late from work.

Those unkind words MIL used on her. That's just tip of the ice berg.

So, yes. I'm wrong. She still doesn't think she played a part in this failed mother-daughter relationship. It's all her bad daughter's problem, non of hers.

Thankful that she's not my mum.

But then, so what?

Who's This?

Mr Liow thinks I look like Tanya Chua. I didn't think so. Or probably there is some resemblance afterall?

P.s: This is Tanya Chua's picture by the way. Hehe.

Not Superstitious

"The first day you move in, you have to buy rice and oil. Throw the rice for good luck."

Long time ago, we didn't have a choice. It's not my call to obey or defy. No one defies instructions from up there.

And then weeks after our wedding, I found four $1 coins, one at each corner of our wedding bed.

She sneakily put it there despite me insisting that I won't want to do that.

And I won't know, till I changed bedsheets for the first time.

I am staying out of her way now that we're staying together, hopefully not forever. I thought she had not been that domineering for the past weeks as well.

But I am prepared that once she's comfortable where she now is, her instinct to be 'helpful' will surface.

And so it is. The same old rubbish about throwing rice.

Mr Liow said we are not superstitious and she said she isn't too.

*roll eyes*

That's not superstition. What's that?

She said it's better to believe.

I'm no longer that young, dumb and coward DIL 8 years ago.

Her "you guys don't pray enough, god won't bless you." And a church's preschool teacher who hadn't pursued 4 years of no increment in pay because the teacher is serving the Lord, she thinks she is stupid.

I am unsure if we are praying to the same God. My God has no "Terms and Conditions" in His love for us. He doesn't need "tools" to bless our home. Neither does He bless us only when we pray.

I made it clear that if she wants to buy these for THAT PURPOSE, I'll throw them away.

Please, don't suggest anymore. She's helping only when she's free anyway. I don't know how to appreciate those "help".

Clumsy Landing

Haven't fallen for a long time and when I do, it has to make an impression.

Hurts. Ouch.

I know I'm too fat when AN tells me so

AN: "Mummy, your tummy is so big and your butt is so fat."

And she proceeds to demonstrate my posture by sticking her butt out to emphasize the "fat butt".

Then she rubs it in further by suggesting: "Mummy, you should give birth, then your tummy will not look this big."

Duh.........why did I give birth to a daughter?

Fever

ER is having fever, 3rd day now. He's 37.8°c now and highest at 39.1°c last night.

There had been no signs of any other discomfort besides the fever. But there's a swell on his left eye lids. And he's blinking his eyes hard.

I thought it could have been his hair getting into his eyes and trimmed some, my first attempt at cutting his hair and he now looks funny. lol! That didn't keep him from blinking.

Then I realize he only starts blinking hard when he's watching the TV. He's ok otherwise.

Dry eyes? Eye infection (but no redness except for the swollen lid that looks like he knocked into it more than it looks infected.)?

He had runny nose and a little cough 2 weeks ago but thank God that didn't result in bronchitis.

It's almost a week since he got better. What can the fever be due to?

And the blinking eyes.

Sigh...

At this rate he's growing, he's going to be a very small boy. :( and hopefully not undernourished...

And I already see his rib cage.

How leh...

Descriptive

We were lying belly down, looking through ER's favorite Animal Book when he looked up, pointed at my cleavage and exclaimed excitedly: "I see TUNNEL! A TUNNEL!"

-_____-"

A Reason to Be Kind

I don't need a reason to be kind, not unless I need to convince myself to rise up beyond my dislike for someone.

Wont you agree that it's always easier to be kind to those who have been kind to you?

When I suggested passing what we will not need in 3 weeks time to them who have shown us much kindness (that's what has been translated to me, unless it isn't what I've been told), I was looked in the eyes and questioned: "Why do you have to be so nice??"

I don't have to be. If you have other plans, go ahead and implement them. I just thought if the remaining quarter of what's unused will be going to waste, why not share?

I don't see why my kind intentions should be questioned.

Like my MIL stays at us now. Do I need a reason to be kind like I am to her? I assured her that she can stay for as long as she wants. She said she will look for another place (because she has a home that she wants to continue renting out, for money. She wants to still be able to afford to travel long haul and satisfy her material wants, NOT BECAUSE SHE'S HOMELESS, unlike other poor elderly who have no homes.)

So, while I offered her a place under our roof for as long as she likes, she replied she wants her own place and will shift out someday.

I rose above myself and showed kindness. I could have shut up and made her feel unnecessary and unwelcome. I'd frankly love to and trust me, I am trained to be unkind whenever necessary now. Like her, I don't have to be nice when I don't like to. Told you she's bad influence, didn't I?

Now, she's subtly asking for a cabinets at our new place to store her stuff. That I understand, because her stuff are all in luggages. But is there a reason why I should be kind?

She will get that big wardrobe in our originally planned study/play room. Now that will become HER room and  there goes my original plan of separating AN and ER's clothes for neater storage. It's something I've been looking forward to but have no space for currently.

Because of her, I have to change my plans and still NOT have enough storage. Tell me, why should I be that kind then? To always be accommodating her?

She questioned us when we asked her to help us bring a tiny piece of clothing for Mr Liow's cousin's toddler when we were in Tucson. She questioned us, like how I was questioned this time: "Why do you have to be so nice?" And then she refused to help us bring it back.

If you guys remembered, she bought so many things for  HERSELF that she couldn't bring them with her either.

MY PARENTS HAD TO BRING HER STUFF BACK FOR HER. AND I REMEMBERED BECAUSE I AM PISSED.

Tell me why then, do my parents have to be so kind?

If we need a reason to be kind, my parents wouldn't agree to bring her stuff back for her when SHE thought it was ridiculous of us to have gotten a flat piece of outfit for the toddler and waste her luggage space.

Why should my parents be kind???

I am kind because I have been shown kindness. The world has enough selfish people. We met enough selfish people and hate encounters with such people. Why then, can't we make a difference?

I wasn't even suggesting going above and beyond our convenience, to share what we have with these people who had been kind to us. I was just suggesting we do not waste what's left over.

Or if we can do something else, let's do it another way.

The last thing I need is to be questioned for being kind. In fact, I don't need that.

If I have to give a reason for every act of kindness I show, I'll hack it and firmly insist that I will NOT accommodate her and that she leave before we shift. I don't need a reason to inconvenience myself for her.
There's no reason to.

That Gaze

We went to watch Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn last Thursday. The first one I watched, I fell asleep. Not a single bit captivated back then.

This time, because Mr Liow was on leave and we had to watch something but our first choice of local production Ah Boys to Men was sold out, we went for Breaking Dawn.

And I'm in love with that show!

The beautiful cast, the melancholy of the plot, the story, the music......

And Mackenzie Koy!

This little girl has a familiar gaze. The way she looks on at people around her reminds us of our little girl back home. If only AN is less of a chatterbox. Lol!

I'm going to rewatch Part 1.

Fire In the Hole

Both kids were enjoying a bubble bath together when AN screamed: "Mummy! ethan pooped in the bath tub!"

I rushed in to see her tiptoe-ing at the furthest end from the floating mash of poop which was disintegrating and dissolving at top speed, into the previously lavender-scented bath water, and hurriedly rescued her to wash her clean. She's so disgusted with ER, insisting he did it on purpose.

Lol! lololol!

ER freaked out too! (I can die laughing!) He observed AN's disgust and trusted that if jie jie thinks it's disgusting stuff, it has to be. He started screaming and panicking while daddy scratched his head, wondering how best to settle the shit that will, without a doubt, melt into his hand, should he try picking it up.

I suggested letting the water go first and then pick up whatever is left. And to remember to scrub that baby clean!

I had to Dettol the tub after cleaning it with body foam.

It's going to be a while before she asks to bath with ER again.

Lol!

Ethan's here

I like to pretend I can't find him. And he trained himself to inform us "Ethan's here!"

Soooo cute!

Updates

ER
ER started having runny nose about 2 weeks ago. It didn't blossom into the dreaded bronchitis! He's either outgrowing it, or Flixotide did help. It was purely managing the usual cough and runny nose without much emphasis on his panting, which didn't happen for the second time it threatened to attack. Thank God!

ER's potty training is still in progress. I've no guts to take away diapers. Am only putting him on potty on a more regular basis. He's not ready. He pees randomly and doesn't tell me when he needs to go. But he does look down at his diapers as he pees. And he feels the warmth of fresh pee seeping into his diaper with his hands. I'll inform him that he peed and has to tell me if he needs to go.

He is able to pee on command though (unless he peed not too long ago). I'll put him on the potty, he goes "mmmmm" and pee shoots out, even if it's only a couple of drops. Hehe.

He's going through the terrible two. There are extremely difficult days and extremely enjoyable ones.

He's getting difficult to put to bed at night, screaming to be let out to continue playing regardless of how late.

Eating is still his struggle, as is feeding him MY test of patience.

AN
AN is improving on her reading and word recognition BUT she forgot some small letters! I panicked when I realised she forgot how to write "h" in small caps and gets confused with "b" and "d".

Omgoodness....

What else?

Ermm...

These few weeks had been busy. Something's going to change but Mr Liow wants to keep it a surprise. When it finally happens, I'll announce. BUT! I am NOT pregnant

That's about all to update for now.

:)

Good Idea

Terrible Two IS painful to go through...

But thank God for AN.

Was clearing the house by giving, selling and throwing stuff. Met a buyer this afternoon and AN was great help holding and passing me what I needed.

I gave the buyer our only paper bag to hold the 2 items she bought, and hugged the remaining 5-6 loose items back to the car. She helped carry some.

Then she laughed: "Mummy, next time you bring an extra plastic bag so that when you give one away, we still have one more to carry all these things."

Yes madam, I will do that the next time.

Hehe.

Terrible Two

This "terrible two" symptoms is worse than his sister's.

I almost forgot the intensity of it, till we're back at it again. Like labour pain, the tantrums, the screams and struggles leave an impression.

AN asked, right after I exploded at ER: "Shall we have another baby?"

What? Another addition to the rivalry, fights, disobedience, tantrums, mess and the list goes on?

She reasoned: "Not just that. You will have one more to sing to you. It makes you happy when we sing together for you right? One more baby will make you even more happy. Ethan and I will teach him to sing."

My sweet girl, thanks for subtly reminding me that mummyhood does not end at "Terrible Two".

With a sweet sister (not without her own set of struggles though), I'm sure ER will learn well..

Self Declared Parking

AN parked her scooter outside.

Little one saw but attempted to 'drive' his sister's tricycle into their room.

He got stopped and asked to park it outside. Properly.

Not very proper. He'll need to practise more on his parking.

The Most Patient Mum

We went on several trips with the Ngs in 2010. KJ was reaching two then, and at that age where most mums experience the legendary Terrible Two.

Back then, whenever I saw Mummy S so patiently guide KJ along, I would be awed, and shamed that I'm not even a quarter as patient. I saw flashbacks of AN's 'terrible' days and I shuddered.

No matter how KJ acted up, she would always be gentle and comforting. I had never even seen her frown. It's like she is blessed with NO temper and super patience!

2 and half years later, the daddy met up yesterday for a run.

I asked about them and reminisced about our trips. I recalled Mummy S' superhuman patience.

Mr Liow whispered in wonderment: "No...she's changed!"

Hmm...so the guys do gossip....I mean, talk..the guys do talk about their wives.

WG said she's constantly upset with KJ now. She would always stomp into the house if she was the one fetching KJ from school.

WG said KJ is a handful (which most kids are).

That behaviour is all familiar to me. I enjoy my fair share of being blown up by my off springs.

But I can't imagine Mummy S blowing up.

Thank you dear, for sharing.

This made me feel like I'm normal. I still can't picture Mummy S looking angry. I'm just glad I'm not the only challenged mummy around.

Hehe.

AN, ER's Security?

ER just woke up screaming and after about half hour of coaxing, we realized he wanted cold water to drink. He calmed down after we understood his request, drank and little and then agreed to return to the room to sleep.

Once back, he laid beside me for a while before finding his way to AN, snuggled beside her and hugged her from behind.

Almost instinctively, AN turned towards him and hugged him. I thought he woke her up but saw that AN was still fast asleep (she even made the 'tsk tsk' sound with her throat, something she used to do when she nursed to sleep. She still does that when fast asleep.)

Now they both of them are hugging and sleeping together.

Omg....

That's a such a precious sight...

Sweet Girl

Ok, I'm not hospitalized this time. Thank God! Was really feeling terrible last night after throwing up twice and passing liquid stools. I was really fearful and couldn't stop praying. I took diamenate which is a way, put me into a state of hallucination. I drifted in and out of dreams and almost couldn't tell when ER was disturbed out of his sleep (he rolled out of his comfort zone).

Saw the GP this morning to get more meds. I'm hit by stomach virus so much I run out of such meds fast.

MIL was around, so she helped me with ER and housework. Am thankful for her help!

AN is my sweet sweet girl.

After having been 'tortured' by cranky ER who had no nap this afternoon but refused to sleep even though he was obviously tired, I lost my cool and shouted at him "No, we are not going outside!" He wanted to get out of the room.

AN was concerned and asked why I shouted "ouch". She thought I hurt myself.

I told her I lost my patience and raised my voice at ER but she was so sympathetic. She assured me that she could hear me coz she was in daddy's room and it's just next door, which was why she could hear. Not because I was loud.

My dear girl...

And because she knew I was unwell, she actually patted my back as I turned to nurse ER who FINALLY stopped resisting sleep.

I love how she patted me: soooo gentle, assuring and loving.

My girl is growing up and I love what she's turning into. I pray she continues growing up to be sweet, understanding and affectionate.

I told her I love her so so much and she replied: "Mum, I love you more than so so much."

I love you Adrielle, more than I can tell you.

Stomach Flu Again?

I had been tossing in bed but couldn't sleep. Didn't feel right. Been wondering if I should go pop some panadols for flu.

Then I got the urge to poop. What came out was liquid stools, afterwhich I threw up!

Oh no.......

Not again!

Sick

Mr Liow got his flu shot last week and ER started dripping mucus yesterday.

AN looked a little off weather today and she's sniffing a little.

Me? Was fine, till I suddenly started sneezing continuously after dinner and my nose hasn't stopped leaking since.

What's worse? ER had been tossing for 2 hours and is still not sleepy.

I'm extremely tired now, and extremely touchy!

Hate sickness.

ABHOR it!

I'm tired, sick and upset that I'm still not allowed to rest after a long day today.

And I've been hearing "I woke up at 5am this morning...so tired."

How about finally knocking out at 1am last night but waking up hourly to the baby with stuffed nose? And then waking up at 7am to attend the PTM, then rush to prepare the kids for the wedding lunch?

I know I sound unreasonable. It IS tiring for those who have gotten out of bed since 5am AND for me who's gotten hardly any sleep at all.

Just shows how cranky I really am now. I really cannot fall sick....please dont attack me........

And there's AN's music class tomorrow.

I can NOT fall sick........

Anyway, I'm giving ventolin together with Flixotide just twice a day since yesterday, just to prevent ER's bronchitis from acting up.

He can't suckle.....please do not choke and throw up tonight....

Parent-Teacher Meeting (PTM)

It's the half yearly meetup with AN's teacher again. The last one in June, I was having fever and couldn't attend but the nice teachers would feedback whenever we meet at the door during pickup time.

Project (Miss Sue)
This year's project is about our earth, about protecting it and disasters etc.

AN still talks about Tucson! Miss Sue says that AN talks about Tucson very often. Guess it's because we don't see much of nature in Singapore and topics like hail storm and sand storm were stuff she experienced back there.

She's less of a chatterbox this time (AN explained that she talked to Vovo during Miss Sue's class previously coz Vovo doesn't understand English and she was helping to translate.)

AN loves lapbooking, something they are now doing. Miss Sue knew we used to do this when AN was younger and said AN is still very enthusiastic about these sessions.

Chinese (Miss Hao)
AN is very easily distracted during chinese writing time. She fiddles with her pencils and the what-nots in her pencil case. Needs lots of prompting and reminder to focus.

Miss Hao is all praises for AN's 'smartness', saying that with her street-smartness, she should be one of the best but she isn't. I get a feeling Miss Hao is trying not to tell me AN is one of the slowest learner in her class!

Uh-oh.

English/Math Montessori (Miss Ivy)
Totally opposite feedback from Chinese teacher.

AN has improved tremendously for this half year. She's more focused and learns well. Very interested too.

I asked about her being easily distracted and Miss Ivy said the kids are all the same. She only allows them a pencil and an eraser each during her lessons so they have nothing to fiddle with. She has no problems with AN (or any of the others for that matter) this way.

AN is reading the blue series now (forgot to ask what stage that is but I'll google when I have time) and tries new and challenging words by covering them part by part.

We do that at home but she will always complain that a particular word is too long.

Miss Ivy says AN bullies me. Hehe. Oh well. As long as she learns properly in school..

Next year's expectations will be different. Higher. I pray AN can keep up!

Baby Cooks For Me

Most Number of Syllabus

The longest sentence ER has spoken this far that's also coherent as well: "I wanna drink water."

Finally, a proper sentence!

Concert 2012

AN did her dance last Saturday with enthusiasm! She loves to imagine she's one of the dancers in the Disney shows and dances like them at home. And she gave her best on stage during this real performance. I'm a proud mum!

Broken Mum

She walked out to tell me her daughter chased her out and told her to change her address. Sil said she had tolerated the mum's nonsense for 38 years.

MIL sobbed.

No matter how disagreeable I am with her (MIL) behaviour, I could feel her brokeness.

That's something one should never say to their mum. It feels like death, with flashes of the past when the daughter was little and everything was perfect (almost).

I imagine AN or ER telling me that. My heart will probably stop beating.

Moral of the story:

Love my kids unconditionally. Maybe one day I'll be alone. But I live my remaining days with fond memories of loving them and having them love me back?

Leave them with more good memories than bad. I want them to remember me as loving.

A strict mummy can still be loving ok?

I better review AN's love language (she's been happy lately, so I guess her tank is relatively well filled. )

Hehe.

Not Unwelcome

The few things that bothered me was what values she's showing the kids (the nieces and our kids) through her behaviour.

"Do not teach me. SHOW me." That's something I hold on to in bringing up our kids.

Yesterday, she threatened to jump down from my SIL place. AN innocently asked me: "Mummy, nai nai say she wants to jump down. Jump down won't die?"

D@@@ it! WILL DIE! I told AN that her grandma is talking rubbish and that she (AN) MUST remember that she must never try that.

What d@@@ idea is she instilling in the heads of the 3 girls who understand what she's saying? Each has their own interpretation at their individual stage! The eldest is growing up and handing stress. Jump and die because things don't go her way? Even grandma considered that as an option!

Those constant moments of MIL relentlessly talking about money. Money. MONEY.

She links EVERY action to money. Even when a malaysian cousin got pregnant with twins, she gossiped that it's because they are too rich.

Who goes make herself pregnant, go through all the pain and takes on the permanent duty of bringing up their offspring, just because she is too rich?

That's brainless, not rich.



Why not because they love kids?? At least I prefer that AN consider kids in future because she is ready, NOT BECAUSE SHE HAS TOO MUCH MONEY!

Money makes HER world go round. And I hate how she never stops punctuating her sentences with "must have money", "only if you have the money".

Besides money, it's looking good. She criticises people who dress down. Nevermind the criticising. She emphasises that we MUST all dress well because others will look down on us if we do not. She repeats that to my kids.

No! No one looks down on them over shallow reasons like that, except shallow people like herself! Which is why I hate it when AN looks at people sometimes and innocently go "why that person wear that? Not nice at all.." And I have to remind her that we do not judge a person by their riches or what they wear.

Like that I told Mr Liow. Values start young. They become slaves to whatever you teach them from young. I don't want my kids to be money loving or material loving! I'm building foundation for them to be able to tell right from wrong later in life but here she comes weekly, to hammer holes in their foundation.

Now it's going to be daily.

So does it mean that because nai nai is not a millionaire, we shouldn't let her stay with us? That's what she's teaching isn't it?

I'm glad Mr Liow understood my worries but like I assured him, his mum can stay for as long as she wants. I understand she has nowhere else to go to because her home is rented out. Even if she just wants to stay with us regardless, I welcome her. I just need time to adjust.

Frankly, it would be better if she came over to stay not because she got chased out or ran away.

I told AN she came to stay because she also wants to be with them. Not interested to teach AN to run away from home with this bad example staring us in the face.

Yes, I lied.

But what is worse?

I'm going to my parents place this afternoon. I don't want to end up doing or saying something that displeased her. Not interested to lie on the chopping board and wait for things to happen.

And my kids need not go have to wonder what's happening.

I just want to protect my children.

Again

They quarrelled, and she got 'invited' out of the house by SIL...

Forbearance has a limit. The limit is reached yet again.

I heard that she threw food but Mr Liow didn't include that when I asked.

So, let's see what's going to happen next.

There's always our place at her beck and call whenever she doesn't get it her way there. Because she will always get it her way with me?

So, is it not a blessing in disguise that I'm "too nice a person" like my hubby tells me? Because otherwise, he will be in a worse position than he can be at times like these...

Ideally, I shouldn't not nice at all. Why should I, right?

................

We probably should have taken the kids with us to shop for aircon today.

Sigh....

SIGH!

This is it. The day is here.

Honesty in Training

ER is into imitating his sister recently.

AN: "Ouch! Ethan! I'm going to tell mummy!"

ER: "Ah tell nai nai."

AN stomped into the kitchen and complained.

"Mummy! Ethan beat me!"

From where we were, I heard the boy head the opposite direction to my MIL, also to complain.

"Nai nai! Ah beat jie jie!"

That's honest.

Concert Outfit

AN will be doing as Aboriginal dance tomorrow in her concert: A Better Gaia Tomorrow Starts Today


She's so excited about tomorrow! Since the day she brought her costume home, she's been counting down to Saturday.

We're looking forward to watching our little performer!

Potty Update

3 times of success today!

Success 1:

Sat ER on the adult toilet with the kiddy seat attachment this morning and I whistled (a traditional way to get kids to pee that I've never used on AN and have no idea why I used it on ER today).

No pee. So I urged him to poop by going "mmmmm!" (the sound one makes to push poop out).

He copied me....and peed.

Moral of the story: tradition only works on those who believe in them.

Success story 2:

I was showering him and he told me: "pee pee". Then he looked down at his little buddy and peed.

Success story 3:

He jumped around urgently and shouted "poo poo!" while attempting to take his own diapers off. Once diaper-less, he ran to the potty (this time the kiddy potty, not the adults'), sat down and peed!

The potty sang music for him and he was so proud of that moment. So was I and AN who was home after school.

:)

Love Bite

According to AN, ER was playing with her, smearing her face with saliva when he "suddenly saw this (pointing to her right cheek) and bite me!"

Poor girl....the bite mark has turned into a little black bruise.

Bonding Time

ER Recites Brown Bear (Part of it)

Love of Her Life

A friend (K) lost her husband last evening after a long battle with the dreaded cancer.

They have 3 very young children with the eldest in K2 and youngest just a year old.

I remember the last time we met, it was during Mr Liow's promotion ceremony in 2007. They were there for the same thing. AN was only 3 months old and I chatted with K about everything kids-related. And then we had dinner together after the ceremony.

Shortly after, Mr Liow got to hear that the husband wasn't well. Along the way, we heard of him going through surgery to remove a tumor, recovered but then it came back most recently.

Just 2 days ago, their eldest daughter pleaded with him to attend her graduation concert (before she moves on to Primary 1) because she wants it to be perfect. He breathlessly replied that he'll try.

K is a strong woman. Very strong.

Yet life is so fragile.

We wonder what happens when one passes on. Do we open our eyes and see ourselves in heaven? Do we walk through the tunnel? What is it like?

A Day Out

Mr Liow volunteered to take care of ER today so I could bring AN out. Just my daughter and I!
AN asked to do sand art, so off we went to Nex.

We got there at about 10.30am but realized the art stall opens AFTER 12pm. Having lots of time on hand, we went shopping.

It's hard to resist shopping for a girl. I got her leggings, a necklace and a magnetic dress up set. She was super hungry by then, so we went for prata! Timing was perfect, because she was hungry before starting on the art work. If it was the other way around, she probably would have missed lunch.



I had a great time with her and I think she did too. We laughed and joked and she hugged me as she walked. It was such a lovely afternoon together that I suddenly wished that she is my only child. I missed giving her all these attention.

While waiting to do the sand art, AN asked to check out the puppies at Pet Safari.

We walked through rows of BM's favorite treats. I told AN what we used to buy for them. And I saw a ceramic bowl that was perfect for keeping their spaniel ears out of their food and it was only $7.90.

I told AN of my find and she looked at me sympathetically, squeezing my hand that she had been holding and softly reminded me: "Mummy, Baileys and Maen are not with us anymore. Don't be sad, don't cry anymore ok?"

Her words of consolation made me feel like laughing and crying at the same time.

We were done by 3.30pm and AN was hungry again. We grabbed some finger food before heading home. She fell asleep on the bus.

I totally forgot about the little boy at home with his daddy while outside, but the moment I stepped in the house and saw that adorable smile and heard his enthusiastic exclamation: "MUMMY!", I melted.

I seriously wish I can divide myself so that they don't have to live with divided attention.

I love my little ones.

Escaped Alive

My hero rushed home to save me.

He splashed hot water where I last saw it but nothing happened. He was about to give up when, according to him, he saw slight movement from corner of his eye.

He almost lost it but it came out from the other side and ran into the living room.

My brave hubby doesn't fancy being near a lizard but pursued the lizard with either an invitation OUT of the house, or pardon me, a quick end.

Sounds sadistic of us but they grow to fast, and forms a big family too fast as well. It's horrifying for them to live with us, and vice versa.

This one has a thick hide. It escaped.

Mr Liow stuffed towels below the door, hoping it doesn't find its way back.

*phew*

Like he said, we didn't kill a living thing tonight and saw it run out. We can sleep in peace.

P.s: I enjoy watching Mr Liow catch creepy crawlies for me. He's a joker and when he's cornered (by me to produce proof that the reptile is gone), he starts joking.

"Imagine the lizard has safely escaped to the other side of the kitchen and is watching us stupidly hunting the wrong place for it. It'll laugh till it falls off."

Lizard!

Haven't seen a lizard for some time. Of all days, it's here when Mr Liow is out.

I'm staring at it now.....and it's going into hiding.

my hair standing and I can't move.....

die....I'm done for the next few days unless Mr Liow sows me a dead corpse of it later.

I can't see it now!

Argh!

My Jewels

I've not worn anything around my neck since AN was born.

But without me noticing, I had been wearing necklaces of highest worth!

Praying Mantis?

I was clearing the toys without my glasses and almost dumped it into their toy bin. But it didn't feel familiar like any of their toys. To think I actually held it between my fingers

*shudders*

ER looked at me admiringly like I was some hero when he smiled and asked: "what's zat?", pointing to that bug I was holding.

I am not a hero.

I'm just myopic.

*sob*

2nd Potty Successful!

ER peed in the potty for the second time!

He didn't want to sit on the potty so I told him I'm getting him a new diaper and asked if he would wait for me sitting down.

He said "ok".

Before I got back in time, the potty started playing music (their potty does that when water hits the 'contact point').

I'm excited! I'm always taking him at the wrong time. Hope we get more 'hits' so that he gets the idea soon!

First one here:

http://littleflowertwointow.blogspot.sg/2012/10/er-first-pee-in-potty.html?m=0

Decoding Baby Talk

ER had been saying "I b you" for weeks now. Each time he does, he runs after AN with a 'weapon' (anything from lego to pillow). AN runs away screaming for help and I'll have to remind him that beating is wrong!

*sweats*

Then I noticed when he does that with his toys, he merely points the 'weapon' at the non-moving victims and warns: "I b you!"

He had only been mimicking sounds of a gunshot (& obviously not doing it well..). He was not threatening "I beat you".

*phew*

I told AN that yesterday and she stopped running away from him and realized for herself that he hadn't been running after her to beat her afterall. She's less afraid of him when he goes "I b you" now.

Just a while ago, he pointed at a sponge they used for painting and went: "My I b you!"

Ah.....is "I b you" what he calls a gun? I've never taught him about guns. It's now time to teach him "I b you" is called a gun.

And I had been worried that he had been so mean lately.

*heaves sighs of relief*

Maen

Mae,

I dreamt of you last night. Was it because you were thinking of me?

I dreamt we were back together and I couldn't stop crying as I hugged you. You kept really still in my arms.

But I woke up and hated that moment of reality when I realized you were not home with me. I wasn't cuddling you. My face was wet. I had been sobbing in my sleep. I shut my eyes tight and hope to sleep again. I want to go back to cuddling you.

The busy-ness of life takes my mind off you each day. But when memories of us together comes back, it hits hard.

Of the many times I dreamt of the both of you, this is the first few that I actually post. I'm not worthy to even speak of you and Baileys.

But my heart still aches for both of you.

AN asked if we can have dogs in future. I told her I only want the both of you back. I don't know how many more years in future will you still have. But the Lord will be really merciful to me if I ever get to spend your last days with you.

I miss you, babies. I miss you so much it hurts.....

Taking Risks

Last year when her sister informed her that her son will be getting married this year, MIL bluntly told her: "I don't know if I'll be around. I may be away on a holiday."

Selfish reply. When one informs you a year in advance, you make that day free. Not as if it's official matters... Who's the one who keeps shoving her "family is important. One MUST not lose their relationship with distant relative" value into our face? So damn double standard.

And because nobody dated her for a holiday during this period, she has no excuse to be absent.

Now, she blames SIL: "You are always working. You should keep in touch with the family in Malaysia...blah..blah".

Oh, work is less important than holiday. What lousy standards she has...

She kept poking at SIL till SIL got defensive and started explaining that she has a business deal and all. She got upset at the 'excuses' and snapped back: "If you are not going, then forget it. I'm ok with it. Stop giving excuses already. Let's stop talking about it."

1 minute later, she starts chewing on SIL's unavailability again.

She suggested bringing the nieces in by herself. For obvious reasons, SIL refused.

She then confidently announced: "I'm such a detailed and careful person. You can trust me with your girls."

Detailed? Careful? People who read my updates about her already know she's EXTREMELY careless! And I don't update every lousy encounter.

That reminds me:

I was holding AN and MIL wanted to hold ER. Mr Liow had his hands full with grocery bags.

We came to the escalator and I was on alert mode because ER was with the careless grandma. I made sure AN was safely within a step, turned to ER and saw MIL let go of him right where the steps were moving, to clutch her handbag and hold onto there rail, herself!

My then 18 month old innocently tried to step onto the moving escalator by himself.

I quickly grabbed him and led him down a couple of steps to where AN was standing!

If I trusted her, ER would have fallen off the escalator!

She saw me guiding ER down and suddenly realized she forgot him. She was apologetic. I just smiled but was very very upset. ER COULD HAVE FALLEN DOWN THE ESCALATOR!!

SIL was short of telling her right in the face she's is NOT a careful person and she doesn't want to lose any of her daughters in Malaysia!

Respect mum. SIL did well, but not according the unappreciative mum. Because SIL didn't obey her commands to attend the wedding that she wouldn't attend too if her friends dated her for an overseas trip...

The trip to Jurong Bird Park last Friday was a display of my forbearance. She held a huge umbrella over her head the whole time, poking whoever was in her way.

Mr Liow and SIL, even the elder niece reminded her to be careful because she got poked in the head each time they walked near each other. Just casual reminders. But she got upset, shouting back at SIL "I'm not a little kid. Stop telling me what to do!"

Loud enough to attract the attention of the surrounding crowd.

Regardless of how selfish she is, she's my elder, a family forced onto me by the legal system here. It's my husband's duty to tolerate her. I will comply and have keep my mouth shut to every bit of her nonsense since 15 years ago.

I hope she leaves me alone.

Do not antagonise me, or mess with my kids. I too, will not let her take them into Malaysia by herself.

She needs to stop thinking that highly of herself.

AN's Curls

AN has longer hair this time than when I curled her hair for the first time.

This time I used the curling tong on her hair instead of the twisted hair curler.

She likes it better this time, so much that she wanted it again. hehe.

When I feel compelled to be the breadwinner

This is the first time in my life that I feel so strongly motivated to be the one earning the dough and so that Mr Liow can stay home.

With the top-most being the queerest human ever, I really wish he can throw the letter and just leave.

He slogged for him but his promotion had been postponed once, just so that the boss can post someone else out. Because the boss dislikes that guy.

Just because the boss dislikes that guy, he got posted out to where Mr Liow would have deservingly gotten to the next step.

Just because he is in a powerful position, he could overwrite all requests and attempts even from another powerful man over at the other side.

It's about who's more powerful.

And it appears the same thing is going to happen again. With some wild accusations going on and ridiculous work load (because the others have left the force, all thanks to this extremely hard-to-work-for superior and no replacements), the hubby is drowning with responsibilities.

Not after having shed a major 'secretarial' post that posted a year and achieving much during that period.

No rewards (if being delayed for promotion counts as reward), only verbal appreciation then.

When bosses up there can't agree, the people down there suffers. You do ehay one says, the other points points finger at you and asks you why you had to comply. When you agree with the other, you get questioned, yet again.

Power struggle in the truest form.

They don't make you do things. They make you decide, and then grille you.

What's more evil?

But mr Liow will survive.

He's a fighter.

And I'm working towards saving him from it all.

kids are growing up. I'll soon be able to take on more.

My mum, my daughter and I

We were having dinner yesterday my parents' place.

I was helping AN cool her porridge and mum was scooping fried onions into mine.

I noticed mum scoop without draining the oil and I complained that I didn't want so much oil in my food. Then I turned to my complaining daughter who said she didn't want something in the porridge.

It must have been comical to watch how a mum and a daughter behaves in each other's presence, no matter how old they already are.

Lol!

Pretty Peep Toes

Choosing the right pair of shoes to wear for Ah gu's wedding weren't easy either.

There were other pretty ones we saw but she didn't want to try them on because, for once, she was allowed to get a pair with a tiny bit of 'heels'. Those pretty ones were flat.

Many of those with 'heels' didn't look pretty enough.

Mr Liow caught sight of this pair which looks so sweet and had 'heels' after she tried on a couple.

She loved it, so do we!

He's so cute!

I told him he's cute and he agrees with me. Not humble. Lol!

AN's Angry Bird

My bb's improving

Wedding Day: Gift for tea ceremony

My gift to Krislyn for tea ceremony:

2 hearts fused together to signify 2 becoming one.

Dolling Up Our Princess

We had some disagreements on Monday when shopping for her dress. I told her that she has to like what she chose and I wanted her to tell me exactly which dress she liked best. Then, both Mr Liow and I thought she looked better in this:
We left without buying anything that day because we couldn't agree with her. I felt bad that she didn't get to choose what she liked and promised her I would do something about it.

Along the way, Mr liow managed to convince her and she agreed to buy the purple one that we (adults) liked. I didn't want to break my promise and asked her repeatedly, which dress she preferred and I wanted the truth because daddy and mummy wants her to be happy.

She went: "I want the purple one but I like the pink (lavender, not pink) one a lot."
We did win the battle with some bribing but when I spoke to daddy about respecting her choice, he agreed that she gets to choose :)

She was so grateful and excited that we agreed to get her the one she liked and we went back to get it the next evening.

She refused to be flowergirl though. She said she's scared, so we didn't persist.

She's all excited about tomorrow, as if it's going to be her big day!

As long as she's happy, we are too ;)

Little princess got her finger nails done for her ah gu's wedding celebration tomorrow. We have a very excited one here!

Her painted toenails are protected, by socks while she sleeps. Hehe.

ER Learns Green

He's taking longer to recognise colors than numbers and alphabets.

But it's ok.

Today, we did colour sorting. And he built a "green" house. :)

ER's First Pee in Potty

ER went: "Pee pee!" urgently tugging at his diapers.

I took him to the potty and he sat there while AN was peeing on the adult toilet. As I spoke with AN, I heard water trickling and simply dismissed it as AN's business but it sounded too near, like pee hitting bottom of the potty!

ER was looking at his penis and excitedly hitting my arm: "Mummy, water!" He was amazed that he could shoot "water", like a fountain.

Baby's virgin potty-pee

Photo Update

Took some pictures to whatsapp daddy before he left. We found the missing daddy One of our trip to the library without his daddy and sister The 'hand' I made with...for ER that he loves, to play with. He didn't enjoy the making of it.

Hands

I made a 'hand' with ER before she came home and she wanted the same.


This is ER's hand. I can't get a clear picture of the constantly moving boy!

Since she likes painted nails, I suggested something else.

Camping

ER had an earlier-than-usual nap and by the time AN came home from school, he was awake.

With ER awake, AN wouldn't want to nap, which means we were going to have 3 hours of extra time on hand!

AN is at this age when she gets bored having nothing to do. She loves to write and would have, but little boy is quite a distraction and he's awake.

So, I thought we should try camping!

It was a dark and rainy afternoon. The room was dark enough to pretend we were out in the forest.

The kids had a good time playing pretend and reading in the tent.
And she gets to sleep in the tent tonight!

Fun with Kids

Snippets of my days that I posted on my FB:


AN: "Mummy, When I grow up and have my own house, you come and stay with me ok?" Me: "Awww...so sweet of you. How about daddy?" AN: "Don't worry mummy! I will give you a box that's big enough for you AND daddy."

A box.

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Bedroom door opened with a creak. The toddler is awake!

Mummy's waiting for him to walk to her and as he was doing so, he called out: "Jie jie!"

-____-"

He asked for his sister the first thing in the morning, not mummy.

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Day 7 Without Daddy:

AN saw my flabby belly.

"Mummy, TOO fat." "huh! Really!?" "Yes. You have 2 layers. You are TWO fat." Pointing to her zero-fat waistline, she boasted: "I am NO fat."

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AN noticed that out of the family of 3 human-shaped magnets on the fridge, 1 was missing. She was horrorified.

"Where's daddy??!" "Daddy's in USA." AN continued searching around the fridge. "No.....NOT THAT KIND OF DADDY."

Water Fun

Mr Liow took leave yesterday to get pants for Andy's wedding dinner, so we went to Vivo City.

There's a water play area near the playground. The moment the kids saw the water, they are stuck. Mr Liow had some peaceful moments selecting the pants and waiting for alteration.

Thank God I brought extras clothes (for rainy days, like these, or in case they puke on themselves).

Violent Tiger

He was randomly throwing a book and it flew right towards AN's nose. In fact, he saw AN sitting in front of him but threw it anyway. It probably wasn't random. Did he mean to aim it at his sister??

And poor AN's nose started bleeding.

OMG.....

He's getting worse each day, increasingly mean and physical.

I need wisdom to deal

Final Countdown: Day 9

He's on his way back, touching down on SQ11 at 0255hrs.

Finally.

And kids, some days are just not worth remembering.

I'm tired again. AN had a rough day yesterday, and ER had a rough night. I had a rough 24 hours shift from (only counting from midnight to midnight).

Head throbbing now but I will survive. My kids will grow up.

3 More Days: "Mummy, Sit Down!"

Terrible Two is scary, worse so when the toddler is unwell.

I haven't updated that ER had been hitting people a lot this week. He smacks whoever upsets him (in his own context)

BAD!

AN gets it most, but I'm not spared either. Lots of correction from now on before it becomes a habit. Training in progress, so please bear with us when we meet ok?

And this little tiger can get demanding too. He woke up at 3am and was very grouchy. He cried, struggled and insisted "Mummy sit up!" to nurse him when I tried to lay him down.

Each time he dozed off, I tried putting him down. But, sigh......each time his head touched the pillow, he would wake up frustrated and start demanding "Mummy sit up!"

I gave up, and carried him upright for about 2 hours before attempting to put him down. This time, he was in deep sleep and didn't wake up..

I would gladly carry him upright if he couldn't breathe but he was breathing alright. It was a random demand, first of its kind.  Please let it be due to him feeling unwell instead of a new, developing temperament.

This reminds me of those times I carried AN upright on nights when she had stuffy nose back when she was younger. She had never once demanded that I sit up. In fact, sleeping time was relatively fuss free (she sleeps through the night now so I have zero problems with her night routine).

On bad nights, she would cry, whine and fuss, but she would go to sleep when I carried her.

Having fine through 1 case of  this frightening age and living in another now (hoping it will pass soon!), I am again, convinced that girls are so much milder!

At this age, AN hit us too. But I'd pretend to cry and she would stop. She would hug and pacify me and listen when I reminded her that it was wrong to hit people. The hitting went on for a while before it stopped, and she would repeat my instructions: "No beat. It's bad."

I do the same with ER, but instead of being concerned about me like AN used to, he would walk away, unaffected. -____-" He would get upset when I try explaining to him "No beat! It's bad!", and raise his hand at me again.

Argh!

He would only panic when I smack the hand and  ignore him after repeating "No beat! It's bad!". He then pretends to cry and come sit in my lap, and hug me.

I said no beat, so I shouldn't beat him too. I'm exploring what works, but unless he gets too wild, I won't smack his hand.

Hmm...I think I still wish ER was a girl. Girls are miler and sweeter lah.

Hehe.

4 More Days: His First Poop (Disguising Picture Ahead!) + First Puke of The Month

AN was pooping and since I had to get their sleeping attire ready, I put ER on the potty to wait. I had been randomly putting him there but there hadn't been any success yet.

When I went back, ER was half squatting with an uneasy look on his face. And because he was half squatting, I saw something hanging from his bottom into the potty!

It was SHIT!

His first success, inspired by AN!


---------------------------------------------------------------

Next, his bronchitis relapsed.

He had been dripping mucus for 3 days and is starting to cough since evening.

For now, I'm giving the usual Flixotide plus (additional dose of) ventolin with it for his airway. The last time I puffed him at 8pm, I gave 3 pumps of ventolin.

Dr Lee mentioned before, that for rescue, I can give a maximum of 4 puffs, 4 hourly.

For today, I've given only 3 puffs twice.

He choked on mucus a while ago and couldn't breath. Whenever that happens, I'm thankful the Lord gave human the gag-instinct, so we do not normally suffocate and die when fighting mucus.

As expected, ER threw up, in the sink. Thank God we got there on time!

Both kids are sleeping now. I'm crossing my fingers that tonight won't be one of those horrifying ones. Because AN is also coughing a little too.

5 More Days: When all the stars line up

...........

All urgent matters happen at the same time.

I had to settle some legal issues (will share later) and had to check for details.

Little tiger refused to let me go during their nap. When he finally did, AN woke up. She's no trouble maker, so I managed to still dig into my files. But I couldn't find what I thought I remembered was in there.

I switch on the iMac (which I hate because it senses urgency and hangs on me when they are reputed to never hang. To iMac: I really hate you, and I think you hate me too.)

Then, little tiger woke up.

He starts meddling with my keyboard, wants my mouse, screams when I told him no.

My little helper AN helped distract him with books but he didn't stay distracted long enough. He walked about, turning my wifi off, opening up playdough bottles and poured them millions of tiny pieces out. AN found something that caught his attention again, and he left his messy mission for a while.

Then I couldn't log into my email, my passwords were all wrong, I had to wait for wifi to come back and got one call after another (which I selectively answered. No time.)

While struggling with the iMac, AN announced: "Mummy, his mucus dripped onto the cards!"

Argh!

But my girl saved me by wiping his constantly dripping nose.

Then, "Mummy! He pooped!"

Argh! What next?

I had no time to change him and prayed hard his diapers do not leak.

And that little boy is a terrorist who takes his sister's kindness for granted, so I constantly hear her complaining that he hit her, snatched stuff and such. But my sweet girl let his meanness pass and continued to entertain him shortly after each fight.

I finally got things going and realized dinner wasn't in the pot! I had to rush out dinner, but thank God, AN's dinner request was fairly simple: Mac and Cheese.

And while cooking the animal-shaped pasta, I realized I had clothes in the washing machine I hadn't hung up to dry. Before I can hang them up, I had to take existing clothes off the drying poles.

Water boiling, sauce would be ready soon, kids fighting and making up, ER removing things from my drawers and flooding kitchen floor with them.

Then a call came in to say she doesn't receive my email.

-_____-"

I asked her to wait a little. Maybe the server was a little slow. My smartphone is left with 1 bar of battery but allowed me to check the email which I cc-ed to myself from Mr Liow's email. I received it, so she should too.

Finally, the kids are eating. And food tastes yummy, except that I forgot to make my own.

Sigh.......

Nevermind.

I hope rush hour is over for now. I hope the lined up stars have gone their separate ways...

5 More Days: Uniform

AN and Daddy leaves the house in their respective uniforms every weekday morning to school and work.

This week, my brother volunteered to fetch her to school. And AN found it wierd that he wore a different outfit every morning.

(In case you wonder, Andy is in the SCDF, also a uniformed organization. AN saw him in his uniform often, till his recent posting to the HQ which requires him to dress civilian for as long as he remains there.)

"Ah gu, why do you change a different shirt every day?"

That must have been a really strange question to him. Lol!



"Because no one wears the same clothes to work everyday."

But to AN, that's not right.

"But I wear the same clothes to school every morning, and daddy wears the same clothes to work too. You too, last time."

Their voices fade as the door to the lift shuts. I think my brother gets what she's asking. Hehe.