Sunday, July 31, 2011

Coughing Again

I don't know how that's possible but AN is coughing again with a little mucus in her nose. She had only recovered last week, hadn't she?

She's just as curious as I am as to where she got this from again when she asked: "I didn't catch this from Darius (who had been sick but we didn't meet them), the jie jies (hannah and mercia) are not sick, no one else is sick. Where did I get the virus from?"

Is this just a passing virus? It's not going to start another riot, is it?

Female Matters

AN was passing harder stools than usual one day. Was not constipation but it was hard enough to cause her anus to bleed a little on paper as I wiped her.

So I told her: "Baby, you are bleeding a little."

She looked concerned and asked: "Am I having my menses?"

-_______-"

Where did that come from?

Friday, July 29, 2011

Cant Bear

It's weekend and my dad packed my old keyboard so that we could bring it back home for AN to practise on. That was mine when I first started, meaning to say the keyboard is 25 years old! Lots of memories. Hehe.

Was feeling kind of sad when dad was packing it into its box. Dad loved to hear me play on my electone when I was young but I chose to give it up to concentrate on school.

Dad had been enjoying watching AN play on the keyboard lately (no music, just practicing "do, re and me" as homework) before I suggested bringing the keyboard back home for her to practice on.

I couldn't continue play for him and I couldn't let AN play for him long enough. :(

Mum reacted positively when I told her about the plan. She said she'd start looking for a job after we start the change. I thought about it and decided to start when AN starts K1 next year. Mum was giving AN routine hugs a while ago and casually commented that she will not be cooking for her when she starts N1. I am starting to miss coming over and watching AN bond with them.

My mum is a very proactive grandma. Probably not the best in the whole of Singapore but at least the better of the 2 that AN has. How so? Let's see:

1. My mum cooks and also finds time to bring AN out, to meet
my aunts, to the library, or simply window shopping or on LRT rides. She pushes ER for strolls with AN so I could bath.

2. Mum saves egg shells for AN everytime she makes egg dishes. And she showed AN how to use markers to draw on those shells. AN has since, made many egg faces! Simply adorable artwork!

3. Mum grows sprouts for AN after hers from school died.

4. Mum, on one of her trip with AN to library, borrowed a book from the library that teaches readers how to draw and drew with AN.

5. Mum made origami with AN with her limited knowledge of making any.

6. Mum sings with AN and listens to AN read.

7. Mum builds domino blocks for AN.

8. Mum playacts with AN! She feeds AN's imagination with imaginary scenarios.

9. I'm sure there are more I missed.

On the other hand, my MIL comes during weekends at her own convenience. When the whole lot of us were sick and Mr Liow told her so, she didn't even come earlier to help us. In fact, she came right when it was time to tuck the kids in on Friday night, spent the whole of that Saturday out and was hesitant when Mr Liow asked if she could stay home that Sunday, to help with ER while I brought AN for music class and Mr Liow was down with high fever. Very hesitant.

Mum made us herbal teas to cool us off when we were sick, MIL bought lots of durians and like she wasnt aware we were sick, said: "finish them, don't waste". Durians are yummy but no one takes them when sick...what was she thinking?

Mil never brings AN anywhere, not even to playground downstairs, she hogs the TV and AN has to wait a long long time for her turn, never does anything with AN. The only thing she does is read her newspapers and hogs the table with them after she's done, leaving lesser space for AN to doodle on.

When my mum comes over, she helps me with any housework she sees (laundry: the machine wash cycles, the hanging up and outside to dry till clothes are dried. She takes them down and folds them. Kitchen: cooking, wash and wipe whole kitchen spotlessly clean).

Mil only good at leaving sugar on tabletop to keep ants constantly visiting us, and coffeestains on coffee table without wiping. She's been coming every week since Oct but has never wiped anything in my house or even so much as glanced at my laundry basket or washing machine.

Mr Liow jokingly asked her to help mop our floor one day and she laughed. I laughed too and couldn't help blurting out: "You wait long long." And you guessed it: she didn't. Never did, never will. Even my dad helps me mop the floor when I nap with the kids for the few times we stay home.

How can mothers (and grandmas) be so different?

This is one reason why I feel so bad about having to change where we will be after AN gets off school. I want her to enjoy grandma (my mum) because this grandma puts in efforts in grandparenting her. Once mum starts working, she will see so little of AN.

As much as I can't bear to, I think the new arrangement will be better for all (and so mum and dad doesn't hv to see each other daily and get on each others' nerves). Just hope that mum will have accommodating working hours that allow her to come over to visit the kids often enough. Dad will help bring AN back, so AN will not lose a grandpa. Hehe.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

ER at 10 Month Old

He's been doing more and more stuff lately. If I don't note them down, I'm going to risk forgetting his progress and preferences.

I've not been checking in with milestones so there are probably some stuff he's doing that other younger babies are already able to do.


Speech:
He's started his "mum-mum" chants. At this stage, I'd like to believe he's addressing me but no. It's just part of what he has to learn and is currently learning to say. It's cute when he looks longingly at food and chants "mum-mum". I go into self make-believe that he's actually VERY interested in food. Hehe.

Just last month, he was constantly chanting "jie jie" to which AN gladly responded, confident that he was calling out to her.


Eating:
He's not a keen eater, sometimes eating more and at other times less. He seems to enjoy potatoes. He had half a potato after his dinner this evening. I gave them (from our soup before mum added seasoning) to him in chew sized pieces. He's improving at chewing. So purees now are mainly "au natural" seasoning for his porridge/pasta etc if I do not have stock on hand. Vegetables get chopped up for him to chew on.


Preference:
He's ok with almost everyone. Most people can easily take him from me, when he's not sleepy or grouchy. When he is, he wants "nobody nobody but" ME.


Motor Skills:
He's discovering his hands (wrists, fists, arms) and is learning to use them to do more. He flaps them when he's happy or upset (extreme emotions mostly), "nods" his palm to imitate us when we wave goodbye, tries to do the "high five", "low five" and "baby five".

He's also learning to throw instead of drop now. He had flung a small bear quite a distance on a few occasions.

Been teaching him to sign, but he's still not signing yet. One thing I noticed him doing lately was, he's pound on my chest frantically in frustration. The way to appease him would be to nurse him. I wonder if that's how he's "signing" his intention the non-ASL way.

He's crawling, and cruising, and standing with support. He can stand for a few seconds on his own without support but nothing near steady to be worth much mention yet.


That's all for now. I wish I had been watching the soccer match with Mr Liow but too bad I'm still stuck to my little tiger..

posted from Bloggeroid

Making Plans

I appreciate my parents for taking care of us for the past 7 months and even before we shifted back home.

It's just tough having to many people trying to make decisions.

Having tasted being fully in charge of "Home Affairs" in Tucson and having little say now (or risk facing either grand parents' black face with regards to my decision over my own matters), I prefer the former. The former is physically more challenging but like Shirley reminded, that is why I stayed home in the first place. I'll still have things to complain about but that's the more productive of 2 scenarios.

Asked Mr Liow and he agreed (not strongly though). He probably doesn't see any problem with either arrangement.

So, since I've already spoken to mum and she finds my reasoning (about AN having more things to do at home) logical, I'll have to figure out how to get AN home next. The school bus service will only operate if 10 or more kids sign up for it. The last I checked, there wasn't enough for the uncle to take up the job. I'll check again.

Was thinking if Mr Liow could fetch her home during lunch but that'll be tiring for him. Moreover, he often had to skip lunch coz he has too much to see to...doesn't sound feasible. I'll bring her home then. Just got to plan my time properly so that she has lunch upon reaching home. She's usually sleepy by 2pm so if she doesn't eat, milk should be good enough? My mum will glare at me and say it's not...but AN has lunch in school. It's only her who assumes AN doesn't have enough, because AN eats a lot at home after school, which she shouldn't have appetite for if she is full from lunch at school.

Aiya...how? Let's just try to see if she can remain awake for lunch back home. Else, I'll get her bread to snack on while on our way home.

Next up, my lunch. I'm still contemplating tingkat (delivered meals). AN can either share my lunch or ER's. So she gets a variety.

Sounds like a plan eh?

I'll probably try this out for a week while AN remains at my parents' place, to see if it works and to be familiarized with the routine. Then after that, hopefully the school bus uncle starts servicing her school.

Ok, I'll start praying and meanwhile work out plan B if anything in plan A doesn't work.

Updated:
Pre-informed my dad about the raw plan and .... Ta-dah! He got upset as expected. He said they want to convenient me and I can't be more thankful for that. I too, understand having AN around makes them happy grandparents. The only person who can make my dad smile can only be AN. Of course i appreciate everything they had been doing, which is why its so hard to tell them i have intentions change the way things will be. He tells me in retaliation to do what I want to do and he doesnt want to interfere anymore...I'm not talking about interference. I'm talking about better making use of time.....how should i get it across without offending them???? Anyway, I've said what I had to. He cooled off a little and suggested he can bring AN back for me everyday so I don't need to rush back and forth. I said if he doesn't find it inconvenient, I'm find with that (else what's he going to think again, that I want to totally detach f and kids from them?? That will never be my intention! Really hope they wont ever assume that to be true..please....)

Next to handle will be my mum's reaction. I've spoken to her before, she had a bad reaction to it before she rationalized and found my reasoning made sense. I hope repeating this a second time won't give her bad vibes another time (oh you'll never know....it all depends on the mood...).

Mr Liow, if you are reading this, I think I am ready for posting round 2. Hehe. Then we can do away with all these explaining over and over again and hoping they don't get the wrong idea or worse, assumes all the wrong things.

P.s: HEY Planes and pilotS...I am so looking forward to the end of National Day and when you'll STOP BLASTING ALL OVER SENGKANG! You've woken my baby countless times!!!!

Duh... Argh!

Feeling gloomy now...not enjoying the foreseen friction that may arise because of more changes. I feel like I've let my parents down for all the things they had been doing for us.... :< are there any medicines to take to make one feel more positive? I need some..

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Too Many Cooks...

I'm ungrateful maybe, but I need to rant: I NEED TO TAKE CONTROL OF MY OWN SITUATION!

I have ready food for ER at home all the time: previously prepared stock frozen, purees and now vegetables that I can chop up for ER because he's chewing now.

Here at my parents', my mum insists only on fresh food. That's ideal of course.

But mum doesn't always have fresh food all the time...

She said she would get groceries at the market when I called. But she saw a multicooker on sale and bought it instead of groceries. Her suggestion to me: "Give baby cereals...he doesn't eat much anyway."

That sounds so irresponsible! He doesn't eat much so I don't have to bother about making nutritious food for him? Whatever happened to her high standard of homemade food for kids and her insistence on feeding baby on time to condition him for meals? Her stand on things waver with the winds! Cereals is fine with me of course, but I wonder how those words can come from my mum.....it's not her leh?

On second thoughts, I'm not surprised she said that....my parents are not educated and really, I have to learn to take their words with sprinkles of sugar..sigh..

I asked if she has anchovies in the fridge so I can make stock for his porridge. She said yes but wouldn't allow me to use them because it's been in the fridge for a long time. May have expired...fine. I then suggested I'd give him cereals for lunch. What other choice do I have? The only backup bottled baby food had been opened by mum a few days ago because she thought it was already opened...faint....

Don't you guys think home is still sweetest because you are in charge and chances of such confusion and power struggles, and miscommunication are almost non existing?

I then said I'll go out to get stuff to make stock for his dinner, and some vegetables too. She, like my dad, didn't think I should be bringing a baby out. Arghhhh! She used to bring both of us out!! And Andy and I are only 1.5 yrs apart. I'm onl going to take the LRT to Compasspoint and back with A BABY. We won't die!

She got upset at my suggestion and walked away after whispering: "Go get what you want. I don't know what you want to feed him."

Cool, please let me do it. I do, you also want to do. End up we have too much going on. I let you do, you get distracted and do nothing. Then we have nothing.

This doting grandma then went out.

And then she called. She said she was at NTUC and asked if I want sweetcorns to make stock with. I said ok. I think she felt bad ER has nothing to eat.

Sigh.....

I hope there will be a preschool at Greenwich which should open in about a year. As much as I want ER to be in the same school as AN, as much as I want them to be close to the parents, this arrangement is even more taxing than if I had to do everything on my own.

At least I can ensure the kids have food to eat with having to call my parents one by one to see what the arrangement is, because one is at home and one is out. At least I can make proper use of all the time we have after school, after nap, after meals and baths, to get them to do something productive (be it drawing, writing, reading, practicing on the instrument, or watching educational programs). Here they watch what my parents watch and grow into TV addicts.

How leh? Bonding with grandparents more important, or kids' overall wellbeing?

I can handle the extra work (at most complain here on my big when overwhelmed)....

Or maybe I pray very hard that we will get posted overseas again??

Yeah!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

EVERYTHING ALSO CANNOT

The repair man for the tap arranged to come to my place today to fix my kitchen tap. Unfortunately, my mum's cousin passed away so I asked her to go ahead and pay the family a visit.

Very simple alternative plan: I go pick AN and then go home.

Dad got very agitated and insisted I CANNOT DO THAT! Mum then suggested he buy me lunch and fetch AN home for me so I didn't have to bring ER out since he's so worried. That didn't go well with him either, because it was too troublesome for himself. He suggested I follow Mr Liow's car to their place in the morning and he'd get me lunch.

That was quite a rush but we could meet the time the repair man gave if there are no major hiccups.

At his place, when mum isn't around, he started instructing me when he didn't even know whats going on. He told me to make ER's porridge together with AN's but I can't because they eat at diffent timing. And at their place, I don't hv access to age appropriate food. ER is not eating most of what AN eats and ER's porridge is of a different consistency.

Then he suggested I do not cook for AN and he'd get food but I DON'T WANT AN TO EAT OUT ALL THE TIME! The sodium and msg..we eat out enough during weekends and now mum already doesn't cook much. I was going to make her porridge and had already planned when I'd start cooking. Simple less than an hour and porridge will be ready.

Then there's fish which I was going to steam and he said to skip the fish. "Just anyhow can already". The fish is already thawed and sliced...I only had to steam it for 12mins...then he kept hurrying me to pick AN up, and kept asking me why I'm not done with the fish when it had only been 10mins. If he had to keep rushing me, I really rather pick AN up and go home! WHY MUST HE INSIST THINGS GO HIS WAY WHEN HE IS NOT DOING ANYTHING BESIDE DICTATING ME? I need to follow my plans or things go haywire....!

Now the repairman is doing the fixing in the kitchen and I have the urge to poop. guess what my dad told me? He asked me to wait. Like as if I can. If I can, I will. WAH LAO..... Then he asked me to make it fast in case that man needed to talk to me. The man can wait, can't he? I don't take an hour to poop.

He wants to control everything and makes us do what he thinks is easiest, whether or not it benefits the kids. Everything we does, the kids are priority. But to him, convenience should be number ONE.

Thank God he does that subtly, to me. With my mum, he can be overbearing. No wonder my mum is so pissed off with him at times.


Gtg now...in case my dad has to talk to the uncle for some reasons and I know my dad will hate to have to do that.....sigh....

Styling Hair Without Heat



For little girls, the last things we want to use on their hair are hot irons and curling tongs. But little girls look seriously adorable with curls and waves, don't they?

Takes a little effort and time but if they will allow you to meddle with their hair, do a few "scorpions braids", leave them overnight and let the braids go the next day.

Don't comb them out, just run your fingers through to loosen tangles.

Adrielle loved her wavy hair, or rather, part of her hair that's wavy. I'd only done this on her bangs and this part of her hair. Hehe. Am going to do more of these!

posted from Bloggeroid

"Thanks Mum"

AN woke up all of a sudden at about 3am and whispered that she was scared. I was nursing ER and couldn't go to her, so I shone the projector on my Galaxy Beam on the ceiling to give her some light. After a short while, she whispered: "Mum, I'm sleeping already. Thanks for the lights, mum."

That melted me. I went to squeeze with her on the toddler bed after ER unlatched himself. She turned and hugged me dreamily.

Each time I get to hug her, I recall how she used to be. I am thankful I get to spend undivided time with her in Tucson and really, for her to come to this stage where she has to share me (almost to the extent of giving up her need for my attention), it really is quite a feat.

She's my firstborn (apart from the fact that Baileys was my first baby), and I love her dearly. I pray the Lord will protect her, that she will never ever have to face fear or danger alone.

posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, July 25, 2011

She Will Run

My dad reminded me to not punish Adrielle so much. For a minute, I thought he was going to be a typical grandpa who feels the pain when he sees the grandchild being punished. But he continued with these words that struck me: "When she grows up, she will run away."

These words weighed more than what our mums had been nagging me about punishment. To me, a child has to know what is right and wrong, and understand consequences that come with her decisions. To the mums, "she's still young." Yes, she is. Kids are as teachable as they are young. Do they suppose I'll get my message across to her when she's a teenager and if she had never known what's right, wrong and consequences?

But this time, I have to agree with my dad. I don't want my baby to run away when she's older.

I remember the 5 languages of love. I forgot to love AN enough. Punishment and reward goes hand in hand. She cannot be punished without being sure she's loved. I can declare my love for her on my blog but she will never know.

For the weekend that has just past, I tried spending more time with her. I tried to be the one who held her hands more, and I really tried to speak patiently to her. I wasn't successful 100% of the time when she acts up, but I will continue to try till I can overcome the anger. I hugged her more, joked more, and teased her more. But I didn't budge on rules. What we had always said she had to obey (for an instance, she is not allowed to choose who helps her when she needs help), she still isn't allowed to throw a fit and get her way.

I think her language of love is touch. I may be wrong, and she may outgrow it. I'll continue to observe and pray for wisdom, and self control. I pray that I'll be slow to react in anger, and that I'll be able to generously lavish her with love. Attention has to be shared. ER at this age needs lots of attention. I can't draw that from him to give more to AN, and that means Mr Liow has to bear with less of my time.

I'm thankful he's helping me fill up the kids' need for attention whenever I'm unable to. After the traumatic 2 weeks of high fever and flu, both Mr Liow and I are shagged out and I couldn't spend quality time with Mr Liow without falling asleep after the kids step into lalaland. In fact, I suddenly felt feverish after dinner last evening. And Mr Liow had tension headache (or migraine?) for the past 4 days.

The Aftermath.

So, they say, think positive thoughts, because thoughts turn into actions. I'm going to evict reminders of how disobedient AN can be and plant reminders of how better behaved she will be after my attitude towards her changes.

I don't want her to be bad, but aboveall, I don't want her to run away.

1 more Tooth

At 10months and 5 days old, ER sprouted his top left front tooth. Another pearlie! The other one SHOULD appear soon after. Front teeth usually grow in pairs.

Hi Pearlie, is your neighbour growing out soon?

posted from Bloggeroid

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Bonding


I have AN to rely on when I urgently need to pee. She helps me entertain the little one and tries her best to stop him from crawling near the edge of their mattresses. Although the mattresses are already on the floor and most of the floor in their room is protected with the foam mats, a knock is still a knock coz the mattresses are not that thin afterall.

The elder sis is quite a good shepherd. To think, Baileys used to be AN's good shepherd...

Here's another one of them


posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

AN Knows Better

ER had fallen asleep a while ago in the car but woke up when we reached home. He looked very tired but was hyperactive for unknown reasons. Now that it's bedtime, he has to sleep, but is crawling all over like he has 3 more hours' worth of energy.

So, I prayed: "Dear Lord, please make Ethan stop moving and go to sleep."

AN added: "Lord, NOW please."

And now, 5 mins later, both kids are peacefully sleeping.

I love my kids.

Missing the Jie Jie Again

It's only been a week that AN had been home sick. I had her to myself (didn't have to share with school orngrandma) for a whole week. Now that she's away in school again, I'm missing her presence like when she first started school.

I enjoy time with her but she has to share me with ER. It's very unfair because she almost always has to wait, more so this time because she got well sooner than ER and the little one is more needy. I feel I owe her a lot...since ER came, she almost ALWAYS has to wait. We keep asking her to wait. And she waits. she gets punished for other behaviors (sometimes rudeness, sometimes tantrums) but hardly for being impatient. She really tries to be good but she can never be perfect. I really have to understand that.

I was so upset with her one day last week I told her I dontknow her anymore. She was sad...she sobbed silently, then in a soft and very apologetic voice told me: "mummy, I will sleep when u ask me to sleep. I will sit down when u ask me to sit down...."

My heartached when I heard that...I DO want her to have a mind of her own. I hope I'm not training my baby to be a victim for bully, who does things to gain acceptance by others. But she has to obey me. I pray she will be very good at protecting herself when we're not around to watch over her.

Other thN times when she has things she really wants to do, thus is less cooperative to abide, she's otherwise mostly ready to listen.

I'm expecting too much of her...and many of her nastiness comes from observing nasty people who are nasty to others. It's not her I hate. It's those nasty people I hate, and their nasty idea that others have no rights because they are lower of human life. So AN learns to be rude.

I'm thinking too much. I'm not going to let AN learn to speak rudely by observing anymore. We can swim at public pools. Swimming in a private pool that's not maintained makes her sick too...not to mention the constant bickering, endless snubbing of the helper is creating a monster in AN who listens and learns. Don't blame the younger girl of the 2 for being rude to the helper. The grandma is soooooooo rude to the helper herself. How do you teach something when you are not good at it yourself? Oh, easy. just blame the younger girl and say: "I don't know why she's like that. I told her she has to be respectful."

Hypocrite.

sometimes I wish I can hide AN. I wish we can go away again.

I miss AN in school...and I really missed the sweet and kind AN in Tucson..

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

THE Virus

Last week on this day, AN and I started coughing badly all of a sudden. And fever came that very night.

Her fever peaked on Thursday, at 40°c but her cough got better. Dr Lim predicted her fever to swing up and down but each time it swings up, it shouldn't be as high as the last peak. By Sunday, she shouldn't be nursing high fever, else she would have to be taken in for a blood test, for H1N1.

She was as Dr LIM predicted.

She had still been on fever medications, not punctually but only when necessary. Her last dose was at 4.30pm last evening and her fever hasn't been back since. We're hoping to have her go through 24 without the need to medicate before she goes to school. We can't send her back to pass the virus around. This one is not an easy one on the kids.

As for ER, he felt worst on Friday night, having NO sleep at all and crying through the night instead. He saw Dr Allyson on Sat and with the meds, suffered less pain. His cough made him choke less by then.

For today, I want to see hw he's recovering without the medicines too. He should have taken all his meds at midnight but I did not feed him. His fever is at 37.6°c now and that's good news. Cough and phlegm, and runny nose is still relatively bad but he's improving. He's having yellow mucus.

AN, on the other hand, is not that bothered by her nose.

Am thankful we're almost approaching the end of It all.


posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, July 18, 2011

Crazy Day Again

Argg..!!

Day started like any other whenever kids are unwell with AN at home:

Milk for her, medicine after a while, preparation for ER's lunch followed by cereals for ER's breakfast. Dishes to be done after kids are done eating. Mum came (THANK GOD!) and helped with kids so I went to continue with ER's lunch preparation.

Then.the.drama.unfolds....

The kitchen tap BROKE. It's hard to describe what I mean by BROKE because kitchen taps DO NOT BREAK,right? Well, ours is extendable (meaning: we can pull the tap out from its holder like a showerhead). It broke where the hose was joined to the showerhead. Don't try imagining if you have no idea what I'm talking about. I don't even know how to describe it now.

Because it broke, water sprayed all over. And water seeped into the kitchen cabinets where the tap sits on.

Times like these, I feel like murder. Show me a lizard and I'll kill it...ok, maybe not.

With the kitchen flooded in several areas, I got to wipe and dry, right? ER's porridge usually cooks gently on its own but today, it decided to boil over, TWICE.

BECAUSE I NEED TO CLEAN THE STOVE, I NEEDED THE TAP. And because I used water, I had to accept the fact that I will have to clean the water which seeped into the cabinet after every use.

I called Tapz Gallery who called their agent. Cut long story short, the technician can only come tomorrow but they can't give me a time. I just have to gong gong sit by my phone to wait till they call to tell me: "I'll be here in an hour." The lady at Tapz Gallery was helpful, so I didn't want to pressure her. This is how things work and no matter how urgent or desperate I felt, to the agents, if they are fully scheduled today, they ARE fully scheduled. She said I can call her tomorrow if I don't hear from that guy, Francis, who's supposed to call me.

Despite the chaos, I was surprisingly not boiling frustrated. It was frustrating (how to feel calm when everything is in a mess and I'm rushing to make food for kids and feed them so that they can hv their medicine but the kitchen is flooded at the same time?) but something inside me tickles. I felt tickled by this whole thing.

My kitchen tap broke and I've never heard of kitchen taps breaking. We had an old tap which was still good, lying behind the utility door that I thought we could use while waiting for this tap to be fixed. But Mr Liow said the tap is gone. He forgot where it went. The least possible thing happened and usually available backup vanished. The boiling over of porridge that happened for the first time, today, of all days. And Mr Liow said his Blackberry is now voiceless, all of a sudden as well.

it's funny how bad things love to happen at the same time.

So, I pray against the spirit of Suayness! The rest of the day can only get better. The spirit of Suayness cannot stay in this house because this house belongs to the Lord.

Bye bye Suayness. Choose your next target properly. Try not to enter any households belonging to the Creator if you need a permanent roof over your suay head.

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Battle Zone FV

Thank God for the precious 4 hrs of sleep both ER and I managed. He slept almost as well as he usually does, almost 90% as well. He does wake up on good nights too, only difference this time is, his nose was blocked with thick discharge and he couldn't suckle to sleep peacefully, thus a little whiny at 4am now.

I'm replenished! Thank God! My sleep tank is full again. Am going to change his diaper and dose him again after logging off from my.phone.

AN slept well enough too considering she had been coughing quite a bit a while earlier.

Got to go.

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Crazy

Fever for last few days. Finally recovered and Mr Liow's having high fever now.

ER's fever hit 39.4°c last night. He was in such discomfort he didn't sleep, at all. I tried carrying him to sleep so that he could breath better but it didn't work much. Sleep for him was only 20-30mins each time and he spent as much time crying terribly. I stole naps whenever he fell asleep but it takes time to fall asleep. Soon, I couldn't go back to sleep and was awake till his next round of crying.

Took him to the doctor once he got up, got medicines which does seem to make him feel better. He doesn't sound that congested and uncomfortable now. Feeding him medicine wasn't easy though. He threw up some, so I gave him a wee bit more to replace before clearing up his puke.

Tried to coax him to sleep this afternoon but he didn't seem ready for a nap, so I asked Mr Liow to help watch over him while I catch some rest. Because I really wasn't created to be superhuman. I can NOT function fully for a whole family of feverish people while trying to recover from fever myself, and get NO sleep in 24hours.

So I caught 2 hrs of nap by forcing my eyes shut.

It's going to be another night of no sleep. AN is sleeping with me tonight because Mr Liow is having high fever now. She slept with him last night coz we didn't want ER to make her sick again.

And she had to chew her nails such that it tickled her throat and she threw up. That was after I won the 45 mins battle against the little boy who kept struggling to wake up and not sleep.

Should I be happy her nails made her cough so bad she threw up after ER fell asleep? It could have been before and CHAOTIC.

So, it was mad rush through games like "Change The Sheets", then "Wash Dirty Sheets", before dumping them into washing machine for a second round of cleaning, followed by "Change and Clean Up Dirty Preschooler".

Meanwhile, ER woke up crying because of all the movements.

Finally kids are sleeping. For how long, I don't know. I'm going to sleep right after this because I have to bring AN for music class tomorrow without Mr Liow.

I just pray ER will sleep better tonight, that AN won't throw up again to save me extra hours to clean up. Oh, and ER too, that he won't cough do bad he throws up like the night before.

Can't wait for this to blow over. Whoever doesn't understand why some parents are extraordinarily particular about hygiene, read this post 5 more times and imagine the above happening to you monthly. Plus barely 2 hrs of interrupted sleep every 24 hrs, plus cranky kids (and the heartache of watching them suffer), plus lots of cleaning up, plus constantly boiling water and reminding everyone to drink, plus feeding medicines and more cleaning up to do should junior puke, plus all other matters that still has to be done each day, plus fever still nesting in your body.

Ok, I'm ranting now.

This will pass. It always has. I'm waiting to see the light that according to Dr Allyson who saw ER, should appear in 2 days (if he's battling the same virus AN was up against since Wednesday).

posted from Bloggeroid

Friday, July 15, 2011

One More to Go

This is a strong virus we're battling. Even Mr Liow and I have fallen.

Mr Liow is having fever now, controlled only by Panadol. I had been having fever for 3 days now. If my memory didn't fail me, I've never had fever lasting beyond 2 days before this. Am taking Panadol too, but only 1 pill when I feel too weak to go on. I'm still nursing ER so if I can, I'll try not to pop medicine.

ER was extremely clingy last night. He had to nurse to sleep and latched almost throughout the night. I could feel his body temperature wasn't normal too. True enough, he was at 38.6°c this morning. And he coughed so bad he regurgitated milk at 5am. Thank God I had a towel under him so his puke didn't dirty the bed much. Learnt from past experience. Hehe.

He cried in discomfort for the next hour or so and didn't want to be laid down so I walked him till he was sleepy before lying down with him again.

On the other hand, AN has recovered from her fever. Mr Liow gave her Progessic at 10pm last night and her fever hasn't returned till now. She's still coughing though, but that's ok compared to 40°c fever.

This will pass. We pray for health, for the little ones to be and stay strong against this virus and others.

posted from Bloggeroid

Thursday, July 14, 2011

High Fever

AN was on bifen but still her fever soared above 40deg C. Thank God Mr Liow was home. He brought her to the doctor and came back with lots of medicines again. We were advised to start Klacid if her fever doesn't go down by Sunday. Praying that her fever would go away by then. If high fever doesnt go away, we were advised to take her in for a blood test for suspected H1N1.

Erm... No please.

ER is also starting to cough now. Round 2, START!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

When All Is Quiet

Rest at its best





posted from Bloggeroid

Fever

Both AN and I are having fever. At her highest, AN was 39.5°c and me at 38.4°c. She's around 37.4°c now after medication. And both of is are.sniffing away now.

It started with cough in the afternoon yesterday, both of us. Then AN couldn't sleep well last night, while I got up to puke at about 2am. I popped Panadol and felt better after a while. She kept waking up to tell me she was scared, so I held her hands while she slept. Only realized AN had fever when I woke her up for school early this morning.

This attack came without warning like it did about a month ago. Both of us fell sick all of a sudden and we hadn't been in contact with anyone who had been sick.

Could it be that we caught the same virus that we previously recovered from, because it is still lingering around the home?

Got to bring out Detol and the cleaner (oh my goodness....I can't remember my cleaner's name! I'm really sick...)..

posted from Bloggeroid

AN's Sprouts



AN planted her own little babies on Friday and it grew over the weekends. They looked fresh on Monday but are a little withered by now. She still loves them and hugs them saying they will grow big, strong and healthy. Hehe.

Here they are:



posted from Bloggeroid

About Praying

For Kids
Dan and Pam frequently reminds us to pray for our families constantly. For our kids, I certainly do, more than anyone else.

I pray for my own behavior to benefit them, bless them with good health, pray for their salvation and all other matters we encounter along the way.

ER had no bowel movements for 2 days and I was worried he would be constipated. In the afternoon before the kids napped, I prayed. And his poop came 10 mins later. May sound like magic but when it comes to the kids, the Lord is consistent with His words "Ask and you shall receive." I hardly get a "No" when the prayer concerns their well being. "Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world...", goes the song we sing. He really does.

Another simple incident was during nap on Monday. ER kept flipping and getting up, smiling and refusing to sleep. That distracted AN from sleeping. The longer this went on, the later they would nap, wake, eat and sleep at night. AN would have less sleep and waking up for school would be a chore.

I prayed the little boy will fall asleep soon and he did, all of a sudden. Hehe.

By Kids
Long ago when AN was little, she would imitate my prayers by blabbering with her Pooh Bear. As she grows, she doesn't always like to end the prayer by saying "Amen" with me.

A while ago, I prayed for her, then ER. She didn't want to say "Amen", so I went ahead to end our conversation with God.

After lights out, she prayed aloud:
"Lord, thank You for protecting my toys from Ethan so that he doesn't spoil them.
Lord, please do not let mummy and me fall sick (both of us started coughing this afternoon).
Lord, please don't let the virus make Ethan sick too.
Lord, thank You for my goody bag (from a classmate who celebrated her bday with them in school today).
Lord, thank You because I will not make mummy angry. I will be a good girl.
Lord, thank You for.... (a few more sentences which I've forgotten.
In Jesus' name, Amen."

That was cute. I'm glad she's learning to talk to God too. She asked how God hears us, and wonders constantly where God is. She's starting to fear the dark and I told her to pray for courage because Jesus is watching over her and nothing fearful will harm her. She wonders which part of the room is Jesus. And many other simple questions about faith.

I pray she will continue to seek the Lord. ER too. Above riches and intelligence, I pray that they will be faithful servants of the Lord.

posted from Bloggeroid

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Self Worth

It's a constant struggle: Self Worth.

Scenerio 1
Mum: Ask Andy to do it when he comes back.

Me: it's just cables. I don't need to wait til he comes back to take 3 cables out and put 3 in.
(bro took out the AV cables of the DVD player from the TV and replaced them with the Playstation's.

There were 2 sets of cables hanging. One belonged to the DVD player, one to an unknown appliance. I put one set in, but got no signal on the TV).

Dad: Why don't we wait for your bro to do it (goes on to grumble that he should have connected the original cables back after his games).

I proceeded to take out the cable that gives no signals and put in the last of the 2 sets originally left hanging behind the TV. While doing so, I could feel my parents' fear. They were worried I'd cause an explosion. Note: I wasn't even touching the power.

It worked, and they were relieved.

Firstly, fixing up an appliance is not rocket science. It does help a little with my limited engineering knowledge, and the color codes on the sockets.

Secondly, I stay home for the kids but I don't trade my brains for the time I now have for them. Adrielle can do it too if she sees me doing it.

Scenerio 2
Were causally chatting with my family when brother joked: "you won't know. You've not been working since you got married."

Fact: I stopped working 2+ years later but continued with freelancing. But I think I know, because it's common knowledge, again, not rocket science.

Scenerio 3
In December 2009 when MIL went to Tucson to visit us, I helped her send an email to a friend with exact details of individual prices of the stuff she helped her friend get.

Her friend recently recalled this and commented that the details in that email was clear and very well 'projected'. Mil proudly said that because Mr Liow is an officer, he's very detailed. She forgot who wrote it.

Mr Liow scratched his head, wondering when he wrote that. To clear the air, I said I was the one who did it.

She looked at me blankly and asked: "You know how to write an email like that?"

And why not? Was it because I am not working? Because I stay home and should by right, be stupid?

I am thankful though, that,my husband is trying to be careful with his words in this area. We had struggles over this issue lately and if you remember reading posts I wrote in Tucson when he unintentionally said things he didn't mean and he has, since then, tried very hard not to puncture my already miserably tiny bubble of confidence.

He asks me stuff regarding his work, and shares with me relatively technical details about his job. He's probably just sharing to offload stress but to me, these conversations mean something. I feel good when I understand what he's talking about!

When a conversation makes a person feel good, it either has elements of praise in there, or that person is trying to relate and is happy when 'connected'.

Oh my goodness.

Like what Lishi advised yesterday, many times, it's how I see myself. Struggle with self worth is an ill after-effect of not working for too long. People may not mean I'm worthless but I feel that of myself. And it's so easy for the devil to plant seeds of doubt in me. I doubt how my loved ones value me and I start believing I really am not productive or useful at all, totally dispensable. And there's nothing my kids can be proud of in future when they tell their friends about "mummy".

Imagine:
A: "My mum works at Xxx."
B: "My mum is a manager."
AN/ ER: "My mum stays at home whole day to eye us. She doesn't know anything...." and hangs their head in embarassment...

Sigh....

I hope that never happens. I'm trying to catch up with society in as many ways as I can and I'm thankful technology allows me to catch up. So glad I can find so much info on the internet these days.

I think I understand my mum better now.

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Part of my Bible


ER tore a page off my bible during bible study yesterday. That page kept him entertained for a while.

We were at 1 Tim 3 yesterday, about leadership and holding office in Church. None of us in our ministry hold that appointment but we learnt something nevertheless.

I was surprised Mr Liow shared that he is trying to be gentle in his behavior towards me and even AN. He had been harsh and impatient, increasingly so, in his attitude and speech. It resulted once in me telling him off after one incident and walking off, and a few other casual reminders that he really should watch his attitude.

And I told him I dreamt he spoke nicely to me like once upon a time, to which he laughed and joked :"yeah...dream...on. Haha!" It was funny when he said it and we laughed about it but I was praying the Lord will speak to him. When I point it out, he doesn't see.

I heard less of the harshness these couple of days and thought it was coz he had been in a better mood. So it was a surprise when he shared that he was reminded about what I had been telling him, during our study.

I'll continue praying for him and the kids and let the Lord do the rest. When the Lord speaks, there's no way we can't hear.

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Friday, July 8, 2011

Sleepy but Urgent

AN plopped back onto her bed after going to the toilet.



posted from Bloggeroid

Eating Better

ER had more food today. He's not as enthusiatic as he was on Saturday about his porridge (and even his cereals) but he had quite a good amount comparing to other days before his appetite started to improve.

For breakfast, it was Oatmeal with peach. He didnt finish his cereals but finished almost 1 cube of pureed peach. That's about 3 cubes I offered and he had about 2 cubes' worth of food.

Lunch was pasta stars with sweet potato and avocado. He finished half of what I gave him. Before nap, he had a few bites of watermelon because jie jie was having some. He looked interested, so i gave him some. He chewed them on his own, so I didn't have to turn them into purée.

Dinner was porridge with avocado and French beans (Also known as green beans when we were in USA). He finished all the food. That's about an estimation 4 cubes of food (1 cube each of the vegetables, a little fish and about 2 cubes of porridge cooked). After dinner, mum said she'd try to scrap apples to feed him (her first time feeding him) and he had a tiny bit.

He enjoys sweet food, unlike AN. AN used to love vegetable tasting food and didn't really enjoy fruits or sweet tasting vegetables much. That was partly why I prepared less fruits for her as compared to vegetables...and how she was constipated quite a fair bit when younger.

Was telling Mr Liow, if ER continues to enjoy food, he doesnt need to be a big eater, we should be able to see him put on a little more bulk soon. He's really a little too...... slim for a 9 month old. He's going to lose baby fats when he grows, so I hope he has those baby fats to lose.

Most importantly, I'm happy he's eating because he's getting all sorts of nutrients from the different food he gets in a week.

I'm more adventurous with him this time. I remembered I grounded AN's rice for porridge in the past but really, at this stage, they do not really need rice to be grounded anymore. ER can chew pasta stars already, and AN never got pasta stars till we got to Tucson.

Mum didn't believe ER could chew watermelon but he did. I didn't know if he could initially but there was no harm letting him try. In the past, I'd not have taken the risk and let AN chew anything that I'm not confident she wouldnt choke on.

No wonder second kids tend to learn faster. They watch older siblings and learns. Parents too, are more experienced and dares let them explore more than they would with the first child.

Let's see what I can get for him this weekend for next week. Am thinking of potato, eggplant and the bell peppers. More colourful food to come. And maybe cod fish as well.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

My Little Tiger

ER is really my joy. He's always smiling. Even if he had been crying before, all I have to do is flash him a smile and he'll return a full faced smile, not a half hearted one.

This cheeky boy sometimes wakes up crying. Since the start of this week, he had woken up crying while kneeling and holding on to the side of AN's bed which is right beside ours. The moment he sees me, he flashes a big smile with tears in his eyes. Hehe.

I went to read my old posts about AN and realized she too, used to wake up standing against the wall. Both of them are increasingly becoming more like each other, even in habits. AN used to sleep-crawl. ER now sleep-sits. He has flipped over and sat up in the middle of the night so many times and I have to lay him down, because he will still be asleep, sitting up. Frightened me a few times when I woke up to see him in sitting position.

This boy is also starting to ransack my bag. Everyday on the bus, this little wriggly worm will keep himself entertained by running his hands inside my bag while I struggle to ensure I don't drop him. He's not heavy, but he's strong.

At 9.5 mths now, he's 7.5 kg. Not heavy.

He's no longer suffering from much nappy rash by now. Most days, I don't even have to wipe his butt unless he poops.

His poop is mostly mushy now, no longer breastmilk poop. And it stinks bad. I don't remember AN's poop stinking this bad. I miss the smell of their breastmilk poop.

There's bound to be more that I'll miss as he grows, like I missed AN as a baby...am so thankful we had videos of her to remember her when she was that small, and cute. Not that she isn't cute now. She was more loveable.

Praying that ER will try to be a good boy like his sister is trying to be good each day. Praying that my tolerance and patience will increase accordingly as well.

posted from Bloggeroid

Lost My Anger, Again

Early in the morning, ER woke and won't go back to sleep. Finally he was about to, just when AN was supposed to wake up for school. I nursed him, hoping he would sleep soon.

Mr Liow came in and helped me carry AN out. She realized it wasn't me and started making a fuss. She kicked, and made noise and screamed for me.

Finally I went out coz ER decided not to sleep afterall. But AN wouldn't stop crying, even after I went out.

I looked at her cry and was deciding what I could do.

I should have hugged her to calm her down first. It's still early and she was barely awake. I chose to scold her for making noise instead. :( That, of course, wouldn't make her stop. So I smacked her 3 times on her thighs. She stopped crying loudly, and started sobbing.

I hugged her after a while and told her: "it's early in the morning. Can you help start the day on a better note?" I heard myself speak and realized I was actually talking to myself.

I'm an adult. I should be better at making choices. I chose to get angry. Should I have chosen to hug her, she would probably have calmed down. I could have started the day on a better note and not push this responsibility to a 4 year old.

Lord, when I have the opportunity to pause and decide, help me to choose the right thing to do and fight the urge to do what instinct says. Let my conscience speak louder than my instinct.

posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Teeth

First tiger teeth!


posted from Bloggeroid

My girl

For once, ER is sleeping soundly in the room and AN is happy she has me all to herself.

That's her hugging my arms to sleep.



posted from Bloggeroid

To Change or Not To?

My parents had an argument since Monday. Mum cooks for us almost daily, then leaves the cleaning up to my dad. She then hurriedly showers and helps me with the kids so that I can shower and hv my meals, depending on what time she's done.

So, what's the argument about? Dad told mum off because he didn't think she needs to cook daily. But mum cooks daily because she didn't want AN to eat out everyday. I am on mum's side on this and secretly wonders why my dad can be so selfish (updated: I cannot say my dad is selfish because he gave us allowances more than he had for himself...maybe lazy is more appropriate..?). He's sick of cleaning up everyday but wouldn't let me do the cleaning up.....

They have had disagreements over this issue a few times already, so mum is already cooking less but she will make lunch for AN at least.

I am in no position to speak up. This is not my home, and I'm not doing anything constructive each day (they only allow me to handle the kids). I can't side mum, although I had defended her when dad complains about her. And mum is soo pissed off with dad that she's mumbling about divorce again. And that is frustrating....divorce at this age? But I do feel her, given that my dad had been rather selfish since they were young. He never helped her with us and when he speaks up about us, it's something negative. Never once had he appreciated her, not even a word of thanks for her leaving her job to care for us because grandma had to leave us to take care of our younger cousins.

Mum too, never saw anything worth complimenting about dad.

They both only had negative thoughts about each other. (do I see my own marriage moving that direction too?)

I feel like a culprit. If not for AN, they would not need to fight over this. I'm contemplating bringing AN home so mum can work (since mum always enjoys working). And the kitchen won't required daily scrubbing, so dad will probably be less grumpy.

I cook for ER anyway. It won't make any difference preparing a larger portion for AN.

And for dinner, we already thought of ordering tingkat since after my confinement ended.

But I'm worried that if I bring this topic up, mum will blame dad for causing us to have to decide on a less comfortable arrangement and the anger may evolve into hatred. I'm not exaggerating. She can't stand the sight of my dad these days....

What should I do? Wait for things to be back to normal? It will, but the root cause is still there. Problems aren't solved. Or should I daringly suggest and ignore what that may spark off?

Oh...gosh.

posted from Bloggeroid

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I am my best friend

Updated @ 8am, 7 July:
I realized that he was sleeping and not ignoring me. He dozed off but woke up when I entered the room. He heard me talking but was so tired that he fell asleep again, waking up when I opened the door again, to walk out. That was why he didn't respond.

------------------------

I was talking about how the kids took a long time to fall asleep: AN wanted the lights on because she was afraid a while ago. It's the first time she asked to sleep with lights on, so I let her have the lights.

BUT...

With the lights on, ER couldn't sleep. He kept getting up and crawling towards AN. HE must be so happy with his 2 new abilities now, so much so that it was almost instinctive to keep sitting up and crawling away from me, over and over and over again.

AN tried to sleep, but ER kept crawling towards her. Then she'd wake up and gently tell him to go to sleep.

Finally, AN fell asleep and I switched the bedside lamp off. ER fell asleep soon after.

Thought I'd go spend some time with Mr Liow after ER fell asleep. Mr Liow was doing something on the iPad...I told him how ER kept crawling around and not sleeping, how he was smiling happily as he crawled around, how AN reacted, all while removing my contact lens.

I heard no reply from him. Not a single word.

After removing my lenses, I walked out of the room. He had his iPad on his lap and laptop on his bed. He doesn't need my company. In fact, he didn't even hear me....till I walked out and he managed to ask: "Where are you going?"

I didn't reply, and he didn't even bother to find out. We didn't fight before that. So, no. We were not having cold war..he just DOESN'T NEED ME.

There are days when I dread asking him anything further to what he said previously. He's less than patient and if he has a reply, sometimes they sound like it was a stupid question I asked. Of course, that doesn't happen all the time. At least not yet...afterall, we had only been married 7 years....it can only get worse, if things do not improve.

I told him he doesn't reply me patiently anymore. I do not always hear him right. Sometimes AN speaks when he's talking, sometimes ER makes noise right beside me. He'd go: "Uh...nevermind...". That translated to: "Forget it...you won't understand..".

Or if he does repeat, there will be a note of exasperation and frustration. At times, he'll repeat under the same breath, few times in a row ("stop stop stop..." or "go go GO....").

I pointed it out to him. He said he doesn't think he's doing that.

I couldn't be bothered to ask if he heard me talk about the kids just now. Because he will insist: "I replied you..." That's what he ALWAYS says when I ask if he had been listening and I distinctly watch him for replies. His lips do not move but he insists that he replied. And then ask me in bewilderment: "Didn't you hear me???" I was waiting to hear him. I was in fact, WATCHING because I didn't want to miss his response...

How do I argue with that? Or not argue? Forget it....what's the point of carrying on unless we have a witness...and we do not.

I dreamt 2 nights ago, that he spoke to me kindly....For the time being, in reality, I still get that kindness once in a while. As tune goes by, when our relationship gets even more boring, I'm going to hear less and less of the softness in his voice.

So, ya. He doesn't really need me. And there are more important things waiting for his attention. It's a chore, and waste of time to repeat when I didn't hear him. I may be deaf for all we know...and deaf people can't hear. So there's no point repeating.

No one is dispensable. A maid can do what I'm doing just as perfectly.

What am I worth?

"What......again?"

Was reading posts about AN when she was 9months old and realized both ER and her are very similar in behavior and preference. AN is a little faster: she could straighten her legs while she crawled at this age, indicating readiness to walk. ER has just started crawling but is able to stand when holding onto something.

Read too, that I was offended by mil's comments that I was torturing AN with the vegetable purees that I made for her. She said they taste raw.

Look who's having the last laugh now. AN loves vegetables so much now she eats almost all sorts of those, even raw ones in salad, even those that MIL dares not even touch...

She had been loitering the kitchen as I prepared purees for ER. Part of what I steam for ER (broccoli, French beans, edamame, carrots etc), she gets them to snack on. She was pinching those French beans last night while they were being cooled before I purees them. And she love carrots raw, not cooked. Hehe. She likes them crunchy.

Why on earth is it cruel to be giving my babies vegetable purees? I do not understand. And because ER had only 2 scoops of his porridge last Sunday, I made him more porridge for dinner. It was sweet potatoes and apples in his porridge for lunch on Sun, and then avocado and pear with porridge for dinner.

She saw me feeding him porridge again and asked in mandarin :"You feeding him THIS SORT OF THING again?". That was offending. It was food. What did she mean by "this sort of thing?" While the whole family took it slow and rested, her included, I was busy preparing food for him in the kitchen from morning for his lunch, and right after we return from AN's music class for his dinner. What did she mean by "again"? The only similarity in his meals in the porridge but both are different tasting and contain different ingredients. What was she expecting? SEafood feast???

ER gets a mixed of pasta, white rice, oat and barley cereals. He gets all sorts of vegetable purees and lately, meats as well.. I give him varieties.

I wonder what she used to give the girls when they were babies to judge my meals as "this sort of things AGAIN".

This happened when AN was this age, and it's happening again.

Seriously, if she has any idea, contribute by suggesting. Comments like that are offending, and offer no help AT ALL...she's only been bringing papaya every weekend and telling me that I can give ER papaya coz it's good for him. As if I didn't know. He's had papaya countless times but not every week coz he gets VARIETIES... So what does she mean by "AGAIN"????

Duh...

For the mummies who run out of ideas

Got this from Petite Bowl at United Square. They sell frozen purees for babies and food for kids up to 6 years. The price seems good for organic purees and is even cheaper than organic bottled ones from the supermarkets.

And if you do the purees yourself, use that as a guide!! muahaha!





posted from Bloggeroid

Girlfriends

My aunt brought her grand daughter (daughter of my cousin) to my parents' place this afternoon to play with AN. The little girl, Emily, is a very sweet and likeable girl. She's shy, but not too shy (AN is too shy outside home with people she hardly knows), willingly sits on my laps while I read to her and listens attentively. So sweet!

When AN came back from school, Emily appeared excited to meet a friend but AN was rather hostile. She didn't want to share her toys and literally ignored Emily.

Gone is the sweet sweet AN who would bring out her toys for friends who come over. Sigh...

Gave her time to warm up and I was thankful after half hour or so, she finally started brining her toys to Emily but she has rules she expected Emily to follow. Kept reminding her that Emily is only 3 years old and may not be able to follow her rules. She then did away with those rules and they both played freely. AN went : "Mine looks better" when I praised Emily's work with blocks. It's a good opportunity to watch how AN reacts in situations. Kids behave different when they are out of their comfort zone.

AN is little Miss Bossy. Because I told her that Emily is younger, she got overly concerned that she wouldn't know how to do things and started giving instructions, even when Emily knew exactly what to do. To be fair, AN probably didn't mean to be bossy. She just didn't know how much help is enough and went all out to do everything for Emily even when the little girl was trying to take back control.

Finally when they both got used to each other, it was time for Emily to leave.

Mum took AN along on a leisure ride on the MRT, to keep my aunt company. At the doorsteps, AN took Emily's hands after both girls put their shoes on. It was soo sweet watching them look at each other and giggle!

After an hour or so, mum and AN came back. Mum said AN taught Emily to take public transport by tapping her own EZ-link card, and pulling Emily through the gantry with her. And then both girls giggled again. Awww...sweet! Emily doesn't have her own card yet coz she doesn't travel on public transport much.

AN enjoyed time with Emily. The moment they came home after sending them off, AN excitedly asked if I could bring her to play with Emily again. I hope they get to meet again. In fact, Emily actually stays 2 blocks away from us but I do not have my cousin's number and couldn't call to arrange a play date. Moreover, both girls are mostly at their respective grand parents' place during the day. It won't be that easy anymore.

I think the grand mas will work something out so the girls can meet again. Hehe.

posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, July 4, 2011

Adrielle's Baileys and Maen

She's been sleeping with Baileys and Maen for few weeks now. Not them in real, but a blue doggie stuffed toy and a lamb.

She hugs them to sleep at night and if they went missing, she'd ask: "Where's Baileys and Maen?" The first time she asked, I thought she was asking about them and reminded her that they are not with us anymore. Then she said: "Not the real Baileys and Maen. I'm looking for MY Baileys and Maen." Then I recalled I named the stuffed toys after them once when playing. I don't want her to forget them. But of course she won't. Not so soon at least.

It's ironical.

I read my old old post, written long long ago when I was expecting her. I read my thoughts that I look forward to the day she gets to sleep with them on her bed (I won't allow it but I would just close an eye if they stole their way up, like they used to steal their way up to sleep with me in the past).

This day came, but we are missing the real furkids.

She missed them.

I looked at the windows, still stained with their saliva and casually commented it's time I clean them away (couldn't bear to). She pleaded with me not to. She said she wants to keep the stains. We came to an agreement: I'll leave one panel of saliva stains for her.

Have no idea what she wanted the stains for, even though she said yes when I asked if she wanted to keep them to remember them by. I suspect she probably notice me staring at them constantly and subconsciously wanted to keep them, for me.

ER is much more attentive now. He's better aware of his surroundings and even initiates hide and seek with AN and us.

That reminded me of AN at this age. She would be on the sofa, cruising along and looking around for the furkids. And she crawled with them. And crawled after them, then she ran with them, and after them. She laid beside them, and on them. She grew up with them, till I let them go.

What will ER learn about dogs? Will he know where dogs love to be scratched? Will he dare put his face right in front of one, to be licked? Will he get to feed any, the way AN got the opportunity to, the "Baileys and Maen" way? He will see lots of pictures we have of the furkids but feel nothing.

No Baileys to watch over him like how AN was watched over when she crawled. Baileys never allowed her to venture beyond the end of the sofa, and kept her on the platform when she crawled into it (when we still had it) because he didn't think she would crawl off it without falling (i think).

Watching her hug "them" to sleep now, I get mixed emotions. I wonder how much of them will she remember, how much will she forget as she grows up. I can't bear to forget them and can't bear for her to either.

Am going to constantly remind her. When will we get to meet them again?

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, July 3, 2011

My First Henna Tattoo


Done by AN's project teacher. AN wanted to have it done but not by this teacher (thought she was trying to be difficult but later realized she wanted hers to be done by another teacher because she likes the other teacher. She didn't get it in the end because we didn't have enough coupons)

It's orange in color because I only left it on my arm for half hour. The longer I leave it, the darker it'll be. Was told I should at least leave it on till the paint dries up and flakes off, which I didn't, because I am mummy koala.

Quite nice! I like it. Probably if given a chance I'll do it again, and get AN one too. Up to this point, I still feel bad when I have to disappoint my girl.

posted from Bloggeroid

AN and Her New Bed


Looks so comfy.



Our new sleeping position.

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, July 2, 2011

A Day Filled with "Good"

It'd been some time since I last felt 'rewarded'. This is one day to remember!

ER had porridge for lunch today and he loved it! He seemed to eat porridge better than most purees and cereals but his porridge intake was most impressive today. He had half a bowl of porridge with apple and avocado, finished that amount faster than I could scoop and cool the next spoonful.

For dinner, he had sweet potato and cereals. Like his lunch, he opened his mouth for his food and finished the estimated 4oz of food.

And since yesterday, he had been sitting himself up effortlessly. The first time he did that was few weeks back and he had not sat himself up since. He was so agile yesterday it almost seemed like he had been doing this for a while now.

And, he crawled! At SY's home last Sun, he looked like he was almost crawling alry. He is doing leopard crawls very well and gets around effectively. He's improving at moving on 4s, but just doesn't do that much. This afternoon though, he crawled on the floor under MIL'S supervision, on 4s. And he had been doing that even on the bed for most of today.

I'm a very satisfied mummy today.

It's not just ER. AN is also achieving another first today. She did sleep on her own for a few days sometime after ER was born and I sneaked back into our room after she fell asleep. That didn't work for long enough with her sobbing in fear upOn waking up in a dark room middle of the night to find me missing.

Tonight, she's sleeping on the converted toddler bed from the baby cot. She liked sleeping in the baby cot at Festive Hotel and had been asking to sleep on her toddler bed. Mr Liow finally converted it today and as I'm typing now, she's falling asleep soon.

I'll still have to sleep with them at night till they are old enough to sleep on their own. Till then, Mr Liow will have the big comfy bed o himself. And I'm looking forward to the day my post says: "The kids are finally sleeping on their own!"

But then again, I'm already missing having AN lying beside me now. There's a first to everything. This is formally Day One of not having AN sleeping by my side.

She's grown so much in this one year since we returned. She's weaned off breast (althogh she still asks to nurse an I'll give when she's sick so she gets the antibodies), she's sleeping with my back turned to her on most nights, and she's even sleeping on her own bed tonight. That's no including her acknowledging that I have to do housework and skip going over to popo (my mum's) place on some days.

I wish she remains that little baby girl forever but appreciates her independent sometimes...

Treasure ER now. He's probably the last baby I'll enjoy till AN needs help with her kids, IF she does in future. Hee.

Updated @ 11:05pm
Forgot to note down ER's attempt at sipping from his straw cup today. He finally did it! He sipped from AN's bottle few wks ago and coughed the water out. Guess he didn't expect water would come out if he sucked in that plasticky thing. Gave him his magmag cup today and he mainly played with it. After dinner just now, he got to try again, and he sipped, swallowed and happily drank quite a lot.

Oooooohhhh..I'm contented with all these achievements and these should last me for a while. It's AN's first music lesson tomorrow. Am sure she'll enjoy. She's been asking about it non stop since we signed her up in May.

Random Photo Time

<a href='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-fiwEx2JAY8s/Tg4CHeNX7jI/AAAAAAAAAJw/qCSLOM4tFUA/1309540871637.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-fiwEx2JAY8s/Tg4CHeNX7jI/AAAAAAAAAJw/qCSLOM4tFUA/s288/1309540871637.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 288px;'/></a>
That's of ER and I when he was about 7.5 months old. He doesn't look very different from now.


<a href='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-XEgl__Qj_zg/Tg4CNLdZA4I/AAAAAAAAAJ0/iJw1uS_kmNw/1309540896630.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-XEgl__Qj_zg/Tg4CNLdZA4I/AAAAAAAAAJ0/iJw1uS_kmNw/s288/1309540896630.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 288px;'/></a>
AN took this. She went: "Mummy, lets take a picture together!" and so,.we did.


More pictures of them together
<a href='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-BZVPC-m8C3U/Tg4CTOwMdjI/AAAAAAAAAJ8/ZQhnBcEOgPI/1309540919126.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-BZVPC-m8C3U/Tg4CTOwMdjI/AAAAAAAAAJ8/ZQhnBcEOgPI/s288/1309540919126.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 216px;'/></a>

<a href='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-0NHWEF-Booo/Tg4CZMFBFGI/AAAAAAAAAKA/OUxaZ-9MFKY/1309540943220.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-0NHWEF-Booo/Tg4CZMFBFGI/AAAAAAAAAKA/OUxaZ-9MFKY/s288/1309540943220.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 216px;'/></a>

<a href='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-36IJI49E8Kc/Tg4Ce6MtNQI/AAAAAAAAAKE/CT5WTxcHZKo/1309540966451.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-36IJI49E8Kc/Tg4Ce6MtNQI/AAAAAAAAAKE/CT5WTxcHZKo/s288/1309540966451.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 216px;'/></a>

<a href='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-UuVWsPMzUA4/Tg4CksY7HjI/AAAAAAAAAKM/4_lZVC1EzAg/1309540989958.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-UuVWsPMzUA4/Tg4CksY7HjI/AAAAAAAAAKM/4_lZVC1EzAg/s288/1309540989958.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 216px;'/></a>

<a href='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-wU4BLdSSw-o/Tg4Cp8rE8VI/AAAAAAAAAKQ/Hz_UN2LwFjY/1309541012297.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-wU4BLdSSw-o/Tg4Cp8rE8VI/AAAAAAAAAKQ/Hz_UN2LwFjY/s288/1309541012297.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 216px;'/></a>

posted from Bloggeroid

Friday, July 1, 2011

Expensive Yogurt!

Mr Liow got Yobaby from Cold Storage the last time and I didn't know how much he spent. The first time I got them from NTUC, they didn't struck me as costly.

That pack of 4 costs S$10.95!

A pack of 6 cost less than S$6 in Walmart.

I realized not everything is cheaper in the States although most are. This is something I wished I could stock up on. Would plain adult yogurt be safe enough? I can add ER's fruit purees to sweeten the otherwise sour yogurt right? Will there be too much cow's milk content for a 9 month old? Hmm...

ok, I'll go read up.