Mummy you look happier

I was reading property news. AN saw and asked me what I actually do now. I explained to her and she smiled while commenting : "Mummy you really love property?"

 

I said it's fun but I still love makeup more.

 

She then told me what she thought: "I think you really like to do property because you look happier now."

 

She noticed that?  Because I still blow up at them when they throw tantrums. I still punish them when they misbehave. I'm still as fierce as always.

 

She said that I'm happier although I still get angry at them when they are naughty.

 

Really? How so?

 

"Mummy, you smile more now. And when I see that you are happy, I'm also happy. I think you really like what you are doing now and I'm really happy for you."

 

She sounds so matured.

 

I do enjoy working now. I also do enjoy cleaning up again. Everyday had been fruitful! I had cleaned up different areas, a little a day. Set aside time to read and prepare project details when they are not around, after a couple hours of cleaning up.

 

When they come back, I need to cook. So unless they are really tired and can nap within minutes, I allow them to spend time playing while I prepare dinner. After that I clean up the kitchen.

 

I'm no longer irked that the kitchen is constantly sticky and the whole area around the sink, WET and tonnes of unknown particles stuck to cabinet doors and table tops. No longer turning oily taps to get water and wondering if the water that exits the tap is good for drinking.

 

I had, before she left, touched and felt detergent at the water outlet. Meaning the water that came out, came out together with detergent. We fill the electric kettle with that water and drink it???????

 

AN thinks I'm happier because I enjoy "working" which is not totally wrong. I'm also happier now because I have duties that I can carry out without interferences.

 

I think the "breakup" is showing its benefits.

 

She refuses to reply my invitation for weekend stay over. She defiantly refused when Mr Liow suggested she stay with us when her places gets a new coat of paint. She said she moved out and that meant she will never come back to our place. She told AN that she's going back to her own home and she doesn't like our home. That she only likes her own home. So childish.

 

Whatever.

 

It always has to be a breakup, right?

 

Her with her daughter. And her with us now.

 

She can live angry for all I care. I did my part by thanking her for cooking for us and extending my invitation. I can't do anything if she wants to throw tantrums.

 

End of story.

Putting Words into His Mouth. PRACTICALLY.

ER woke up in a bad mood tis morning. He wanted to continue sleeping. I said ok. He insisted I sleep with him but I can't.

When he'sdifficult, he IS difficult. Not cute.

MIL rush into the room as he was screaming for me to lie down when I went to settle their morning stuff. He kept screaming that he wanted to me to lie down.

For odd reasons she kept asking him why he doesn't want to go to sch. He never once mentioned abt not going to school. It wasn't even about school. He wanted me to lie with him. Couldn't she hear?

For a good 10 mins she kept telling him he MUST go sch and asked him why he didn't like sch. She repeated her intentions at the already grouchy ER till he started telling her "I don't want to go to school!"

Like he replied her "I don't want to drink water" when she offered my water boy some in his very agitated state of mind.

I can't take it anymore and ask her to stop telling him to go sch. It's turning him off!!!!

He was just throwing tantrums because it's early and it doesn't even happen every morning.

He said he doesn't want to drink water when she asked too. But she didn't ask him why he doesn't want to drink????

Does it make her feel victorious of she finally gets ER to tell her he hates his school? Is that what she had been looking for? Why does it seem like she's constantly leading him into saying school sucks?

He kept repeating he didn't want to wake up. She keep asking in response, why he doesn't want to go sch. It wasn't even related.

She continued to ask if school is bad. I thought she learnt counseling? Didn't she learn that repeatedly asking "is school bad?" often enough MAKES one believe that school IS bad??????

She then ask me why he is crying. I said he wants to go back to slp. She then ask me why I won't let him.

Which one of her 2 ears did she hear me day no?! I told her he wanted me to lie with him and I couldnt. That was what pissed him. She then finally stopped  criticizing sch in front of him. Not before she had the last words "he's been like that the past few days. I don't know what happens to him in his school."

Should I challenge her? And start an argument? Or give her the last say?

I didn't want my children to hear me challenge her. GIVE HER THAT BIT OF DIGNITY IN FRONT OF THE KIDS. SOMETHING I AM DEPRIVED OF WHEN I GOT CHALLENGED RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.

I gave her the last say. Not because I agreed with her. But because I'm a better person.

For goodness sake. She doesn't even know where his school is located. What does she know? She continues to assume she's right without even attempting to get to know his school.

I thought she was told to leave us alone?

I knew she won't.

Instilling Fear

Again.

AN glanced at the mirror and looked away immediately after. She looked a little frightened.

I asked her what happened and she said her nai nai warned her not to stare at the mirror for too long because that will give her nightmares.

Seriously.

First she caused AN to fear the dark by saying that it's necessary to keep a night light on last year because it's scary to sleep in the dark. Took a while before AN would sleep without lights from my phone.

Now this.

She's scared of everything. Scared of ghosts. Scared no money. Scared of opened doors because crooks will surely enter if we don't close the door. Scared of living on ground level because there are people who work shifts to break in to houses everyday. She locks the door when she sleeps because she's scared of break ins. She's scared of yellow lights in her room and we changed it to white.

And she has to scare my daughter with her own superstitious fears (and AS MUCH AS SHE ALWAYS JUDGES SUPERSTITIOUS RELATIVES, SHE NEVER ADMITS TO BEING SUPERSTITIOUS HERSELF.)

Is living a life full of fear so fun she has to share it with my daughter?

She can be scared of the ants and I dont care but why won't she just stop there and not bring senseless fear into this House?

Should we remind her to stop spouting nonsense to the kids? I can hear her reply right now in my brains: "你们的孩子 我才不会去管。"   or  "我什么都不对 你们什么都对。"

If I can only reply her "你什么都对。是我们不会教孩子。他们应该什么都怕。相你一样。"

Potty Training: Almost There

ER is almost potty trained. 90% I'd say. And finally.

He was introduced to the potty as early as 18 months but I didn't put him on it very often. It was only during the nights that he got to sit on the potty. More of an introduction.

Along the way, I put him on it more. He sort of got it as days went by.  But with the shifting and that period when I was out the whole day studying in the library, he went prehistoric again. But he stayed dry during most nights except for some of those nights sieben he woke up  constantly asking to drink water. He's a water boy. He does wake up in the middle of the night to drink. Hehe. One of his cute habits.

Since last month, we had been putting him in underwear. He was so cute and went around showing off his underwear when he first had it on. After a few times of wetting his underwear and changing out of them that day, he got disappointed and defeatedly begged: "Ethan keep dirtying my underwear. Ethan don't want underwear anymore. I want my diapers."

That made me feel sorry for him and we assured him that was ok and I could wash the underwears.

It did get frustrating and we tried very hard not to show our frustration although I think he could feel it. His sweet jie jie would constantly remind us that he's learning and to not punish him. We have nointention of punishing him for this of course. Just that the frustration of cleaning up wet puddles so often each day and failing to catch him with full bladder does show on our face.

Yesterday was good! He started informing Mr Liow tat he needed to pee while AN and I were away.

It went on the whole day. He was dry at night. We went for a movie and he was dry throughout. This time is different and I think he finally got it. Because he almost peed a little in his underwear and was able to stop and hold while announcing that he needed to pee this morning. There is bladder control this time. And he's announcing it now. We do not have to catch him with a full bladder this time.

His pooping is still random he does inform is but not always. There are days when he would inform only after he's done and he would excitedly announced "yeah Ethan poop and Ethan tell mummy."

I feel terrible for him when he's excited about doing something right without realizing he got it wrong. My heart aches (because I picture people waiting to shame him for that mistake as he grows older. 我心痛.)

Anyway, we'll just work on that. He almost there already. Not a fast potty master but I'm still proud of him and excited!

I told him he's a big boy peeing like daddy now and he takes my word for it.

I was reminding AN to be more understanding towards what he isn't able to do very well yet because he's still little. ER heard and corrected me: "Ethan is not a little boy. Ethan a big boy already."

Aww..... he really has a way with melting my heart.

He even asked to see daddy's "birdie" during toilet time just now. Daddy said no.

Lol!

Small Talk

At 10.45pm
ER: "Mummy I'm a wolf"

"Time to sleep, Wolf."

But the wolves are not sleepy, so I told them a short story.

"Late in the night when wolves hear little children playing when it's sleeping time, they will (raising my voice and sounding terrified) jump through the windows and take those children away!"

2 seconds of silence later....

ER whispering fearfully: "Mummy I want to go outside."

I said nope.

He didn't insist. Instead, he hid himself under our blanket and fell asleep.

Hehe.

--------------------------

ER had been 'fighting' at home lately. He's punching the air and pointing the gun at us, going "bang bang". I hv little issues with that as long as he does not lay a finger on anyone. Pretending is ok.

Daddy wonders if he had been playing 'fight' with his classmates and hopes he doesn't beat anyone. We've not received complaints so far and we hope not to.

He had been scratched on the face by a classmate (a girl) though. And he constantly tells us "Naja beat me." He's in the playgroup class although he's old enough to be in N1 (he's new so there's some sort of induction going on). Naja is barely past 2 years old by the way. Just some little squabbles between toddlers.

AN assured daddy that no one beat him, that all his classmates are so little and they are all girls, to which he replied: "have! Naja beat me! SHE'S A BOY!"

LOLOLOLOLOL!

Mummy, Cannot Go To Office

I'm trying on the set of t shirt and shorts I asked Mr Liow to get for me with his credits at Emart.

The moment my baby boy saw me in the attire, he pouted and asked pitifully: "Mummy are you going to office?" (That's what daddy wears on days when he comes home after work so ER thinks I'm going to work too).

I asked if I may go and he said no. He said: "it's late and dark now. Police see mummy, police bang and ambulance come bring mummy to hospital. Mummy die.  Mummy, cannot go to office please..."

What an excuse to deter me from going to office. So cute that I might really not go to work when he warns me like that.

Random things they say

ER: "Mummy I smell sai sai (poop)."

Me: "Is it you? Did you poop or fart?"

ER: "Not me. I didn't!"

I didn't smell anything.

Me: "Or is it mummy's mouth? You smell?"

ER sniffed and smiled: "Oops. Sorry. It's your mouth."

-_______-"

_____________________________________________________________

Their school started charging GST for school fees since last year and there had already been an increase in fees for the additional enrichment classes in school at the same time last year. When I saw on AN's payment slip that GST is also being collected on the enrichment class she is going for, I wondered out loud why.

Me: "Huh...GST for speech and drama too?"

AN: "Mummy I think I don't want to go for speech and drama already."

Me: "Why? You enjoy it so much! And you like Ms Sun too right?"

AN: "Because it's getting expensive. And you have to pay the what-what-T?"

Me: "GST?"

AN: "Ya."

She had been asking to do the snack craft thing every weekend and it's not cheap (not to mention, not very healthy). And she likes having sushi after music classes. And she enjoys doing craft-y stuff that I cannot stop buying for her because I enjoy doing craft work too (and watching her skillful fingers at work).

These additional expenses are what we can do without. We have more and more financial commitments now and so I told her that we cannot splurge on things that we do not need.

I told her that we may be able afford a little more once I start working again but for now, we just have to watch what we spend on.

I'm surprised that she remembers what I said about not spending on unnecessary stuff and thinks that the additional GST is a burden.

I assured her that the GST is just a tiny bit more and moreover I'll check with the teachers because it may have been a mistake (which turned out to be an overlook by the school afterall).

My girl is growing up but still as sweet.

Neru Neru Snack

Another snack she made. 

This was duper sweet. Tooooooo sweet! So sweet that she didn't take more than 3 scoops. 

I asked if she was turned off  by its sweetness because I was *shudders* but she said no. 

My girl has the gift of giving politically correct and mummy-pleasing replies. She said: "It's sweet and I like sweet things but I know it will make me sick if i eat too much so I make myself stop."

Erm.... Ok. 

Making Kracie Donut

AN spotted this on sale at Plaza Singapura this afternoon before her music lessons and got excited.

She just completed the last of 4 such "cooking craft" last Thursday with Kris and had been hungry to make more.

Once back home, she started working on it immediately so that she could bring them for the kids to try during cell meeting.

There were only enough to make 5 tiny donuts and I suggested we keep them in the fridge for ourselves because it wouldn't be enough for all the kids and some may be disappointed to not get any.

She insisted on bringing and  said she will promise those without a donut that she will make some again.

I said she won't get to taste what she made by herself and was pleasantly surprised when she replied: "It's Ok. I don't have to eat them. I made them specially for my friends. I don't have also never mind."

That nice of her.

See how cute they turned out? I helped with some. These stuff are seriously fun to work on!

Who needs Russell Peter when you have funny kids?

My funny girl prayed this before falling asleep tonight:

"Dear God, please listen to this..."

She pressed the belly of her praying doll which started praying:

"As I lay me down to sleep, I pray dear Lord my soul to keep. May angels watch me through the night, and keep me in thy blessed sight. Amen."

She then continued: "Thank you God for listening to US. Good night and amen."
____________________________________
AN: "Good night mama!"
Me: "Good night Adrielle!"

ER: "Good night jie jie!"
AN: "Good night didi!"

ER, the didi was offended: "NO! Good night Thanthan! Not good night pee pee....". Then he turned to me asking: "Mummy, right?"

wahahaa!

Yes, pee pee. You are right.
____________________________________
It started raining while we were in the car this afternoon and AN started describing the intensity of the rain.

"God didn't water the trees for a few days so He's doing it now."

"God is washing His hands."

The rain then went from light drizzle to a sudden heavy downpour in split second.

"Aiyo.....God is playing with water."
____________________________________
Few days back...

"When daddy's hair gets too long, he's going to look like a hippie."

AN digested the information, turned to daddy and relayed it to him: "Daddy, if your hair gets too long, you are going to look like a pee pee."
____________________________________
How to embarrass your daddy -

Daddy took the little girl to the pool this evening and intended to relax without getting wet while she enjoyed herself but upon seeing that she was all alone, he decided to keep her company.

He proceeded to remove his bermudas. And while he walked towards her, he heard her tell herself: "Panda's coming."

And a neighbour near them heard her.

Lololol!

Mummy knows Everyone

Incident 1
AN: "Mummy, you know this guy, Einstein?"
Me: "Yup. Why?"
AN: "He's a singer. And he's very smart."
Me: "Errrr.....then I don't know this Einstein. The one I know of, Albert Einstein, is an inventor. He discovered light."
AN started thinking and corrected herself: "Oh yes mum! You are right! You are so smart! Did we have the same teacher?"

Incident 2
AN: "Mum, do you know Florence?"
Me: "Nightingale? Florence Nightingale, the nurse?"
AN: "Yes! Wow, mum! How come you know everybody?"

We Talked

I asked if his mum will keep to her word about finding a place to stay after CNY. He said he'll ask her.

Frankly, I didn't start off wanting to ask her to leave. In fact, I still do not. Only at times, I'm reminded of how selfish she is and how I really do not have to return kindness for selfishness.

I released my pent up unhappiness, like loose stool. We had a long talk.

And I feel better now, even though she still doesn't appear to be leaving until something happens that make her. She's even going to get a fan for herself (she doesn't like aircon...)

Like I told her, she can stay for as long as she wants, even if it's till the end of her tenancy agreement end of this year. She was the one who said she would find a place soon. And then she decided to stay. All decided within her and she didn't even bother to discuss with us.

All I ask for is respect. She is his mum and I'm not relieving ourselves of our duty towards her. But that doesn't give her rights to behave like a queen....

I don't know what she wants next. But having Mr Liow listen in and empathize with me in my position helped a whole lot.

He said he doesn't complain much about his mum (until he can take it no more), because he doesn't want to fuel my existing anger towards her behavior. Not because he agrees with her.

I told him that hearing him complain about her helps assure me that at least my hubby is normal. That he's not irrationally tolerating her nonsense like I perceive him to be when he doesn't seem bothered about how his mum behaves at times..

My tank is refueled. This should last me for a while. Thanks dear for listening and understanding.

I know I'm too fat when AN tells me so

AN: "Mummy, your tummy is so big and your butt is so fat."

And she proceeds to demonstrate my posture by sticking her butt out to emphasize the "fat butt".

Then she rubs it in further by suggesting: "Mummy, you should give birth, then your tummy will not look this big."

Duh.........why did I give birth to a daughter?

Good Idea

Terrible Two IS painful to go through...

But thank God for AN.

Was clearing the house by giving, selling and throwing stuff. Met a buyer this afternoon and AN was great help holding and passing me what I needed.

I gave the buyer our only paper bag to hold the 2 items she bought, and hugged the remaining 5-6 loose items back to the car. She helped carry some.

Then she laughed: "Mummy, next time you bring an extra plastic bag so that when you give one away, we still have one more to carry all these things."

Yes madam, I will do that the next time.

Hehe.

Honesty in Training

ER is into imitating his sister recently.

AN: "Ouch! Ethan! I'm going to tell mummy!"

ER: "Ah tell nai nai."

AN stomped into the kitchen and complained.

"Mummy! Ethan beat me!"

From where we were, I heard the boy head the opposite direction to my MIL, also to complain.

"Nai nai! Ah beat jie jie!"

That's honest.

Fun with Kids

Snippets of my days that I posted on my FB:


AN: "Mummy, When I grow up and have my own house, you come and stay with me ok?" Me: "Awww...so sweet of you. How about daddy?" AN: "Don't worry mummy! I will give you a box that's big enough for you AND daddy."

A box.

---------------------------------------------

Bedroom door opened with a creak. The toddler is awake!

Mummy's waiting for him to walk to her and as he was doing so, he called out: "Jie jie!"

-____-"

He asked for his sister the first thing in the morning, not mummy.

---------------------------------------------

Day 7 Without Daddy:

AN saw my flabby belly.

"Mummy, TOO fat." "huh! Really!?" "Yes. You have 2 layers. You are TWO fat." Pointing to her zero-fat waistline, she boasted: "I am NO fat."

---------------------------------------------

AN noticed that out of the family of 3 human-shaped magnets on the fridge, 1 was missing. She was horrorified.

"Where's daddy??!" "Daddy's in USA." AN continued searching around the fridge. "No.....NOT THAT KIND OF DADDY."

5 More Days: Uniform

AN and Daddy leaves the house in their respective uniforms every weekday morning to school and work.

This week, my brother volunteered to fetch her to school. And AN found it wierd that he wore a different outfit every morning.

(In case you wonder, Andy is in the SCDF, also a uniformed organization. AN saw him in his uniform often, till his recent posting to the HQ which requires him to dress civilian for as long as he remains there.)

"Ah gu, why do you change a different shirt every day?"

That must have been a really strange question to him. Lol!



"Because no one wears the same clothes to work everyday."

But to AN, that's not right.

"But I wear the same clothes to school every morning, and daddy wears the same clothes to work too. You too, last time."

Their voices fade as the door to the lift shuts. I think my brother gets what she's asking. Hehe.

Funny Adrielle

Part 1

Was teaching AN chinese: "球 (ball) sounds like 求 (plead/beg) even without the 边 (side).

Like 我求求你 is chinese for I'm begging you although it also sounds like....."

She continued my sentence "......I ball ball you."

Part 2

Mr Liow was trying to get his credit card back from ER. Sweet AN hurriedly took her own wallet out of her drawer and dug into it informing ER: "Here Ethan, jie jie give you something."

I told her it has to be something that she's prepared he'll spoil (he just 'unskinned' a credit card!).

Without second thought, she replied: "yes, mum. I'm prepared to let him spoil this."

We looked: It's a passport photo of infant ER she kept in her wallet for the past 2 years.

No wonder. Lol!

Growing Up

1 Year Old:

AN cried (something hurt her).

I kissed the pain, AN giggled.

2 Years Old:

AN: "Pain"

I kissed the pain and AN was pacified.

3 Years Old:

AN: "Mummy, Painful. Kiss here?"

I kissed the pain and AN smiled.

4 Years Old:

AN: "Mummy, I stepped on something. Painful."

I kissed the pain and she looked at me trying to figure out why I kissed her.

5 Years Old:

AN: "Ouch! Mummy, that hurts!"

I kissed the pain and it doesn't work anymore.

"Mummy, you don't have to kiss me. The pain is still there. I need plaster, or (antiseptic) cream..."

And she will continue growing :(

Life and Death

ER just threw up in the midst of my discussion with AN for no obvious reasons. Guess it's indigestion. I hope it's indigestion! Please please please.

So, we went for my uncle's funeral in the late evening. AN went with us.

There was a service (Christian funeral) before we got to see him in the half opened coffin (with a glass layer separating him and us). I carried AN and she saw my uncle (her grand uncle) lying in there.

This was her 1st time seeing a person lying in a coffin, lifeless. It's probably uncomfortable for some of you reading at this point. I know, today is THE LUNAR 7TH MONTH. But my Lord is greater than my fears.

AN wasn't afraid but she was observing the whole walk through. My aunt cried as I hugged her (while carrying AN in my other arm) and AN stroked my aunt's shoulder to comfort her.

My little girl must have started wondering there and then, why my aunt was so sad.

And she started questioning (at the funeral):

AN: "Why is he lying inside?"

Me: "He's resting."

AN: "He will wake up tomorrow?"

Me: "No. He will wake up when he reaches heaven. Not tomorrow, not here anymore."

AN: "Heaven is not in Singapore?"

Me: "Heaven is where Jesus is."

AN starting to sound different. She's thinking fast now.

"Why is he not coming back?"

Me: "Because he was very very sick. He has cancer and it made him so painful everywhere."

AN: "You can put a plaster on him. Does that work?"

Me: "No. The pain is so bad plasters don't work. Jesus saw the pain and had to take him away so that he never has to feel that type of pain again. So, he is with Jesus now, and no more pain."

AN continued asking during bedtime.

"Mummy, when someone dies, they don't come back anymore?"

Me: "No"

She started sobbing, to my surprise.

She said she missed her yeye (Mr Liow's dad who passed away before I was even pregnant with her), and started crying very very sadly. I guess she's understanding death better as we talked. I'm no expert, obviously. But I know separation is not final. Not in all deaths.

I'm not sure where my FIL (her yeye) is now. But the Lord will not give up on him. I'll know when my turn comes.

For now, I need to comfort my emotional little girl.

It's easier to explain separation as it is when I have to leave them at home and go out. It's temporary (like the bible says, although the period mentioned is very different) but ER cries when I go. He misses me.

It's happy reunion when I come back home. Like when we see them in heaven again, it will be very happy.

I told her that responsibilities get passed on from people to people. As an illustration, Popo will leave when it's time (I've prayed that her and my dad's destination is to be where Jesus is) and I'll be popo to her (AN's) kids. Someday, I'll go and it'll be her turn to be a popo. We will miss each other and when we meet again, she can tell me: "Mummy, I missed you!"

I almost cried as I explained it.

And then ER threw up.

Thank God for the time out. It's too much for a little girl in a day.

I hated separation since my first experience with it at another auntie's funeral. I was 7 years old. And I kept crying.

That was the end. No more. No heaven, no reunion. That WAS eternal separation. Till I knew Jesus, the hopes I will have in Him, the reunion I can look forward to. Not everyone believes the same but the Lord gave me a future after the end.

I'm thankful AN is thinking. This is going to help in our sharing of the gospel with her.