The Immortal Ethan

He's been keeping food in his mouth without chewing since Saturday. Even food like soup..

Sigh...

Today is worse. He had a few bites of bread with peanut butter, rejected his favourite yoghurt totally, had less than 5 baby spoonfuls of soupy porridge, now still at his second mouthful of runny mashed potato.

That reminded me of the nightmare I had with AN.

I hope I'm dreaming.

It's not happening again is it?

KS Mum

For the benefit of my non-Singaporean friends, KS is 'Kiasu' in short, and that is the fear of losing out. Somehow, Singaporeans have been tagged 'kiasu' since I-can't-remember-when.

And I have a KS mum. She suggested I get books for K2 kids so that AN can practise. And then P1 books for her next year. That's 1 level up  -_____-"

If I do that, I'm interfering with the educational system here and will do more harm than good. I might as well homeschool her if I want to teach her at a faster speed..

I think I agree with my neighbour when she says "to supplement, not overtake".

Education system here is already crazy. I bought some assessment books for AN before we came back and AN had finished one for preschool (4 year olds). She loves to write and write and can finish a book in a few hours if we don't stop her. I was about to give her the new one for 5 year olds when I realised the book has lots of alphabet writing to do. Those were N2 stuff.

I'll keep that for ER.

Need to get chinese assessment books for her to practise on.

Stress starts...soon.

PhotoS from CNY Day 7

At our gathering on Sunday, Shirley came armed with her camera and went around capturing precious moments of us and kids.

After looking through her album, I realised she took family photos for all of us but didn't have one taken of her own!

Babe, thanks for the photos. Feel bad I forgot yours :(

Visitation Day 7

AN had her music lessons in the late morning and we rushed home right after that to prepare for the SHSS girls' arrival.

ER was cranky. Manageable in the afternoon but got worse along the way. He had only half an hour's nap since 9am so it's no wonder he was floating around grouchily by evening.

AN was fine but she had to skip lunch to rush home. So it was no lunch, no nap. A formula like this is recipe for trouble too. haha! My eyes kept twitching in anticipation of a meltdown by either junior.

Thank God both were manageable.

Hungry and sleepy kids aside, I had a great time catching up with my girlfriends.

Shirley has pictures! Thanks gal!

MIL volunteered to make fried bee hoon for us. Thankful for that. She rushed home after church to cook and left early so that Mr Liow didn't have to worry about sending her home.

The kids have all grown. No more crawlers. There are 3 walkers now and the 4 princesses. Josh the big brother, and little ZQ who reminds me of my own at that age when she would suckle, let go and baby talk Ting. So sooooo precious!

We said we'll stop at 2 kids but these babies make me want another. Ok, probably not. Can't afford to give all of them equal grooming. Hehe.

AN was so wild with Joshua yesterday. She kept pulling him till he lost his cool. Got her to explain why she was so rough and she said she wanted him to play with her. Kids.. Told her it was wrong and she felt bad. Kept apologising to me (coz she always complain others are rough and she doesn't enjoy rough kids but she was one yesterday).

We had a good time chatting, kids enjoyed (at least mine did). AN was so tired she knocked out immediately after dinner but woke up as I was changing her. ER fell asleep soon after I tucked him in.

Always enjoyed meeting up with the girls and watching the kids grow. Every month is different. And we grow old together too.

Hehe.

Visitation Day 6

First stop was to The Yoongs' place. Had lots of bak kwa and ngoh hiang. Super yummy. I am hardly a meat person but these meat foods 'carnivor-ise' me.

ER hadn't been eating well, drooling, crankier then usual, unable to sleep peacefully at night, grinding and rubbing his gums. These seem to suggest new teeth.

It seems he would only eat bread, so I have him bread. He didn't want both the porridge and bee hoon soup I made for his dinner the day before and lunch today. Bread isn't enough, but better than no food. He wanted AN's Goldfish Snack but didn't chew like he always would finish them: fast.

But he was keen on the ngoh hiang and had a few bites. Not enough to make a meal but, again, better then nothing.

He had more noodles over than Peter and Fiona's place.

AN, on the other hand, couldn't stop eating. She wouldn't eat when asked to but couldn't stop once she started.

Enough of the eating (that's what Chinese New Year is about, besides the 'red packets').

We were at Pam's place and I got to carry Gladys. She's slightly over 1 month old and sooooo babyish! She looks like Joan after a while. At first glance, I thought she looks like Phillip.

I looked at Gladys, and then I looked at my darling boy, and then at my big girl. Time really flies....it was not that long ago when AN was this way in my arms. And didn't I just give birth to ER?? Why is she 5 this year and him already 16 months?

Gladys makes me want another baby. I never really enjoyed a baby as a first time mum but now, I can better see how babies are sooooo precious! If only they never grow up and remain babies forever..

Anyway, ER got jealous when he saw me cradling her. He wasn't in his usual happy mood as it is. Seeing mummy hugging a baby made it worse for him. Haha! He sometimes tries to squeeze AN out of my arms and AN is my firstborn, a sister he grew up knowing since his first day. What is a new baby to him? Hmm...

That's a sign that number 3 is out of the question, at least for now, if not for ever.

So comfy

The little tiger is knocked out. After the few days of visiting and long hours with interrupted naps in between, he finally gets to rest better last Tuesday night.

Love that face...but I can't get a good picture of it in this barely bright room.

Scooter Morning

AN's first attempt at scootering.

Making Faces

Wanted to take a picture before we sleep and AN suggested we make faces.

Good night world!

My big baby

Each time I hug AN to sleep now, I'm reminded of those days in Tucson. I look at AN from the same angle I have always had since she was a baby. She's now 5 years old, technically not A baby anymore, but still my baby nonetheless.

I was putting moisturizer on her face after shower a while ago, before bedtime. Again, I could see the little baby face I used to moisturize daily, till she started wanting to do it herself. Today's one of those rare days when she wants me to help.

I could remember how her little face felt like, and I could feel the difference now. She asked me how different. Hmm... She now has a longer face, sharper chin and less flesh on her cheeks. That's how different.

I missed that little AN so much. Thank God I still have some remaining childlikeness in her to enjoy. She's growing up fast, the way she speaks, behaves and thinks.

And because she too, had interrupted naps last week during CNY, she wasn't too cooperative. But she would constantly ask for feedback: "Mummy, was I a good girl?"

I must have given a consistent answer because as I was processing in my mind how to reply, she asked: "A bit of tantrums here and there, mummy?"

Months ago, I'd ask her to throw away her tantrums because they are bad and she can do so well without them. She would always tell me "ok".

Then months later, she told me she would try.

Today, she told me: "Mummy, I can't throw the tantrums away. They are inside me. I can't take them out. I can't even touch them!"

That, in only a few months...
Adrielle, please slow down. I haven't had enough of you!



Best

New Friend!

Hi, friend!

It's been a LONG time and you definitely look different now, more sophisticated and much better than I used to know your ancestor. I could only dream my future kids get to touch you 15 years ago when we parted ways. The dream just came true!

I hope AN learns to appreciate and feel music through you. And I have kept a couple of my last memories with him before you, hoping I'll get to touch you again.

I hope to pick up from where we left off. I know you are young, maybe too young for my grade 5 pieces but I have gone rusty over the years too.

Let's work together to help AN love you,just as much, ok?

Love,

An old friend

My Gift

I have a gift: I see 'things', like cockroaches and lizards, even silverfishes. At odd times of the day when these 'things' least expect human movement. At places one would not expect to see them.

Countless times, I'd either be doing dishes after the kids were asleep or packing up a little, or even just trying to do some toilet business, and easily from the corner of my eye, something would move.

It's almost as if I KNOW I'll see something as I work on anything, especially at night. I just have to be careful not to touch it or them (and faint, or die immediately).

It's been a while. No cockroaches for months. Lots of lizard encounters outside our house but I see them enter my neighbor's house instead *phew*, and my brave lady neighbour says she's not afraid of lizards.

If I had been doing it right, the citronella oil that I periodically paint over our door had been keeping the house relatively lizard-free, till about 2 months ago. That ONE baby lizard didn't understand rules....and thank God Mr Liow managed to settle it. Thank God I was still in the kitchen and Mr Liow was awake. We could have been sleeping and it would have grown up and set up a family of its own...

And I was just about to shut the lights off for the last time half an hour ago when our eyes met: mine with the dark knight in its mighty armor. It was near the kids' books!

I woke Mr Liow up (sorry lao gong, and thanks for coming to my rescue once again!) to help me with it. It went into hiding while I went to get Mr Liow but we managed to track it down finally.

This phrase in chinese is totally accurate: 打不死的蟑螂. This usually describes a person who remains persistent like a cockroach which never dies.

No matter how many times Mr Liow whacked it, it would not die. After raining countless attacks on it, it finally turned on its back and stopped moving, so we thought it was dead. Mr Liow went to throw the weapon away but when he came back, the ....... it was gone!

Again, thank God Mr Liow found it behind AN's easel table. It was finally finished, but the armored creature put up a fight even to the end.

We've got lots to learn from them. They are so persistent they are almost incapable of dying.

As for this special ability of mine, to see 'things', is it too much to ask if I wish I can control them out of our territory as well?

*shudders*

Hands on Me

The little tiger received quite some attention.

Cousins United!

Eugenia is 3 months older than AN.

While I was outside chatting, Eugenia's mummy was busy taking pictures of the girls, suggesting they rub noses, play some ice breaking games (who's that behind the blanket?), stand back to back etc. She was wondering who's taller. She's a little worried because her daughter is one of the shortest in class but both her and hubby are tall people. AN is average in her class. Told her mum either Eugenia has giant classmates or AN has tiny ones.

They look so sweet together!

"I May Not Be There"

Mr Liow's uncle's youngest son will be getting married on 17th November this year. He told Mr Liow's mum s early as NOW and joked: "Try not to plan your overseas vacation during this period ok?"

She bluntly replied him jokingly: "I have no plans yet, but if my friends want to go during this time, I'll still go but I'll not forget your cash gift."

Back at home, she brought it up for 'discussion'. She was not joking earlier when she said she will go on a holiday even though uncle had already extended a verbal invitation. In fact, she selfishly declared: "我不可能为了他不要去holiday" (I won't give up a holiday for him.)

The day after that 'discussion'

My brother's wedding dinner will be on 20 October this year. In the car, I reminded Mr Liow about it, together with his cousin's on 17th November (the one his mum wasn't about to keep herself available for).

She then, appeared concerned: "Same day...like that how?"

*inserts awkward silence*

I replied that 20th October and 17th November are NOT the same. I started thinking a lot about her question again. What did she mean by "then how?" If it's on the same day, priority goes to my brother of course. Was that a trick question? Moreover, she has no intention to reserve that day for the wedding. Don't tell me she wants to (again) STRONGLY ENCOURAGE us to represent her....

Wait long long. Wait very long also don't have.

But for HER malaysian relatives, we HAVE to be available. We have attended 3 weddings (she would keep reminding us, over and over, ensuring we do not have plans during that period) and she even wanted us to make ourselves free for just a baby bash, in KL. Mr Liow reminded her that the relatives didn't make their way out for our kids' bb bash too. Because it's just a bb bash and it's not necessary.

But it all depends on which of her relative too. For the well to do ones, we are STRONGLY ENCOURAGED to make our way there.

For the less educated ones, it's "不要管他".

We shall see if 5th aunt's son's wedding in the next few years is as 'important' as Cai Hui's.

CNY Day 1

Tiring day! First destination was to grandpa's place, after paying my parents a visit first.

There weren't much pictures taken because little tiger was too whiny! He really doesn't seem to like crowded places somehow!

Only picture taken with my cousin's wife. None else.

Went home to rest a while before going over to Mr Liow's uncle's place. More pictures this time because ER has Ryona to help run after him. Now I quite look forward to AN growing up, if she grows up to be a good shepherd of little kids too. Hehe.

Those to come later.

Some pictures of us at the end of the long day...

Updates

Hives

This is taking kind of long but yeah, I have recovered from my itchy skin that the handsome and young GP at the clinic just below the next block said resembles hives.

I was prescribed Prednisolone, a corticosteroid. I can't remember what sort of a corticosteroid AN got when she had her 'leopard spots' in March 2010 due to her allergic reaction to Amoxicilin. Prednisolone sounded rather familiar.

I'm supposed to finish the pills. At least I don't have to hide my previously diseased looking legs tomorrow.


Night Potty

AN had been accident free for a week now. We're down to 2 trips to the restroom: one at 1am and the other at 4am.

Previously, she didn't always pee at those 2 arranged trips and had wet herself in between. Now, she releases, so I can be sure she has an empty bladder til 3 hours later.

She's also conscious about drinking too much before sleep now. She hardly asks for milk unless she's really hungry or badly craving for it. That day I asked if she wanted milk before she slept, she replied that she shouldn't because she would have lots of pee if she had any. I could tell she would like to have some and made her half a cup anyway. She's such an angel sometimes but a challenge at others.

There weren't any accidents that night. Guess she's getting used to the night potty routine now.

Can't say it's a success till she's independent but for now, I'm pleased with the progress :)

Happy New Year of the Dragon

Not celebrating the dragon.

Just that it's the year of the dragon in the lunar calender, one out of the 12 animals that represent each year (tiny piece of info for friends who are not familiar with the chinese culture much).

My mum was born in the year of the dragon 5 cycles ago. She's 60! I can still recall when she would always get comments that she looked like she was in her 30s when she was already past 40years old.

Every Lunar New Year, I wished I was still a kid. The excitement and joy dwindles with each year past. The best we can do is to help our kids to enjoy so that they can remember being excited during Chinese New Year like I remembered I used to be. Hehe.

Before the clock strikes 12, here's wishing all a very blessed new year ahead (also to friends who do not celebrate Chinese New Year)

:)

May everyone in the family (mine and yours) be healthy and cheerful

May enemies find other victims to torment (or better still, change to be better people)

May people who are kind to you be blessed a thousand, million-fold (like those of you who had been to me. Hehe)

May the leaders of our country be wise

May the people here find less fault with them, leaders.

May natural disaster spare human lives

May Singapore's weather turn cooler

May ER start to sleep through the night

May AN continue to enjoy schoolwork

May I be a kind, patient, wise, hardworking, resourceful and all knowing mum to my kids

And a listening, understanding, forbearing wife to Mr Liow.

I want to be so much that I am not. From the way I look at it, if perfection lies at the end of life, I'm so far from being good at least. I'll have a long life to live to be all of above.

I better work hard so that I do not have to live for too long.

Haha!

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

World peace!

Giving Credit

After the rant last week about Mr Liow's addiction to technology, we had a couple days of...awkwardness.

Because he aspires to be a responsible daddy and hubby, it disappointed him to read that I didn't agree as much as he thought I did.

(To clarify, I totally agree that he's a responsible daddy and hubby. That post wasn't to say he isn't. Like I finally managed to summarise in an sms to him, sometimes I need more help than usual and I still wish the kids get quality attention.)

Since then, he made it a point to keep Ipad sessions confined to only in his room after the kids sleep.

And now, as I settle the kids in the room during bedtime, he helps me wash whatever dishes there may be in the sink, hang up whatever clothes there may be in the washer, magic-clean the floor and pack up the mess made by the kids. That done, he rewards himself with time on his ipad while he waits for me.

I'm thankful he felt sore when he read my thoughts. A hubby who doesn't feel anything reading his wife's rants probably doesn't feel it's any of his business to do anything.

My hubby not only felt sore, he made some changes for us.

Thank you dear.

Reunion Dinner

Another (lunar) year is ending. Every year, the 'official' reunion dinner has to be spent with my in laws. It's tradition. Don't have to like it, just have to do it.

So being a daughter and a chinese wife to a chinese husband, I can't give priority to spending the actual evening with my parents for reunion.

Had a rather quick one coz ER was rather unsettled. He wanted to walk all the time, just like how AN used to be. Adorable, but inconvenient. It wasn't as fruitful as I was hoping it to be with a not too cooperative AN and fidgety ER.

After dinner, we had to go over to SIL'S house because Mr Liow's brother in law's brother and family from Australia are in town visiting. The last time my MIL informed me to make ourselves available, it was for lunch with them last Sunday. When I told her it was my grand dad's birthday, she went: "Really? Then how?"

Sounded like she expected me to reply: "Ok, I'll skip my grand father's birthday for lunch with people I don't even know." You wait long long lor. You really shouldn't be getting your way all the time, especially when it makes no logical sense.

Anyway, she got the date wrong and coincidentally, we were to be available TODAY to meet them, after reunion dinner with MY family. "It's rare they travel to Singapore so try to make it.", she says. How about dinner with them since they are here today and dinner with my parents tomorrow, on the actual day? Because while the family RARELY visits Singapore, my family NEVER gets to dine with me on the actual day since we got married. How's that to be fair?

Anyway, ER didn't allow us more time to interact so I couldn't suggest a coffee session after dinner.

ER fell asleep in the car while on the way to meet the VIPs. Don't get me wrong. I'm not bitter towards the guests. I'm bitter being 'strongly encouraged' to share my reunion dinner day with people not related to me and hubby.

When we got there, she was waiting with door wide opened and excited. And loud. Poor ER was asleep in my arms and Mr Liow sshh-ed her.

She responded happily: "It's ok. If he wakes up, so be it! Better still!"

Oohs....that same familiar selfish trait pushed that selfish comment. My 15 months old cannot talk. He can't entertain. Sorry about that. It's past his bed time and he really should be wandering around in dreamland, on his bed.

Poor baby was so tired he didn't even budge when I put him down on the younger niece's bed. 99% of the time, he wakes up when I attempt to lay him down. Not today. Dead tired.

I really feel bitter. She probably wasn't the one who planned today's meeting up. She probably didn't mean to sabotage time with my family. But the fact remains that this INDEED interfered with time spent with my family.

IT DID.

Anyway, there had been a little surprise after dinner before we left for SIL's place. There were fireworks. Took some pictures, here's one:


And we had a good chat with the guests. If only they came 2 weeks earlier, or later.

New Bangs, Wrong Time..

Just for the record

AN wore size 3 shoes till she was about 18 months.

ER is almost outgrowing his size 5 shoe at 16 months.

He loves to put on shoes because he knows along with them comes a certain degree of independance. He doesn't mind any designs, or even size. As long as they stay on his feet, that's all matters to him, even if they are pink, or white with a red flower.

AN's Earth

Earth has various inner layers: Inner core, outer core, mantle and crust (the most general model)


This is AN's earth

That's a fun way to learn! Why wasn't I taught to remember lessons in this way?

We had sooooo much fun with the cap.............

So much fun that the cap is now lost.

1/3

Her clothes collection is expanding. So is ER's. She has so many dresses that they take up 1/3 of MY wardrobe! I'm only naming her dresses. The rest of her clothes are still in their shared wardrobe although it's looking to explode soon.

Need more space.

sigh..

Good or bad?

Does this look like a recovery? It's more obvious than before! Doesn't itch as much though.

More !

What on earth did I eat wrong? And why does the spots take so long to go away? Is it even going away yet?

Sob.

Zyrtec to my rescue!

It suddenly occurred to me that since my hives are symptoms of an allergy, Zyrtec should be able to help give me some relief. I had wanted to go see a doctor but it's been a long day with ER's checkup and jab yesterday, besides the regular stuff.

So I itched the whole day, but I'm thankful that my face was spared! Hehe.

Zyrtec took about an hour or so to kick in. By the time  the kids knocked out at 10pm, I wasn't itching much anymore. In about another hour, I noticed my bumps receding.

Thank God for Zyrtec! And thank God it's me (instead of the little ones) who needed the Zyrtec which had been sitting in the fridge for a long long long time. It's embarrassing though, because I thought this is more likely to occur in little children.

Allergy!

How embarrassing...I'm having hives! I dont recall eating anything new...

The bumps started last evening. I thought I was just sensitive because we had been clearing the house over the weekend and it's probably dustier than usual.

Then the whole of last night, I could stop scratching. By morning, I had patches of bumps all over! And it was itchy!

The bumps itched less by afternoon. By evening, the itchy came back.

I took a HOT shower and it felt good. The itch was under control of the hot water against my skin but the moment I was done, I couldn't stop scratching all over again. :(

See pictures.



That was in the afternoon. It's now worse. Even my left eye is starting to swell. And my soles..even my soles are itchy.

I have Zyrtec at home and have just taken 10mls as instructed.

Please, spare me :(

Joy is Like the Rain

"I saw clouds upon a mountain, Joy is like a cloud.

Sometimes silver, sometimes gray, Always sun not far away.

Joy is like a cloud."

I claim to find joy in my role a a mum but there have been countless time I feel so....restricted by my duties, and unhappy.

It doesn't make sense to me that I'm looking to see if I can have both kids attend school with short hours so that I can spend time with them but when they are with me, I keep my fingers crossed and pray the day will be as friction-free as possible. Because when we do not agree with each other (mostly AN and I. The little one is still a bundle of joy), I am tested. And yes, life IS better without friction, won't you agree? Am I asking for trouble then, by wanting more time with the one whom I struggle with more?

So, am I happy or do I hate what I'm doing now? I know I enjoy being with my kids and around for them, but how do I explain it well enough to myself so that I can encourage myself to not give up on challenging days?

The Lord sang me this song we used to sing during primary school :)

Sometimes silver, sometimes gray. But the sun is never far away. I face good and bad days, and yes, the fact is, I love my kids and want to be a nurturing mum. The point is, my love for them will never be far away. I They are my joy!

I can keep going, by the grace of God.

Finally got color!

School For Thoughts?

So here I am, planning for ER's school. Why so early? I've learnt my lesson. Cannot sit and apply for a school, thinking there will definitely be a place for him. Took us months of being on wait list and NO REPLY FROM ANY OF THOSE PRESCHOOLS when we came,back from Tucson and wanted to enrol AN in a preschool.

Shekinah was a blessing. They newly shifted to right below my parents' place and had just that ONE place for her. So without giving a second thought, in she went. And it had been a good year.

I'm contemplating investing the same amount we pay for her to be in childcare on other enrichment options. Similar, but not on half a day basis. It's costly if we look at how these lessons cost the same for only 2 hours and only 2-3times a week but the same amount is paid by term instead of monthly.

We will benefit with better focus on academic in 2 hours or so, and more free time (at home and for everything else instead of spending her whole morning in school).

And that will also be for ER.

Let's hear from those schools and I'll do a comparison.

Been up since 3am and I can't sleep, worrying about this issue and AN's night potty.

Hehe.

I pray I don't always make wrong moves and I'll make wise decisions so the kids benefit in time to come.

I secretly (now, not so secret anymore) hope to have them by my side a little longer before they grow up and not need me anymore. We do not really need to put them in childcare.

Peas in a Pod

Or yolkS in an egg.

My mum cracked an egg which would have otherwise hatched into a pair of twins.

Kong Toy - Idea to keep baby occupied

AN's First Dental

Few days later, she asked me: "Mum, can you get me the same toothbrush the dentist used on me? It is so comfortable!"

ER Putting on A Cap

He didnt want his cap since long time ago but this morning after AN tried hers on him, he liked it. Since then, he had been putting his own cap on his crown. My darling, so cute. Hehe.

My Name is Ethan

Pretty

This is one of my favourite photo of my favourite little girl.

Change or stay?

AN's school fees have gone up. In view of ER's education next year, I wonder if we should let them both continue with Shekinah.

AN loves her classmates and teachers. She's been learning well and I like how clean the school is. But to have them both there, it's exceptionally draining financially.

It won't be easy going to a new school and making new friends. I wonder if it's me or will AN miss her classmates so much she will not enjoy school elsewhere.

I'm still thinking about PLMC's pre-education. Quality of lessons will be compromised, but she will learn more about God. She needs that because I'm in no position to teach her. I'm struggling to behave myself too.

If she starts next year, there will be less chance to bond with new friends. And I look forward to her graduation performance with Shekinah too.

Else, she will remain in Shekinah and I'll enrol ER in PLMC for N1 next year. Anyway, as advised by Ms Sue, it's advisable for K2 students to remain in school full day to because lessons will stretch bringbeyond the few hours now. If so, I'll have the flexibility of time to bring ER to and from school.

Then again, I thought of going to work full time because expenses will be doubled. If they do not study at the same place, I will need to be around. Moreover, will I b able to get a job that pays well enough to justify leaving my kids?

Oh my goodness, why did we choose Fernvale to live in, where no birds lay eggs..

Some help? *ranting post to release steam*

I love AN but she seems to only want to listen when I flare up. ONLY when I flare up.

We got up earlier than usual. I let her do some stencilling and pasting, things she enjoys doing. We were happily chatting about the activities, till it was time to prepare for school.

The moment I said to go into the room to wash up and change, she went back to lie down in the sofa, whine about feeling sleepy and such...and refuse to obey.

I went to hold her up but she refused to get up. Coaxing didn't work, so I threatened her that if she refuse to obey, I'll be angry.

She continued, till I walked away. Then she started her "I want mummy to come here." Why didn't she take my offer and everything would have been peaceful???

Hell broke loose. I'm no longer as patient and kind as I'd like to.

I'm the first to wakeup each day, last to sleep. Now I have to wake AN up for toileting. She gets up twice but I wouldn't be able to sleep because I am constantly worried she'll wet herself.

Dishes pile. Laundry basket fills up fast but no one will do anything about it. The floor gets dusty fast. Sticky too. Mails are not sorted. They are stacked up now. I find sweet wrapper on the,bed, more dirty clothes pile up in the room, unwashed cup in study room.

When I go settle some of these, Mr Liow helps me watch over the kids, by switching on the tv so that he can play on the Ipad in peace.

When I go put the kids to bed, he'll retreat into the room, to continue playing.

When the kids are finally sleeping and I go out to see if there are chores to clear before calling it a day, there will always be tonnes.

I was hoping that my hubby can help me do the dishes, or fold some clothes, or magic-clean the floor, or just something. One thing, anything. While I'm nursing ER and telling AN story, I was hoping for just one miracle to happen outside baby room. Just one thing less to do.

But each time, I see my hubby glued to that stupid tablet after the kids are finally asleep.

I wish he'll stay with us and be around to watch the kids fall asleep. Some QUALITY time with them. Not TV time, or Ipad time, or hurry-get-it-done-and-over-with time.

But he has all sorts of excuse not to be involved. "I'll probably fall asleep before they do.", "I'll snore and wake them up.", "I don't know how to tell stories.", "I'll do it tomorrow (but conveniently forget and hope no one remembers".

Even worse when MIL is here because he thinks I get help. More quality time for him and his Ipad.

What's left of me? I'm upset, because he has time to relax while I jump from one task to another. Whenever he remembers my existence, he'll suggest: "Do those things tomorrow la!"

How many tomorrows do I have? Every tomorrow starts with chores of the day and end with some that I can only do the next day.

Some days, I rot. I stop being busy. I try to relax. Then ER gets food prepared in haste, chores, clothes, rubbish continue to pile up, floor gets dirtier, furnitures get dustier, tables get messier.

What am I asking for with this post?

I am not superwoman. And "Dads for Life" Is NOT JUST A CAR DECAL!

Prepared

When I had to unpack kitchen stuff from our boxes after returning from Tucson, I decided to place unbreakable ones on the lower cabinets to prepare for the day my little one grows big enough to open cabinets and do stock taking.

This day has come.

My darlings

AN, Sleepyhead by Morning, Chatterbox by Night

Her and her babies whom she tuck into 'bed' before she sleeps and goes go school each day.

Her, unable to wake up because she couldn't stop talking the night before.

I love her, and I am starting to tell her that less now.

Must remember to tell her that everyday no matter how old she becomes. Hehe.

Hooked

My cute little tiger is finally walking. I had been updating about him taking steps since Mr Liow came home on 3rd December but he still preferred to crawl. Walking was extracurriculum activity.

Each day, we watch him take more steps and get better at moving on 2s. He walks like an elderly.

Whenever we go out since his first steps, he will patiently stick his cute little feet out and let me take as long as I need to put his shoes on him. He knows that with shoes on, he can walk! And he walks, holding our hands and pulling us wherever he wants to go.

For the past weekend, he seems to have gotten a kick out of walking. He shook my hand off his and walked by himself at the airport on last Fri.

And he walked, following AN and Ryanne around the house on Saturday.

And all over my SIL's house on Sunday after Yen Li's bb bash in the afternoon.

And he walked.

And he smiles. Cute. Hehe.

These were taken after his walk-about-to-mess-up-the-house marathon. He was finally tired!

Scale, Polish, Fill

Dental story here: http://www.littleflowertwointow.blogspot.com/2012/01/1st-dental-appointment.html

A picture posted here, just to remember how fearless AN was during her first dental visit. I had been telling her how noisy those tools can be but they massage her teeth as the dentist cleans and AN, like her daddy, is a sucker for massages.

She is waiting for the next appointment. Hahaha! Erm...it's more cost effective to invest in a good toothpaste first and maybe...we'll bring her back in half a year or so, just to see if there's anymore dental procedures we have to improve on.

What a Waste!

"What a waste! What a waste!", AN repeated as she was getting ready to brush her teeth 2 nights ago. "Mummy, what do you mean by that?"

I explained that when we have things that are functioning and still good but don't use them, or throws them away, we waste.

AN then asks: "Mummy, we have more training pants left. If I don't use them now, isn't it a waste?"

What an innovative way to say she feels safer in her training pants than panties when she sleeps.

Anyway, to be an advocate of what I preached about not being wasteful, I will allow her to sleep in those remaining training pants till we run out.

Last night, Mr Liow came over to sleep with us in baby room beside AN. She didn't want training pants, which was fine with me. After a short while, she started wondering: "Mummy, if I really pee in my pants tonight, will daddy get wet too?"

Good question.

I told her he may get wet but I'll wake her up anyway. She gets to decide whether or not she wants to be in training pants.

So, to prevent daddy from becoming a victim of an accident due to her training in progress, she had training pants on last night.

New Arrangement

We managed to get a refund for the bed. The boss was reluctant and he didn't have to refund us coz we have already paid up, plus we are in a way contractually responsible for the order. He did anyway, and we were extremely grateful!

That wakes us up to see that we need to get the kids something off the ground to sleep on. Meanwhile, I'm trying out new sleeping arrangements to see which works better.

If ER sleeps on his cot, that'll be best. AN decided to not sleep in the cot since a while ago. She kicked the sides in her sleep and frustrated herself so much she couldn't sleep properly.

Let's see how things work out.

1st Dental Appointment

AN went for get first dental checkup today.

The decaying at some parts of her teeth appears to be getting worse and that's only those we can see.

She was so brave! She didn't whine, didn't fidget, just did as the dentist asked. Dr Alison (another Alison) said AN needed fillings at 3 places and that if AN didn't feel comfy, we may need to do the fillings separately.

We were surprised when she announced that every procedure was done at the end, including the filling. AN wasn't uncomfortable at all, so she could do it. It didn't take long, but there were all these wierd buzzing sounds happening inside her mouth. She did well :)

Condition of her teeth is nothing to boast about though. The fact that she has decaying teeth and cavities to fill, that already puts me to shame. Dr Alison said it's good enough that we brush her teeth twice a day like what we have been doing. She hardly snack on sugary stuff. I wondered what could have caused these dental concerns. We follow proper dental hygiene rather faithfully. Dr Alison then pointed out the big culprit: MILK.

Now that the bad stuff had been fixed, we have to be doubly careful to brush where the toothbrush can barely reach: the molars.

And we were told AN can now use adult toothpaste.

Another sign that she's no longer THAT little!

Funny Brother, Gentle Sister

Not the first time I'm saying this but I'm enjoying my little boy. He's probably doing what other babies are doing at this age and these behaviors are seriously, irresistibly adorable!

He was latched on a while ago, and drifting back to dreamland. Then he released a series of long fart. He stopped suckling for the next few seconds, looked up at me while still latched on, and then giggled. In less less than 3 seconds, his eyes started to close, and he's now asleep again.

The kids were home alone with me last night while Mr Liow was out having coffee with his friends. Again, I enjoyed the time together. AN is such a fantastic helper when I'm up to my neck with ER! After they had their dinner, AN suggested: "Mum, why don't you switch on the tv, I'll take care of ER and then u can have your dinner?"

I took her suggestion and had an uninterrupted dinner. She sat ER beside herself and once in a while turned to look at him.

Cheeky boy would turned to her at some points during the shows and blabber, as if he had some comments to share. Each time he got too exited and shifted his body too much as he turned to talk to his sister, she would put her arms around him and pull him towards her, to keep him from falling off the sofa.

He's really quite a nuisance when AN's doing serious stuff. He wants her coloring tools, her pencils, her books. Whatever she's doing, he wants to participate. I give him his own so that he can be doing what AN is doing but he prefers his sister's.

AN is so cool about his interruptions. This extraordinary patience is a rare sight. She doesn't snatch, she gently explains to him why he shouldn't be snatching from her, she tries to distract him with something else and looks to me for help in prying him off her activities instead of getting upset.

This further convinces me that it's easier for AN to take instructions when she hears it from as few people as possible. She's less confused because we adults do not always give same instructions. What's she going to follow when we contradict each other? And when lesser instructions are given, she has a clearer mind to act out of her own initiation.

Under usual circumstances, she will get frustrated with ER and snatch her stuff back from him.

I wish for more of such opportunities to appreciate her gentle nature. She's showing less of that these days.

We have decided to continue to leave AN at mum's place. That's after taking into consideration how AN eats better there. I will likely take her home from Mon-Wed and leave her with mum on Thurs and Fri.

Besides being better able to do some revision with her at home, I really want her to myself too. I want to enjoy her before she grows up. She's growing up too fast...

It's her first dental appointment today. We're getting her teeth polished and some brown stains dealt with. Let's hope she'll be an easy patient :)

Fights

If we should FIGHT one day, who do you think will win?

Quotes

MIL got this somewhere. It's a pack of q & a cards, in line with the "Dads For Life" campaign a while ago, targeted at forging stronger ties between fathers and their kids.

Truth is, asian dads generally put more emphasis on providing for the family. That's especially true with my dad's generation and before.

Dads are important in the lives of their children. In this "I-everything" age, it's easier to sit our kids beside us while we play games and they watch, or pass them the tablet while we get some moments of peace.

Not that it's wrong. But we need quality time with the kids.

Found a number of inspiring quotes but didn't have time to properly go through with my little tiger trying to grab my cards. Managed to get a picture of only one.

Not just for dads, I'd say.

:)

K ONE!

AN had just left for school. She is in K1 now. There's going to be more school work from now on.

Also, I'm trying to stop AN from relying on her training pants at night now. I'm probably one of the few Singaporean mum to train her baby to stay off diaper at this ripe old age of 4 years (or 5 as of 2012).

I couldn't sleep the whole night, having to take her to the restroom every hour from midnight to 4am and worrying she would pee on the bed in between the hours.

She did fine for 1st few nights. No accidents and no actual need to wake up hourly to pee.

Now it's a routine of abt 1.5 hrs to 2 hrs in between toilet sessions till about 5am. She should have emptied her bladder by then.

There was an accident last night though, so I have more stuff to wash but it's ok. I only have to wash. It's tougher on her because she couldn't have proper rest these few nights coz of the frequent trips to the toilet.

She drinks milo with milk before sleep now. That's 240mls of fluid in her system, sometimes more. She's addicted to milo and if she tries to skip that, she will not be able to sleep and either Mr Liow or I will have to get up to make her some, by midnight.

If she can skip that, I'm sure there'll be no problem for her to stay dry...

But that means less calorie intake for her...

Dilemma.

Guess I'll just carry her to the toilet so she doesn't need to wake up till she's seated. poor girl was a zombie this morning..

Bad Decision

Saw a really cool pull out bed this evening with storage at the sides. The kids had been sleeping on their mattresses for as long as they were born and sleeping so near the ground means breathing in dust all the time.

Without much consideration, we excitedly paid for one and rejoiced at how much space we will save when the lower bed gets pushed in during daytime. Not forgetting the built in storage space that comes with the bed. And the bed looks really beautiful!

But we did not totally feel at ease after paying up. Something didn't feel right.

The moment we got home, Mr Liow did some measurements and was horrified to realize the bed wasn't going to fit into our miserable little bedroom :( We can squeeze it in, but with the lower bed extended, we will not be able to open the door.

The owner of the shop offered to help us take a look tomorrow. It's impossible we get to own that bed without sacrificing even more space. Let's see where the discussion will get us tomorrow.

Quite disappointing....

Petty Thoughts **feel free to skip

Selfish mums sometimes produce extraordinarily filial children.

With all those selfish actions and comments day in and out, he is not affected. Oh well, he grew up hearing selfish comments and is used to selfish behaviours. So sweet of him to want to get her an Ipod touch, still. Let me predict what is going to happen following the purchase: she will not know how to use it, and Itunes. It will become his responsibility. She will get frustrated, call the itouch a "stupid" device (given her infamous record of being ungrateful) and blame Mr Liow for getting this for her.

If u see this, watch out for what is going to happen.

Wasn't that what happened when you went to fetch her from airport after her trip? You got scolded for circling with tired kids in tow while she waited for us at the wrong place. Talk about 'stupidity', really. You got scolded for delivering her phone. You got scolded when she was frustrated as you helped her with her computer. We got scolded when we brought her things she asked for, just because she was feeling foul. She doesn't need any reasons to scold anyone.

This same selfish mum who thought spending for just ONE of your trip overseas when u were a teenager was a total waste of money is also one who asked if u really want something and offered to help but when you jokingly said "ok" to her offer, regretted asking and came up with all sorts of reasons why she will need all that she has, for herself.

Go ahead and get yourself into more s**t. Don't get me involved in unnecessary mood spoiler situation. That's not my mum. My mum is not that temperamental, selfish, ungrateful. 

Heng I'm an android person. It's going to be none of my business.

You say there will not be a next time each time u get it from her for no reasons. Actually, orbigood. You ask for it.

:p

Another Tragic End to A Year...

http://www.asiaone.com/News/Latest%2BNews/Singapore/Story/A1Story20120101-319392.html

Last year, Mr Liow lost a friend the day before the new 2011. This year, another news. Not his friend but the wife. They were posted to Mountain Home and had been travelling.

Mr Liow knew the wife, so he's somewhat affected. What's sad is, the kids are really young. Heard the youngest is only 4 months old.

Please do keep the family in prayers. There seems to be more than a family affected. Help us keep them in your thoughts.

Ill manners

- Budged in with a question when everyone was engaged in conversations with each other

- Shouted out rudely to tell us off when she got no reply because no one heard her asking (because we were all engaged in something)

If it was AN, we would have disciplined her for:

(1) interrupting, because that would be rude

(2) throwing a hissy fit when she doesn't get her way, because that would be so...ill mannered.

But it was not AN. It was someone none of us could discipline. Don't bother guessing who that person is. Soon after, I went into the room to inform her that we were leaving and she ignored me. Sickening...

She's still scolding this new helper. They had sent away countless helpers. None of them pleased her, till the last and lousiest came and left. She, then, realised the first helper they had was good. This new one is as nice as the first, and she speaks Mandarin! language is no longer an issue! Still, not happy.

Not happy? Nevermind. She still enjoys scolding their helpers. Even WE get it from her because she doesn't know how to wait for her turn to ask a question. What's a maid to her?

Poor helper went to get umbrella as instructed by her but mam suddenly not happy. Mam asks her: "u bring umbrella for what? U are supposed to carry food. Don't expect me to carry for you." It looked as if it was going to rain by the way. Got umbrella as instructed also kena scolding. Going to rain but not allowed to bring along that umbrella. And 'she' keeps boasting about how well she treats her helper, unlike 'other people'.

-_____-"

I was to get a haircut this weekend. Mr Liow asked for help with the kids during the hours of my absence. I didn't mind postponing the haircut on Saturday because of a new year eve dinner with Mr Liow's sis.

'She' previously said she would help with the kids on Sunday since I would not be able to do it on Saturday, BUT her friend would be alone on Sunday. 'She' actually had the cheeks to tell me to get my hair done on Monday instead, because she feels compelled to keep her friend company.

Why must I work around the timing of HER friend? So ridiculous!

Many times, she asked me why I never attempted to bring my mum to Christ. I have never stopped praying for my parents but to her question, my answer will be: "because I do not attempt to run or dictate my mum and her life."

Just this evening, when she heard my mum was in temple, she rolled her eyes at me, as if disgusted by the fact that my mum was where she was. Even Mr Liow saw.

Hey, u want to run your daughter's life, your helper's life, your own life, it's none of my business. Who are you to tell me to get MY life moving at your convenience? Who are you to deduce that I'm not concerned about my parents' salvation? Who are you to show obviously visible disgust at my mum's beliefs?

So rude.