Mummy you look happier

I was reading property news. AN saw and asked me what I actually do now. I explained to her and she smiled while commenting : "Mummy you really love property?"

 

I said it's fun but I still love makeup more.

 

She then told me what she thought: "I think you really like to do property because you look happier now."

 

She noticed that?  Because I still blow up at them when they throw tantrums. I still punish them when they misbehave. I'm still as fierce as always.

 

She said that I'm happier although I still get angry at them when they are naughty.

 

Really? How so?

 

"Mummy, you smile more now. And when I see that you are happy, I'm also happy. I think you really like what you are doing now and I'm really happy for you."

 

She sounds so matured.

 

I do enjoy working now. I also do enjoy cleaning up again. Everyday had been fruitful! I had cleaned up different areas, a little a day. Set aside time to read and prepare project details when they are not around, after a couple hours of cleaning up.

 

When they come back, I need to cook. So unless they are really tired and can nap within minutes, I allow them to spend time playing while I prepare dinner. After that I clean up the kitchen.

 

I'm no longer irked that the kitchen is constantly sticky and the whole area around the sink, WET and tonnes of unknown particles stuck to cabinet doors and table tops. No longer turning oily taps to get water and wondering if the water that exits the tap is good for drinking.

 

I had, before she left, touched and felt detergent at the water outlet. Meaning the water that came out, came out together with detergent. We fill the electric kettle with that water and drink it???????

 

AN thinks I'm happier because I enjoy "working" which is not totally wrong. I'm also happier now because I have duties that I can carry out without interferences.

 

I think the "breakup" is showing its benefits.

 

She refuses to reply my invitation for weekend stay over. She defiantly refused when Mr Liow suggested she stay with us when her places gets a new coat of paint. She said she moved out and that meant she will never come back to our place. She told AN that she's going back to her own home and she doesn't like our home. That she only likes her own home. So childish.

 

Whatever.

 

It always has to be a breakup, right?

 

Her with her daughter. And her with us now.

 

She can live angry for all I care. I did my part by thanking her for cooking for us and extending my invitation. I can't do anything if she wants to throw tantrums.

 

End of story.

Changes

MIL is shifting out today.

Am I excited? Not really.

I'm definitely missing her absence but not her (maybe not yet. Maybe distance will do the relationship some good).

The past weeks since I promised to try to speak to her, I did. But her expression and tone of voice each time, made me feel like she's doing me a favor by replying. The last straw came on the day of the graduation concert last Saturday. I've not had time to update but it was upsetting.

Seriously this year had been damaging. There are sensitive questions that cannot be asked without expecting some sort of sarcasm (such as "I'm not staying in your house by then. What do you want?" as a reply to an invitation to kids' concert.)

She's most welcome to stay over every weekend as before and I extended that offer to her through Mr Liow. I don't know what she thinks of that or if Mr Liow asked.

No one is shutting her out and she's more than welcome to stay. Just that I need a distance. A safe distance to maintain my boundary. To avoid an invasion.

What's going to happen after this? We'll see.

I'm going to start packing up and re-organizing some stuff.

AN said she's interested to try sleeping in that room by herself. It's encouraging but gave her an option of returning to sleep with ER if she's still uncomfy to do so alone.

Also to update, I've moved back to sleeping in the master bedroom. Tonight marks my first week.

First few nights weren't that smooth. Either of them would come look for me in the middle of the night and I would go back to sleep in their room.

And one morning, I found myself waking in their room without anyone acknowledging that they made me go back (Mr Liow wasn't aware anyone came in to get me. AN said she didn't wake up. ER denied crying in the middle of the night. I must have sleep-walked then.)

It's almost like a new beginning for me today.

I continue to pray against oppression and negativity. I pray that the Lord will continue to guide me out of ungodly parenting and anger.

Breathe.

My Mum Knows Nothing, Except Sacrifice

My mum is a traditional grandmother. She is not good with encouraging words. She can't speak words of wisdom, can't write poems and articles.

She doesn't have bombastic theories based on books she reads that she can share with us. She can't even properly explain interesting tips she read on the papers when we ask for more inf0.

She is not an expert in early childhood.She doesn't read about how to discipline children or why they should not be punished.

She doesn't know what aliens and spaceships are. She doesn't know who is prime minister of Australia and who is president of USA. Or where on the globe is Italy.

She has never gone for a facial or manicure. She is not very familiar with any of our smartphones.

She knows what is good for us and what is bad but she doesn't know why.

After she bought her first tablet, she came to our place asking to learn how to use it. And requested that l install apps for the kids so that they can learn using it. She did not ask for Candy Crush or apps for her to watch drama.

l casually told mum AN had craving for sticky rice this morning and next thing I know, mum messaged me that she's on her way to get it for us. It's not from somewhere nearby. And it's now raining heavily.

My mum loves the kids right from the bottom of her heart. The most sincere and direct type that didn't get tainted by advises and instructions from childcare experts.

And she doesn't contradict my chosen way of disciplining the juniors by quoting experts who write that they have other better solutions.

She leaves the reading up to me and continue to love them her own uneducated way, like how grandmas love grandchildren.

She will do for them, what their other grandma finds a chore. There has not been anything she will not do for them. Or us. If only we ask.

And l do not like to ask for her help when l already know she has prior arrangements. She deserves to do what she likes during her free time and l know she will cancel her appointments to help with them should l ask.

She is the type of friend my MIL would gossip and complain about.

That tells a lot about different priorities each has in their lives. And not how some has exclusive rights to put down others who places family and children in utmost importance.

It's clear who is more deserving of respect.

Washing Dustpan in the Kitchen Sink

There are 4 basins in the house. And 2 shower points.

Of all these 6 water points, she chooses the kitchen sink to wash the dust pan. That's also where she washed the fan, using the same sponge for dish washing, on machine grease on the dusty fan blades and face plate.

And that's where she dries washed cups, rims down on the same dirty table top right beside the sink. Despite the drying rack just above that table.

I cannot comprehend the wierd way she does things.

I've constantly reminded her (before I stopped talking to her altogether) that what's for washing dishes IS SOLELY FOR WASHING DISHES!

The last time I reminded her before I stopped totally, was that day she insisted I told her not to wash the brown-oiled stained non stick pan. I replied for the last time: "mother. 我一向来都强调卫生最重要。我不可能叫你不要洗锅的。"

You know when it's pointless saying more because she's ready to pick a fight and accuse me of disrespect and I'm not ready to do it in front of my kids.

But how?

He's tolerating the remaining of her stay here and reminds me that she's leaving when I tell him the amazing things I discovered. She gets her way now because she's leaving.

And we wonder why the kids do not recover. ER gets soft stool constantly too.

I'm ruling in lactose intolerance for now and will cut down on milk to find out.

This intolerance got worse after she moved in with us.

We'll find out by end of this year IF she does move out.

And she has the decency to criticize me in front of AN. Really lol at such thick skin.

Self Fulfilled Prophecy

She got what she had been looking for. ER doesn't want to go to school today.

I should let her know and 顺便ask if it makes her happy now to hear tt. That was a prophecy that she had been working on to self fulfill, wasn't it?

Instilling Fear

Again.

AN glanced at the mirror and looked away immediately after. She looked a little frightened.

I asked her what happened and she said her nai nai warned her not to stare at the mirror for too long because that will give her nightmares.

Seriously.

First she caused AN to fear the dark by saying that it's necessary to keep a night light on last year because it's scary to sleep in the dark. Took a while before AN would sleep without lights from my phone.

Now this.

She's scared of everything. Scared of ghosts. Scared no money. Scared of opened doors because crooks will surely enter if we don't close the door. Scared of living on ground level because there are people who work shifts to break in to houses everyday. She locks the door when she sleeps because she's scared of break ins. She's scared of yellow lights in her room and we changed it to white.

And she has to scare my daughter with her own superstitious fears (and AS MUCH AS SHE ALWAYS JUDGES SUPERSTITIOUS RELATIVES, SHE NEVER ADMITS TO BEING SUPERSTITIOUS HERSELF.)

Is living a life full of fear so fun she has to share it with my daughter?

She can be scared of the ants and I dont care but why won't she just stop there and not bring senseless fear into this House?

Should we remind her to stop spouting nonsense to the kids? I can hear her reply right now in my brains: "你们的孩子 我才不会去管。"   or  "我什么都不对 你们什么都对。"

If I can only reply her "你什么都对。是我们不会教孩子。他们应该什么都怕。相你一样。"

Update

She mentioned nothing about leaving in August since that day I confronted her about the pan she never washed but had all been cooking with.

Today, she asked Mr Liow if our contractor can fix off-the-shelf cabinets for her WHEN SHE MOVES BACK IN DECEMBER.

December.  Not August anymore. And she didn't even inform me. And Mr Liow appears to know. He didn't inform me either. How cool, the mother and son team.

Like always, she decides. She doesn't need to inform because she's Empress. I empathize with the fact that her tenants can only move in December. But to date she still hasn't learnt to respect owners of the House she's currently staying in, enough to notify change of plans.

Oh wait. I'm not the owner of this House. No wonder she sees no need in respecting me.

I forgot. I'm just a nobody. Why should anyone inform me anything? I forgot.  I just need to swallow it all. Sorry. I forgot.

What Am I Busy With?

If you ask me what I do the whole day, I don't really know. It seemed like I do nothing but everything I did, I did with a rush.

The very insensitive person in our house wondered what kept her sister (who was looking after a new grand daughter who is 7 days younger than ER) so busy that she kept missing her calls.

That same period,  she would flare up at Mr Liow and I when we missed her calls. ER was only months old.

Her question: "有电话不接,拿电话干什么 ? 丢掉拉。" (why keep a phone when you don't answer calls?  You should dump it.)

This explains how she never fails to answer her calls even if she's in the midst of cooking or babysitting. Calls are more important than children.

That also explains more of why I have no respect for her. For one who had been through motherhood herself, who had helped with Grand children, I can't see how hard it is to understand how tight time is each day.

Don't understand nevermind. So mean with her comments too. I don't have to be nice in my comments with her either.

By the way, I heard her telling AN off and thought I heard wrongly. Checked with AN and then realized she ACTUALLY told AN off because she accidentally kicked AN and AN told her she kicked her.

I heard her tell AN "我不小心,你讲我踢你" after telling AN off she didn't apologize. What a fantastic example she's setting.

Not only did she not apologize,  she scolded AN for defending herself.

I'M SPEECHLESS.

Interference

Everyday after school, the kids have their nap. They don't have to if they are not sleepy but lately ER is because he wakes up early for school now.

Both MUST have me in their sight. So the practice is, we all lie down together. Whoever is sleepy will sleep. Whoever isn't asleep in 15 mins will leave the room with me.

After washing them up this afternoon, I helped ER with toilet duties while AN went into the room that became her grandma's.

Once done, I announced for AN to get ready to lie down.

Then the grandma told her "这么大了 不要再睡午觉了。以后去学校也没地睡。"

AN already had intentions to not sleep. All I needed was peace for the sleepy one to nap. If AN is tired, she will naturally doze off.

In front of AN, she overwrote me. Again!
I didn't care that she wasn't talking to me and I replied "以后读下午班 不需要7点起身 哪里会象现在累。"

She then replied that AN doesn't have to nap. That she should sleep early at night.

What does she know? IF the kids are tired but didn't get to nap, they start dozing at about 5pm.

Did she know that? Did she mean that they should sleep without dinner? Is that early enough?

When they fuss and get cranky, who faces the music. Not her! It's me!

Moreover they get a choice. 15 mins and they are free to get up if they do not doze off.

AN is growing up like she said. Most days now, she doesn't nap. If she does, I'll wake her in an hour.

Today, AN left the room with me after ER dozed off. Didn't take more than 5 mins and he knocked out.

The damage was her giving contradicting instructions when we have routines to follow AND I BLOODY KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!

So great that grandma is encouraging impending disobedience isn't it? AN had no intention to put up a fight.  Was the grandma instigating her to fight me?

St. Hilda's or North Vista

She's been harping on the Primary One registration these few days. Just yesterday, she asked AN which school she will be going to.

AN asked me and I told her St. Hilda's Primary (SHPS).

The grandma then replied her "不包进的".

This morning she asked me again. I told her SHPS again. She then asked about our chances.

I told her that unless there's a quota and the quota is met for Phase 2A (Alumni), AN should get a place. All alumni applications had been successfully for the past 2 years.

Because she had been helping out at that school for years (in the Chinese storytelling voluntary group), she offered  to speak to "Catherine" if we do not get a place.

No thank you.

I'm there for SHPS because i can jump queue. If AN doesn't get in, I'll settle for North Vista. I'm not desperate to get AN into SHPS like she assumes. She's so proud she is part of a 'branded' school but that's just her.

She said a volunteer moved to Tampines for that very purpose of getting the highest possible chance of a place for her kid in the school.

Well, we didn't. We are still in Sengkang.

What makes her think that she's powerful enough to get AN in if we do not even get in at Phase 2A? Her voluntary work? She's only a grandma and not even a Guardian.

If she can, go help the volunteers who worked hard during the volunteering period but didn't get a place for their children. They are deserving because they worked for it.

Don't hide in the comfort of home while criticizing the parent-volunteers for coming and going as they please.  Most of those volunteers have full time jobs and annual leave (precious as they are) have been utilised for nothing in some cases.

I don't need her help.

Even if I ever had been excited at the thought of AN going to the same school as I did, I no longer am. Because HER HIGHNESS is part of that school on voluntary basis.

I don't appreciate having anything in common with her.

I just can't wait for the day I can breathe again.

When daddy is not chauffer

"Mother, 那里有红录登。我带孩子时不在这里过。危险。"

She got offended and started raising her voice, "你又不早讲!"

Ridiculous.

She was holding AN when she dashed across the road with AN dragging her trolley bag behind the grandma. I was carrying ER so that we could cross the side road to the pedestrian crossing on the other side.  By the time I had him in my arms, she was already halfway across. How to "早讲"?!

She always emphasizes that she's very cautious whenever we ask her to watch out. This only shows that I trusted her more that I should again. Even when my trust in her is already minimum.

She repeated twice that I should have informed her earlier that I don't want her to jaywalk. She said that's where she had been crossing.

Is she trying to pick a fight? All I said was it's dangerous and I don't jaywalk with my kids. She can walk in the middle of the road by herself and I don't give a damn.

Why not then she tell me earlier that she jaywalks every time instead of telling me that she's always very cautious. So that I can expect a supposed "new age, educated  and cautious grandmother" will do something dangerous and illegal with my kids.

They ought to be taught road safety. Not recklessness! No cars so what? How accurate can a child be in determining distance or road condition? It's easier to teach them to tell green man means go for pedestrians! And to make sure no cars are coming at them before crossing because that is when cars know they ought to stop for pedestrians. Not in the middle of nowhere.

No wonder she was upset last year when she kept complaining that a car wouldn't stop for the niece even though that was a quiet road and niece was about to cross the road. In her opinion, cars should stop for people.

Her highness has moved her expectations to Sengkang.

For tomorrow, I'll bring them before she's ready so that I don't get her "help". To think she nagged that me bringing 2 kids to school on my own is dangerous (I bring them out, I fetch them from school. I see no real danger).

She's the real danger lor!

War

I had been complaining to Mr Liow many issues with her, mainly HYGIENE.

When she came, she said that I should let her know if ever conflict arise because there's bound to be disagreement living together. 

I did. 

From dropping clothes onto the bottom of the drying ledge, to finding mouldy dried food stufff, to separating raw and cooked food. To a point I hate to even tell her anything.  Because her answer is mostly either "I didn't do that. I don't know." or "I've done this for decades and nothing bad happened."

Today, the vegetable compartment in the fridge started leaking black liquid out onto the ledge inside out fridge. 

What was it? From rotten vegetables? Or spilled juice? Mr Liow spoke to her on my behalf.  She said it's no big deal, she would wash it. She found rotten vegetables but said she didn't buy that. 

Great. Not her fault again. Who else besides her, buys vegetables these days?

We could sense she was offended. She pressed him on why he went to check the compartment all of a sudden because it had nothing to do with him. He said he went to get a drink and saw the liquid dripping out.  That was when I saw during the day too.

She probed further but when she realized Mr Liow wasn't going to say I was the one who found the disgusting liquid dripping out, she replied "不用经。我知道了。"

I'm sensitive maybe.  I hear that as she knew I told him to speak to her.

Then an hour ago, I spoke to her about the unwashed pan. She didn't wash it again today.  After I spent a long time yesterday washing away OLD OIL COOKED OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

She got defensive and said she's didn't wash because I may not want her to wash it.

Wtf?

All along, I'm a kiasi mum.  I emphasized hygiene repeatedly.  She said she didn't want to wash the pan and then have me tell her that it shouldn't have been washed.

She then brought up the stuff we spoke to her about during this period and said she really doesn't know what I want.

I replied in defense that I would never have asked her not to wash.  It's hygiene for goodness sake!

She repeated that I asked her not to wash certain things.

Like what? Clothes? Floor? Those are not food!

For the 3rd and last time I repeated that hygiene is the key and used utensils and crockerys are to be washed except that I do not use rough and scratchy sponges on them, if that was what she meant.

She stood her grounds and insisted that she didn't want to spoil the pan by washing it and be blamed for it.

That's it. 

I said okay. The conversation is getting nowhere.

In case you wonder, I replied her calmly and she too didn't raise her voice.  It was the most well mannered confrontation I ever had.

Immediately after I left her room, she came out and told Mr Liow she was sorry for moving in with us and that she would move out in August once she gets her flat back. 

Win. I'm the bad guy now. She win already. This is the first time I confronted her. The other times I would inform her and back off right away.

So much for "let me know if you are uncomfortable with anything I say or do."

Go and show yourself as a victim for all I care.

I don't care anymore.  Good guys are stupid people. I have enough of being taken advantage of just because I never dared to fight back.

Go and complain to the whole world that you have a terrible daughter in law.
Really. I'm done being nice!

Hygiene

This is the Happy Call Diamond Pan my mum gave me.

But MIL cooks with it these days.  And I wonder if she EVER washes it!

I saw oil stains and tried wiping it with paper towel but it wasn't just oil. It was thick black oil that couldn't be cleaned by wiping.

I washed the pan with soap, left it to dry overnight and this morning when I cleaned it with baking soda again, the thick black oil is still there.

She NEVER EVER WASHED THE PAN?

I haven't posted that I found mouldy dried food stuff in the cabinet twice have I? I checked with her and she defiantly countered that she will be careful and not cook those if she sees that they have turned mouldy. The problem is, she hardly notices things in detail.

Not once but twice I found those mouldy food.  If she was that careful as she thinks she is, she wouldn't have continued to leave them in there.  Would you see mouldy food and continue to leave them inside?

Moreover, these yucky stuff weren't hidden. They were right before my eyes when I opened the cabinet to get pasta to prepare for ER. She opens that cabinet almost daily because she cooks and SHE NEVER NOTICES?

And still she defends herself by insisting she's careful.

Win.

I have to inspect every corner busy to maintain basic hygiene.

So fun.

Fuming Mad

Mr Liow is feverish.  She offered to make green bean soup because she thinks he's heaty. He didn't want to drink and she sarcastically replied "我还是煮。我也要喝 免的又给你们传染"

When I was weak from fever, I was still struggling with ER in the middle of the night because he wasn't weaned yet.  Already since the first few nights, I was on my own.

Let's not mention night.

Even during the day, I would hide in the room. And ER would be with me. Because she declared "he doesn't want me anyway. "

She either went out as usual.  Or simply does her own stuff without even trying to get his attention.  The only time I get to rest is when my mum specially comes over to bring him to her place.

AN had been coughing for a long time till Friday. She has finally recovered.  But I'm now coughing.  Again,  who cleans up after her when she threw up or makes honey water when she coughs?

I don't expect her to help. My kids are my duty.

But that sickening,  hateful remark about us making her fall sick SIMPLY SUCKS at helping to make things better.  Does she have to make that sacarstic remark?

Again, all she thinks is about herself!

She gave no help when I was sick.  And here she is, upset that SHE may possibly fall sick because of us.

Have you all met anyone more self centered? I'm living with one. How fortunate.

It's my house but I had to hide in the room. Chickenpox is contagious but my son has to hide in the room with me (because he didn't like her, the stranger).

But that wasn't enough. She is still upset that I may make her sick??????????!!!!!!

She still wants to behave like a Queen? Just because her son can take her nonsense, she can get away with everything.

The only thing I get for her behavior is "she has low eq".

Oh.  So I have to tolerate.

I'm not going to anymore.

Never hated anyone more than this.  Ever.

All the goodness in me, GONE. 

DIED.

Bringing Him Out

To be fair, I thought it'd be good I note that MIL brought ER out so that I could go hide in the room.  Whether he will come back banging on my door after they come back is a different story.

He cried all the way to the LRT. Not a very willing shopper today as compared to yesterday when my mum brought him out.

MIL has a piece of advice to me: "You fall sick easily.  Quickly wean him off. It'll be easier for you."

Really?

Because he didn't cry for mem mem when I have to be separated from him.  He cries for me. 

Because we have a mother-son bond.  Because I spend time with him and on him. Because I give him attention and he is comfortable with me. Because we do things together.  Because I don't simply brush him off with "我不懂你讲什么" and walk away when he's blabbering.

Because this grandma doesn't bother, he knows.

Has this got anything to do with my mem mem?  Bottle-fed babies don't stick to their mums??

He can be bottle-fed and still need me by his side. It's normal,  no?

Whatever it is,  her efforts in taking him out today,  I appreciate.

That's about it.

My Angels

My mum is always my greatest care giver when I'm in my worst of health.  (that's not to say Mr Liow isn't but he's not one who can differentiate between heaty ailments and cooling ones).

Even when she doesn't stay with us, she makes her way here to deliver chestnut drinks she started preparing since 4am every morning since Friday.   

And she offers to cancel whatever appointment she has to take care of the kids for us so that even Mr Liow could get some break.

Mr Liow had been picking them up from her when he wasn't working over the weekends and keeping the kids occupied.  The kids short-circuit his temper many times. Thanks dear for giving me that much rest time.  And for bearing with the Kids' nonsenseS.

I was lying down most of the time because my bottom hurt.  I cringed everytime I had to wipe myself after peeing. I couldn't sit. It was horrible.... Felt almost exactly like I had been stitched up after childbirth.

ER at this point, shouldn't still be nursing. It wasn't easy but he had learnt to ask for me to hug him tightly while he slept instead of "mem mem". He'll probably be weaned after this.

His little brains figured that since it was those bumps on my body that stopped me from nursing him, if those bumps vanished, he should be allowed to nurse again. So, he asked me to cover the bumps on my neck with my hair and face with my bangs. Then he victoriously declared: "Mummy, no more bumps!"

When that failed, he got me to check his body for bumpS by insisting he felt one. l did find one but it didn't look like a pox. When l admitted that was a bump , he frowned and pleaded: "Ethan has lots of bumps. Ethan needs "Mem mem". 

Didn't work, so he gave me a hard time before deciding that a hug to sleep was the best mum can afford to give now.

AN is another angel.

She had been updating me on my hideous appearance daily.

l look obviously frightening but she assured me that l wasn't. That she loves me even with those bumps.

And every morning, she'Il tell me l look better than the day before.

Well, my MIL, giving the reason: "反正我在家他也不要我", either goes out as usual or doesn't give a damn even when she's home.

My mum cancelled her appointment on Saturday just so we could rest. MIL was in such a convenient position to help but she had no such intentions.

Only when she heard me tell Mr Liow that my mum would help on Saturday did she suggest bringing AN and ER out herself to meet the nieces after AN's lesson yesterday.

Today is the same.

My mum will be coming to take ER to her home. MIL left home early before lunch. ER is none of her concern.

Tommorrow will be the same. My mum will help so that MIL can go out without feeling guilty.

What kind of a MIL is that? What kind of a grandma do my kids have?

l won't die without rest but the kids should keep a distance as much as possible.

After so many months and ER is still rejecting her. That just shows how much effort she makes in bonding with him.

* ROLLS EYES *

Because I'm not bounded by your schedule

She went out to meet her ex-celebrity friend on Tuesday by telling me on Monday night.

I didn't want to give my mum last minute notice to help, so I did whatever revision I could with ER by my side.

Just for the record, she didn't help on Monday either.

She was available on Wednesday and told me on Monday.

But because she WILL leave whenever someone dates her, I'm NOT SUBJECTING MYSELF TO ONLY STUDY AT HER AVAILABLE TIMING.

I left ER at my mum's place after pre-arranging with her.

Since that Wednesday, she (not my mum) would subtly suggest that she was available on Wednesday but I chose to leave ER with my mum.

She then innocently added: "我有在家，可以帮你看， 可是随便你们喜欢"

Mr Liow suggested he'll take leave to help me and she repeated that I chose to bring ER to my mum on Wednesday.

Today when Mr Liow asked her again, she repeated she will be able to help from Monday-Wednesday (tomorrow onwards). AND ADDED THAT SHE WAS ACTUALLY HOME TO HELP LAST WEDNESDAY.

I'm trying hard not to retort that I bought ER to my mum on Wednesday because she (his mum) "flew kite" on me both Monday and Tuesday last week, at last minute.

I haven't much time left to ther exam dates but she doesn't feel the importance of it.

I don't blame her. My exam really doesn't benefit her (neither makes her richer, or prettier, famous nor younger).

But to keep using the Wednesday's incident, apparently against me, implying that I was the one who didn't appreciate her "help", that's just testing how long I can hold out before getting defensive.

What help did she give? Just some convenience to spare. Don't go bragging about it....

"Because I'm home"

She made lunch for ER despite me telling her that I will do it.

Go ahead.

But she cooked and then went back to "her" room. She didn't inform me to watch the fire (but because I'm not as nonchalant as she is, I saw when I went into the kitchen, more times than the one who was cooking!)

The liquid in the pot dried up and I heard sizzling. I shut the fire off and went to inform her what she was making for ER was dried up.

She rushed out to check and said she totally forgot about it.

But it's never her fault. She had to add: "I'm usually very careful. It's because YOU are home today."

My fault for being home?? You, not remembering to turn off the fire, my fault?

I swallowed that offending remark and added a little boiled water to the porridge. Always porridge. Only porridge.

She then commented that she hasn't added salt.

I was surprised because she advocates healthy food and boasts to her friends that she never added salt to food she prepares for kids.

She even commented once that the pasta soup I made was too salty. It was made with scallop. Tasty, not salty in my opinion. I never used salt in their food.

Hypocrite!

I showed my surprise: "Huh? You add salt in his food?"

You'll be amazed at her answer: "No! I never add salt!"

Shuts me up everytime she lies through her teeth.

Then she continued: "At most a little (touching her pinky to emphasis how little). If not, it tastes so plain, he won't eat."

So she does add salt.

I told her I usually make soup stock from chicken, pork, scallop, anchovies etc to make soup tasty. Salt is not necessary. 

I don't mind salt but I hate dishonesty. Can you trust someone dishonest? She claims impressive ways with your kids but then you have to find out otherwise.

No, she's not ER's caretaker. She just forces her way around. And till I pass my exam, I'm allowing her.

Beggars cannot be choosers.

I'm glad though she has grand plans to save the world outside on most days so I don't have her "help".

In case you wonder, I added cream cheese to the porridge. She asked if ER gets diarrhea eating "mixed-up" food like this.

He never did. At least there's protein and calcium together with sodium in his food instead of PURELY SODIUM.

And she so confidently boasts to friends how she handles kids, even mine now (that apparently are just sweet nothings, to impress)

Help?

"I have something on today. I'll help you tomorrow", she said.

Whatever. I don't NEED her convenience.

Suddenly this morning, she updated me that she will be meeting Mavis Hee (the singer) tomorrow and cannot help me with ER.

Her star friend that she's so proud to know. She'll drop whatever she's doing for that glam gathering, a boost to her already high status.

Whatever.

Help? What help?

It's more like a coincidence that she has no tai tai business going on that she's home and it's convenient for me to leave ER with her.

I'm not upset.

I just want to bookmark this in case she starts using "her sacrificial help" to claim credit after I pass, or shame me if I fail.

世上的妈妈不是每个好。

I'm Fat

MIL asked if I'm pregnant.

I'm not.

She then joked that I look like I am.

Not funny. Not when it's her joke.

At SIL's place, she would constantly demean SIL and sneer at SIL saying she's fat and looks pregnant; "很难看."

Seems like she's shifting all her  habits over here. Soon, she'll very insensitively laugh that I'm getting fat and all, and then maybe tell me that I'm becoming increasingly ugly.

Yes, she's that insensitive.

And she does sit ups at home. Every now and then, she will tell me to work my abs like she's always been doing.

She wants me to idolise her?

I rather grow fat.