Changes

MIL is shifting out today.

Am I excited? Not really.

I'm definitely missing her absence but not her (maybe not yet. Maybe distance will do the relationship some good).

The past weeks since I promised to try to speak to her, I did. But her expression and tone of voice each time, made me feel like she's doing me a favor by replying. The last straw came on the day of the graduation concert last Saturday. I've not had time to update but it was upsetting.

Seriously this year had been damaging. There are sensitive questions that cannot be asked without expecting some sort of sarcasm (such as "I'm not staying in your house by then. What do you want?" as a reply to an invitation to kids' concert.)

She's most welcome to stay over every weekend as before and I extended that offer to her through Mr Liow. I don't know what she thinks of that or if Mr Liow asked.

No one is shutting her out and she's more than welcome to stay. Just that I need a distance. A safe distance to maintain my boundary. To avoid an invasion.

What's going to happen after this? We'll see.

I'm going to start packing up and re-organizing some stuff.

AN said she's interested to try sleeping in that room by herself. It's encouraging but gave her an option of returning to sleep with ER if she's still uncomfy to do so alone.

Also to update, I've moved back to sleeping in the master bedroom. Tonight marks my first week.

First few nights weren't that smooth. Either of them would come look for me in the middle of the night and I would go back to sleep in their room.

And one morning, I found myself waking in their room without anyone acknowledging that they made me go back (Mr Liow wasn't aware anyone came in to get me. AN said she didn't wake up. ER denied crying in the middle of the night. I must have sleep-walked then.)

It's almost like a new beginning for me today.

I continue to pray against oppression and negativity. I pray that the Lord will continue to guide me out of ungodly parenting and anger.

Breathe.

My first

Not as high an amount as we all expect. It's a co-broke, that's why. But that's a good start. This will probably all go into start-up (buy laptop, advertise etc).

That's providing there's no hiccups in between (hiccups such as hdb not approving the purchase, Co-broke agency refusing to acknowledge the transaction coz of mistakes in the forms etc).

Microwave Brownie

AN tried making her own chocolate Brownie (tastes like steamed cake). She made it like 3 times after she got it the first time.

She doesn't eat much of it but thankfully she has a little brother who adores the cakes she made.

This is their breakfast. Made by baker AN.
It does taste good!

Another Step Completed

Photo taken.

I'll been going to the agency either tomorrow or Friday. Before that, I need to get a new number for work.

One step closer to independence.

Final touch up and ta-dah!

Rainforest project, almost completed

AN's First

AN reached another 'First'! Two of them in fact.

She was hungry and when she heard Mr Liow (who had no dinner and came home near 10pm last night) was going to make some (spicy) noodles for his 'dinner', she couldn't sleep.

I allowed her to go have some but didn't realize she had quite a lot of water too, because the noodles was spicy.

And she woke me up at 1.15am. She wet herself.

I wake her at 1.30am every night and occasionally at 4.30am too if she had milk or water before sleep (sometimes I let her sleep through because she seems to be holding her bladder well enough now!). The routine worked for us and for 3 weeks (before this), she stayed totally dry.

I was actually pleased that she woke up last night to tell me she wet herself. When we first started, she could continue sleeping without realizing the plastic mat was wet.

At 3.30am, she woke me up again. This time, she told me she needed to 'pass urine' (she's been using that instead of 'pee' since months back. Teachers probably taught her to label her this need in a more 'adult' way. I miss her telling me she needed to 'pee'...... But anyways....).

I brought her to the restroom. Lots of pee.

This post marks 2 new achievements:

1) Her improving intolerance towards a wet bed

2) The even more important ability to wake up on her own accord to 'pass urine'.

That's so cool. My daughter is so cool. Hehe!

ER drinks milk and learns to understand

I had been whining 2 days ago that ER doesn't want any other forms of milk except for BM, and only if it's fresh from the 'tap'.

Because of that, I still am not able to accept weekday jobs, unless Mr Liow is home.

With the approaching Hongkong trip, I'm starting to worry about nursing him too. He's not going to be eating enough. He takes an hour to eat on normal days and I don't know if we'll be spending hours on meals, much as I won't mind to. AN had hardly any food when we travelled. I'm benchmarking him against her (isn't he now starting to eat like her then?).

For the past week, I'm trying to get him used to milk: Soy (both freshly prepared ones and packet), formula and fresh.

He doesn't like soy and fresh milk (which he would drink off my cup a month ago). But this morning, he had AN's formula with milo (he also doesn't like his own...). I had to spoonfeed him but I really didn't mind. If it makes him drink, I won't even mind performing acrobatics for him.

On a positive note, AN took an hour to drink 60mls of milk when she started. ER took half hour to finish 80mls. And this is his first day having his own serving of milk (drinking mine didn't count because those were just sips).

Tried giving him the cup to drink from when I noticed his interest but staring into the cup made him lose that interest. Am going to try later once he's addicted. That's what we did with AN. Hope it works with him.

Ending this with a new achievement: his ability to understand and carry out instructions. He had been doing what we asked lately but not all the time. We noticed him improving over the days and that excites us even though this is our second experience :)

K ONE!

AN had just left for school. She is in K1 now. There's going to be more school work from now on.

Also, I'm trying to stop AN from relying on her training pants at night now. I'm probably one of the few Singaporean mum to train her baby to stay off diaper at this ripe old age of 4 years (or 5 as of 2012).

I couldn't sleep the whole night, having to take her to the restroom every hour from midnight to 4am and worrying she would pee on the bed in between the hours.

She did fine for 1st few nights. No accidents and no actual need to wake up hourly to pee.

Now it's a routine of abt 1.5 hrs to 2 hrs in between toilet sessions till about 5am. She should have emptied her bladder by then.

There was an accident last night though, so I have more stuff to wash but it's ok. I only have to wash. It's tougher on her because she couldn't have proper rest these few nights coz of the frequent trips to the toilet.

She drinks milo with milk before sleep now. That's 240mls of fluid in her system, sometimes more. She's addicted to milo and if she tries to skip that, she will not be able to sleep and either Mr Liow or I will have to get up to make her some, by midnight.

If she can skip that, I'm sure there'll be no problem for her to stay dry...

But that means less calorie intake for her...

Dilemma.

Guess I'll just carry her to the toilet so she doesn't need to wake up till she's seated. poor girl was a zombie this morning..

Standing without support

I took the little boy walking for a bit and let go where there was nothing for him to lean against. HE STOOD, by himself. We praised him excitedly and he did it.over and again, smiling proudly.

When AN was 14 months, we did this with her and she started walking from that day on. Guess ER just isn't ready yet.

Last night, he stood up by himself from squatting position and stood without support too.

One more step to walking on his own.

Happy Feet 2

Since Mr Liow was on leave today (Monday), he decided we bring the kids for a show. AN had movies in the theatre before (Toy Story 3 last year before ER came) and the Mickey Music Festival, with ER. Both kids enjoyed the second (not a show but a concert), so we thought we could try it again today.

AN enjoyed every bit of the movie today but not the little boy. He was captivated for the first hour but was cranky later on because he was tired. I had to bring him out for a (long) breather, go in and see if he would allow me to continue watching, which happens to be a clear 'no'. So we loitered around the outside of theatre 4 :(

Shortly after we came out the second time, a caucasian lady came out too with her son. She sighed: "It's not working." Her boy too, refused to sit throughout the show. She thought he would enjoy this one because he enjoyed the last one.

Mine has only managed a record of an hour or so. It's good enough for me. I'd rather not have him glued to the any shows for any longer than that. hehe

This marks ER's first movie in a theatre. hehe

AN's first bicycle

AN gets her first bicycle from popo, my mum. Such a sweeeeeeet color! mum said AN had her eyes on this bike the moment they got to the shop. I'd have choose this too. Hehe.

Attempting His First Step

He tried it once in the morning yesterday but I was too far from my phone to capture anything. I reached for my phone anyway, just in case. True enough, he tried again. Hehe.

Good attempts! He didn't really walk but he took a step away both times before realising he wasn't holding anything.

A step nearer to independence!

Adrielle

I don't know how I should title this post about my little girl. This is about her.

She got me upset again, because she wouldn't take no for an answer. She asked for bubble bath but I wouldn't allow her one because she didn't want to get up after that last week. I had told her after that, that she wasn't going to get bubbles this week as a punishment. But she forgot (can't blame her. She's not time-savvy yet). And this time, gently reminding her that she is facing consequences for disobedience didn't work. My patience wore thin and I got SERIOUSLY upset with her.

Everyday now, there will be something that she haso to be punished for, either a bad behaviour, or bad habit. Mr Liow says I blow up too fast on most occasions. I guess so. I'm dealing with a 4 year old who has her own little world where she resides in sometimes. she's still little and I'm thankful for Mr Liow's reminder that I don't have to punish her for every little negative display of emotions. I need to work on myself regarding this.

Sometimes I wonder why she's more matured at 3 years old and growing increasingly childish at 4 years old now. Is it just AN, or do some children do more childish stuff as they grow older?

Mr Liow took her out for me to cool off and so that I could feed ER. Things were back to normal after they came back.

A while ago, slightly before nap, Mr Liow was helping me watch over the kids while I was in the toilet.

Shortly after, I heard AN screaming in tears and coming out of their room to look for me. First thought was: "Must have been punished by Mr Liow for being naughty again."

I opened my door to see what happened and when she saw me, she started crying and complaining. She wasn't crying in defiance or because of a punishment. She was crying because she felt painful for ER who got smacked by Mr Liow. She was heartbroken and I could hear that in the way she cried (like when I accidentally threw away a brochure she wanted for craftwork).

She recounted the event tearfully: "Ethan wanted the big pillow and daddy snatch from him, then daddy smacked him!" When she finished her sentence, she started crying so painfully I wanted to laugh. I looked at Mr Liow and he said he didn't touch her. He had no idea why she was in tears.

All these while, she had always been constantly protective of ER, reminding whoever had reprimanded ER that he's still a baby and doesn't know what's going on. She wouldn't allow anyone to scold him, let alone smack him.

I think that smack on ER hurt her more than it hurt him.

This tender hearted jie jie melted me. How could I be so upset with a little girl like that, so often? But then again, a little girl like that can be up to mischief too.

She pleaded with me to tell daddy not to smack ER and continued sobbing in distress till I told her I'd speak to him.

The moment she went into the room again, she started hugging the little boy protectively.

Whatever nasty struggle we had this morning disappeared. Thank God for opening my eyes to the sweet jie jie who's so protective of the younger one. Sometimes she's not too willing to share with him, toys that she's currently playing, but she will either find an alternative to pass to him, or let him have them after she's done.

I should be thankful. And this incident  is something about AN's love for ER that I've noticed for the first time.

Soon-To-Be Independant

I'm staying home with ER today to clear up some duties at home and also, probably keep the 2 of them apart for a day so they do not infect each other (one with runny nose, one with cough). They can't be apart for long enough. Just this morning when the little boy woke up, first thing he did was crawl enthusiastically towards his sister's empty bed. He looked lost when he noticed she wasn't sleeping on her bed. It was easy to pry him away from that area when she's not around. When she is, he's stuck. It's becoming a challenge to get him to sleep at nights now because he just can NOT stop struggling towards AN's bed to PLAY WITH JIE JIE!

As I was saying, I was outside making lunch for the little boy a while ago after he fell asleep again. Took a while to chop and prepare so after the food was set on the stove to cook, I came back in to peep on him....and found him MISSING! He wasn't on the mattress!

I looked around the dark room and noticed a pair of eyes staring at me. He smiled at me while standing against the toy organizer, happily pulling out toys and playing with them!

As I'm noting this down now, he's busy waking himself around the toys area holding onto the sides.

He's quite a hazard now! He's helping himself to AN's books! I can imagine torn pages once he masters pulling them out from the holder...and he's going to get into trouble when he tries walking with the help of anything that stands but without the ability to hold him. He just fell when he held onto the carton holding extra foam mats. He had wanted to get to the other side. -__________-"

This is quite an eye opener and is the first time I find him away from his sleeping place. Reminds me of AN who crawled out of her room to look for me when she was about this age.

Another noteworthy event. It appears the next time I post, I'll be posting about things falling onto him.

Need to reorganize the room soon!

My First Henna Tattoo

Done by AN's project teacher. AN wanted to have it done but not by this teacher (thought she was trying to be difficult but later realized she wanted hers to be done by another teacher because she likes the other teacher. She didn't get it in the end because we didn't have enough coupons)

It's orange in color because I only left it on my arm for half hour. The longer I leave it, the darker it'll be. Was told I should at least leave it on till the paint dries up and flakes off, which I didn't, because I am mummy koala.

Quite nice! I like it. Probably if given a chance I'll do it again, and get AN one too. Up to this point, I still feel bad when I have to disappoint my girl.

posted from Bloggeroid

AN and Her New Bed

Looks so comfy.



Our new sleeping position.

posted from Bloggeroid

A Day Filled with "Good"

It'd been some time since I last felt 'rewarded'. This is one day to remember!

ER had porridge for lunch today and he loved it! He seemed to eat porridge better than most purees and cereals but his porridge intake was most impressive today. He had half a bowl of porridge with apple and avocado, finished that amount faster than I could scoop and cool the next spoonful.

For dinner, he had sweet potato and cereals. Like his lunch, he opened his mouth for his food and finished the estimated 4oz of food.

And since yesterday, he had been sitting himself up effortlessly. The first time he did that was few weeks back and he had not sat himself up since. He was so agile yesterday it almost seemed like he had been doing this for a while now.

And, he crawled! At SY's home last Sun, he looked like he was almost crawling alry. He is doing leopard crawls very well and gets around effectively. He's improving at moving on 4s, but just doesn't do that much. This afternoon though, he crawled on the floor under MIL'S supervision, on 4s. And he had been doing that even on the bed for most of today.

I'm a very satisfied mummy today.

It's not just ER. AN is also achieving another first today. She did sleep on her own for a few days sometime after ER was born and I sneaked back into our room after she fell asleep. That didn't work for long enough with her sobbing in fear upOn waking up in a dark room middle of the night to find me missing.

Tonight, she's sleeping on the converted toddler bed from the baby cot. She liked sleeping in the baby cot at Festive Hotel and had been asking to sleep on her toddler bed. Mr Liow finally converted it today and as I'm typing now, she's falling asleep soon.

I'll still have to sleep with them at night till they are old enough to sleep on their own. Till then, Mr Liow will have the big comfy bed o himself. And I'm looking forward to the day my post says: "The kids are finally sleeping on their own!"

But then again, I'm already missing having AN lying beside me now. There's a first to everything. This is formally Day One of not having AN sleeping by my side.

She's grown so much in this one year since we returned. She's weaned off breast (althogh she still asks to nurse an I'll give when she's sick so she gets the antibodies), she's sleeping with my back turned to her on most nights, and she's even sleeping on her own bed tonight. That's no including her acknowledging that I have to do housework and skip going over to popo (my mum's) place on some days.

I wish she remains that little baby girl forever but appreciates her independent sometimes...

Treasure ER now. He's probably the last baby I'll enjoy till AN needs help with her kids, IF she does in future. Hee.

Updated @ 11:05pm
Forgot to note down ER's attempt at sipping from his straw cup today. He finally did it! He sipped from AN's bottle few wks ago and coughed the water out. Guess he didn't expect water would come out if he sucked in that plasticky thing. Gave him his magmag cup today and he mainly played with it. After dinner just now, he got to try again, and he sipped, swallowed and happily drank quite a lot.

Oooooohhhh..I'm contented with all these achievements and these should last me for a while. It's AN's first music lesson tomorrow. Am sure she'll enjoy. She's been asking about it non stop since we signed her up in May.