I will not continue to allow myself to decay spiritually. Many thanks to Yifang who had been encouraging me to spend time listening to sermons online whenever possible (she had been listening to Joel Osteen on youtube).
Going back to church helps. The Lord hasn't given up on me. AN went for the adult service and decided that she enjoys the adult service more than Sunday school. ER is still dependent on my presence in his class. Last week was the worst with him literally stuck to me physically, unwilling to let go because he didn't want to risk me leaving him there. I'm not sure if we should continue or if we should join the adult service together with Mr Liow and AN. I highly doubt ER can sit through at least 30mins of sermon. We'll continue with Silverboxes till he's old enough to decide if he wants to sit in with the adults.
Going back to church helps. The Lord hasn't given up on me. AN went for the adult service and decided that she enjoys the adult service more than Sunday school. ER is still dependent on my presence in his class. Last week was the worst with him literally stuck to me physically, unwilling to let go because he didn't want to risk me leaving him there. I'm not sure if we should continue or if we should join the adult service together with Mr Liow and AN. I highly doubt ER can sit through at least 30mins of sermon. We'll continue with Silverboxes till he's old enough to decide if he wants to sit in with the adults.
The way I am will affect the way the kids grow up to be as adults. I want them to grow up happy, loved and contented.
I cannot control what the world does to me but I can control how I react to the world. I have had enough of self pity. A year is long enough.
I am not going to wait till the end of this year to make my new year resolution: I want to be positive with immediate effect (not going to be easy).
It is by His Grace that I am where I am now and have what I have. I have 2 gems that I should never stop polishing.
As a mum, I'm constantly struggling. I struggle with being patient with them (I will always be struggling with that. I'm not naturally patient.) And then I struggle with guilt for not being able to exercise self control after lashing out at them.
By my own strength, I'm doomed to fail.
I am weak but HE is strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-9
Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
I cannot control what the world does to me but I can control how I react to the world. I have had enough of self pity. A year is long enough.
I am not going to wait till the end of this year to make my new year resolution: I want to be positive with immediate effect (not going to be easy).
It is by His Grace that I am where I am now and have what I have. I have 2 gems that I should never stop polishing.
As a mum, I'm constantly struggling. I struggle with being patient with them (I will always be struggling with that. I'm not naturally patient.) And then I struggle with guilt for not being able to exercise self control after lashing out at them.
By my own strength, I'm doomed to fail.
I am weak but HE is strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-9
Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
The following passage won't just be for SAHMs. Unless parenting has always been a breeze for you, read on and be encouraged.
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Raising Godly Children
Equipping Godly Parents to Raise Godly Children in a godless Generation
Dear Stay-at-Home Mom,
You are a gift of God to your husband and your kids.
But you don’t always feel that way, do you?
There’s a low-level feeling of guilt that creeps into your heart from time to time. Sometimes it bubbles over into tears, usually on lonely, difficult days.
You scan blogs and read books about being a good mom. You find some helpful tidbits here and there, often from women who are grandmothers now. Women you can learn from but who seem to have forgotten the struggle. They seem to have it all together.
In your heart, you want to be the kind of mom who trains up kids to make a difference for the kingdom. You know it’s an honor to be entrusted with these kids. You know you’ve only got one shot. You want to be the mom who teaches them the Bible, models how to pray, and trains them up in the fear of the Lord.
But most of the time you feel like you’re barely holding it all together.
Your house cleaning can’t keep up with your kids’ mess-making.
The kids embarrass you by acting up right when your guests arrive.
Your husband doesn’t get just how worn out you are by the end of the day.
You come to the end of your patience. You lose your temper. Then you feel worse.
The last thing you consider yourself to be is a “good mom.” And you think to yourself, It’ll be a miracle if my kids turn out okay.
And – surprisingly – that’s right where God wants to meet you. The place where you admit your powerlessness and your need for Him.
It’s only by God’s grace that any kid grows up to be a force for the kingdom.
You see, there are no perfect kids and no perfect mothers. No matter what you read in blogs, see in magazines, and learn in books. There are sinful kids and sinful moms and dads.
And the only thing greater than both is the grace of God. The God who says “there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” The God who loves to forgive, to transform, and empower.
God loves you – not because you are a good mother but just because you are His precious child.
God loves you – not because you’ve mastered all the skills of parenting but because He has.
It’s divine grace that will transform your parenting – not guilt.
It’s grace that will keep you going and serving and scrubbing when you’re exhausted and worn out.
It’s grace that will conquer your feelings of inadequacy and remind you of God’s love for you in Christ.
It’s grace that goes for the heart of your kids, not just their behavior.
God has demonstrated the fullness of His love for you through the cross of His Son, even while you were still a sinner.
He has promised you His presence.
He has spoken His approval over you in Christ.
He is the perfect Father who delights in you as a daughter.
Find in Him your Treasure and Joy. Be to others what He is to you.
So walk in freedom. Let Him hold you together when everything seems to be falling apart.
Bask in His unfailing love for you. And rest in His promise of power.
Trevin Wax (The Gospel Coalition Blog)
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