Life and Death

ER just threw up in the midst of my discussion with AN for no obvious reasons. Guess it's indigestion. I hope it's indigestion! Please please please.

So, we went for my uncle's funeral in the late evening. AN went with us.

There was a service (Christian funeral) before we got to see him in the half opened coffin (with a glass layer separating him and us). I carried AN and she saw my uncle (her grand uncle) lying in there.

This was her 1st time seeing a person lying in a coffin, lifeless. It's probably uncomfortable for some of you reading at this point. I know, today is THE LUNAR 7TH MONTH. But my Lord is greater than my fears.

AN wasn't afraid but she was observing the whole walk through. My aunt cried as I hugged her (while carrying AN in my other arm) and AN stroked my aunt's shoulder to comfort her.

My little girl must have started wondering there and then, why my aunt was so sad.

And she started questioning (at the funeral):

AN: "Why is he lying inside?"

Me: "He's resting."

AN: "He will wake up tomorrow?"

Me: "No. He will wake up when he reaches heaven. Not tomorrow, not here anymore."

AN: "Heaven is not in Singapore?"

Me: "Heaven is where Jesus is."

AN starting to sound different. She's thinking fast now.

"Why is he not coming back?"

Me: "Because he was very very sick. He has cancer and it made him so painful everywhere."

AN: "You can put a plaster on him. Does that work?"

Me: "No. The pain is so bad plasters don't work. Jesus saw the pain and had to take him away so that he never has to feel that type of pain again. So, he is with Jesus now, and no more pain."

AN continued asking during bedtime.

"Mummy, when someone dies, they don't come back anymore?"

Me: "No"

She started sobbing, to my surprise.

She said she missed her yeye (Mr Liow's dad who passed away before I was even pregnant with her), and started crying very very sadly. I guess she's understanding death better as we talked. I'm no expert, obviously. But I know separation is not final. Not in all deaths.

I'm not sure where my FIL (her yeye) is now. But the Lord will not give up on him. I'll know when my turn comes.

For now, I need to comfort my emotional little girl.

It's easier to explain separation as it is when I have to leave them at home and go out. It's temporary (like the bible says, although the period mentioned is very different) but ER cries when I go. He misses me.

It's happy reunion when I come back home. Like when we see them in heaven again, it will be very happy.

I told her that responsibilities get passed on from people to people. As an illustration, Popo will leave when it's time (I've prayed that her and my dad's destination is to be where Jesus is) and I'll be popo to her (AN's) kids. Someday, I'll go and it'll be her turn to be a popo. We will miss each other and when we meet again, she can tell me: "Mummy, I missed you!"

I almost cried as I explained it.

And then ER threw up.

Thank God for the time out. It's too much for a little girl in a day.

I hated separation since my first experience with it at another auntie's funeral. I was 7 years old. And I kept crying.

That was the end. No more. No heaven, no reunion. That WAS eternal separation. Till I knew Jesus, the hopes I will have in Him, the reunion I can look forward to. Not everyone believes the same but the Lord gave me a future after the end.

I'm thankful AN is thinking. This is going to help in our sharing of the gospel with her.

Nursing Mums

http://crappypictures.com/2011/06/what-it-is-like-to-not-sleep-at-night-illustrated-with-crappy-pictures.html

This is so funny, and exactly what I'm going through, except that we don't sleep with Mr Liow.

Learning Journey

AN went on an excursion to the zoo yesterday and came home with lots of updates about the weather and things she learnt.

First off, she did not have her water bottle with her throughout the trip. She either left it in school before she boarded the coach, or left it in the coach that brought the children to the zoo.

She said she tried not to feel thirsty because she had no water to drink. My heart ached when I heard that :( I can't blame the teachers that she forgot where she left her bottle, but it'd be nice if the teacher in charge would remind the children to drink and notice if any of them were not drinking.

She had apple juice with lunch though. Thank God.

She told me she had "fried tengkaki" for lunch. I took a while to wonder, before I saw the barely consumed box of "snackers" from KFC in her bag, that she meant "Kentucky". Lol! Kentucky Fried Chicken, not fried tengkaki. We have always called it KFC or "kiak kiak chicken" (kiak kiak coz of the crispy skin). "Kentucky" Fried Chicken is a new term.

So cute.

And then she learnt about the butterfly's life cycle. She told me about the "paya" inside the cocoon before it becomes a butterfly.

My brains started wondering, again, what a paya can be. Then it occurred to me she meant "pupa". She has soooooo naturally associated the pupa as "paya", that each time she talked about it, she did not stop to correct herself. The "pupa" has become a "paya" after a trip.

-____-"

Still adorable, but I'll have to work on that till she gets the proper term.

She taught me that butterflies are wet the moment they break out of the cocoons and have to walk-flapwings-repeat till they are dry before they can fly. I also learnt that female deers love fruits. And the fox owl with a face resembling a fox.

I like how she comes back Miss Knowledgeable after every excursion. She's my teacher :)

Samba Kings Book 3

AN's song with action

Nail Polish

Got the "Clouds of Candy" blue shimmery polish for AN because she had stopped the nail biting for a long time now. It's a good excuse to pamper her (something I have almost stopped doing since ER's birth. No good!)

She couldn't decide which to choose online, so I brought her to Kiddy Palace to choose. OMG...it's $7 more costly in the store than online!

Told her she can choose only one and she made me choose because she "loves every single colour it's so hard to pick only one."




This is a lovely shade of shimmery blue that looks silver under the yellow lighting at home and in pictures.

She's so happy with her painted nails she just can NOT stop looking at them.

Even as she was reading her storybooks before bedtime, she was so distracted. And she was honest about it:

"Mummy, you have to help me point to the words. I can't point to them today because my nails are so pretty I cannot stop looking at them."

Lol.

She has no school tomorrow, so my princess gets to keep the painted nails through weekend.

Happy like a bird.

*Note to self: I'll order online as recommended by M&M Mama in future. $7 difference in price is a lot leh!

Recovering

AN's temperature has gone down from mid 38°c. It's been 6 hours since her last dose. Guess the fever is leaving.

She complained about pain in her throat. That's probably what brought her temperature up.

This girl had been looking forward to celebrating National Day in school and was terribly disappointed that she had to stay home.

The next best appointment will be with her cousins today at SIL's place. She asked if we will still be going, to which I can only tell her we will if she recovers in time. We don't want to make the girls sick.

I hope to bring her there too. She's been looking forward to these celebrations and I can't bear to disappoint. Looking at her temperature now, I think she's going to be a happy girl tis evening.

And thank God AN had been relatively strong this year with more healthy days and faster recovery from being unwell otherwise.

Thank God!

Warning: Not for Guys

I'm sure almost all my friends checking in on me here are ladies...BUT if you are a guy, you probably won't want to.read on. Check out the other posts. :p

















And my 'auntie' is finally here.

Her last visit was in December 2009, before ER chased her away.

Let's see:

With AN, I didn't have to worry about her uninvited visits during my pregnancy, up till 18 months after AN's birth.

With ER, he's now 22 months old. I have had convenience for that long.

All good things come to an end.

I realised that my complexion is less dry these few days. My skin looks less wrinkly and I feel less haggard.

My auntie brings a little of my youth back to me along with her visit this time. Guess she wants to feel welcomed.

So, welcome back! I don't want the mood swings though.