Puke Again

Everyday?

I'm so sick of it. Of feeding him, of puke, of rejection. Never a day of positive something that can lift me up, even if a little.

He slept early last night. No milk. The only things that got in his system was that 200mls of milk in the afternoon and tiny bowl of porridge.

Woke him up early today and it wasn't hard. Made him milk and he threw up after 3 mouthfuls.

I am going crazy...all the hellish horrors are back! Full force.......

I lost control and cried while clearing the mess. Everyday? First meal of the day? 15 hours since his last meal?

He got frightened and cried too..

I washed him up and hugged him. My heartached...he just have felt terrified...

Why does sucky situations never fail to leave me? Why do I get kids that hate everything FOOD?

WHY??

AND DON'T ASK ME WHY MY KIDS DON'T EAT. I CAN'T EVEN FIND AN ANSWER. WHY DON'T I JUST GO DIE? SUCH A SIMPLE THING ALSO CANNOT DO.

Or is this just a sick nightmare? Maybe I'll wake up soon.